fine also soft sands

stirred easily into clouds

the debris called friends.

across the board, cloth

felted finger stealing grime

as I wipe away.

clinging paradox

where letting go bring it close.

-nicer if you’d stayed.

I find a new peace

within pieces connecting

a tapestry’s knot.

I dream coming joy

steaming poppers steps away

well, Silly,  get them!

the bucket brigade

waltzing buckets wiping down

more now accomplished.

spiritual paradox

much doesn’t matter  save spirit

out to reflect it out


day day day…!

parading gems glittering

like litter jewels.

I remember…uh

promising maybes  given

no lived out sans me.

romantic q-tips

feel the ends softly give in






The box flashes into being saying  “signature” with buttons for clear/cancel or OK!/Done depending on who sold the goods.    I Contract a variety of things…big dang deal.  lucky me, too.  Today’s ‘Lifestyles Of The Ain’t likely to be Famous’ are:

a ‘potty’ pail.

Complete with such things as similar to what i utilize at my job to try to earn an extra buck.  I know this is thoroughly unexciting sounding stuff.  I do.  But think just for a minute on your neglected symbol isms, please.  I can’t just clean it when it needs cleaning.  I can’t tell.  I’m woefully lacking in the ability to set a free form rolling schedule of alternating tasks as most do NOT excite me and therefor are forgotten.  But I can. within reason achieve swift or at least steady routine.    Want visitors, have a guaranteed clean commode.  It could be appreciated.   it could be one more factor putting people at ease.  there is of course no guarantee of this, but  it is safe to say looks count.  Even this Blind guy can see that one.  but note this means while I can utilize a variety of methods, I tend to do the same things over and over, so it’s a brush for the swishing of the toilet itself, tp to  utilize a fresh flushed cleaner for wiping all down flushing again rise / dry wipe flush…lotsa steps, yes?   true but a: it’s once a day and i can check performance of the plumbing…and if you feel the need to hold on, even that’s clean enough to do so. only you are the soiler.  😉    there is a spray bottle of cleaner.  why, because such is what i use and it both works and leaves the quintessential freshly cleaned you know it in an instant scent.  a pail because the cleaner and it’s jug too must also hold a scrubber for the shower and perhaps if needed something to fill a bunch of cleaner for a power house scrub clean on the soiliest of occasions.  there is air freshener as well odor’s linger and one wishes to mask some damage hopefully….please…  I mean I’m proud in potty-land achievements too, I am a male roar! but how many ug’s does a person need to clue in that this is not the toot your own horn TIME.  I say this because it is NOT my first plunger or scrubbies or brushes buckets cleaners whatever… it’s not.  it is however the first time I modeled how i get paid back into my life.  it is the first time i came home after purchasing the goods and actually utilized them.  Just like I must more often too at work, work it.   will I win a water conservation award, no.  will I win a proper way to do things effectively award? no.  will it as it is right now be check-ably done?  yes.


of course (my hair is curly….as I wipe my hand across my bald head like Sam  in Casablanca… the song, knock on wood ) I bought some lemon curd, fig jam, two candy bars cigarettes and two tubs tins of teas. all good things in a manner of speaking.  But you can see what has me flushed with excitement.  I am finally connecting what works for? ME the signatory of them.  Yes, when you can’t bleeping tell if the job needs doing nor if you did it right, you must adapt.  This is just an example of trying to not just do that but own it proudly as if I can’t do it for myself – what matter is it?  not as much.  who’s important?  testing one one one me me me.  attention lady cats please skip the usual ew, sorry if there is a queue!


Strawberry Alarm Clock

Why yes!  I have just become an allussion to psychedilic rock of the 60’s.  I will now perform for you my next trick., Coffee.

Taking Cashew milk, Strawberry preserves – you know the kind, a thmble jar from the holiday gift box?, Truvia baking with a touch of brown sugar, another glass of water, oh yeah and coffee! can not be forgetting that! and combining them in an ALARMING as normal but early way to make morning.

The Sweetened cashew milk is de strawberry bitted and “microfoamed” in the steam wand of a cheap esspesso-LIKE *not actually hahaha* machine.  it is an actual but inexpensive thus improper pretender to the thrown of espresso machines.  and it’s switched to brew and that’s poured o’er top.

As i’ve Mentioned, it’s Decaff pretend tire tasting Folger’s decaffeinated green tub coffee with that molasses  hence tire undertone… it is good with brown sugar and jelly just barely hinting strawberry coffee.  yes, good.  it’s warm and pleasing.  it now remains to read over this and realize the abuse of words to say this much.

strawberry…a term for a minor cut while shaving for beauty.  alarm…alert alert! I’m as positive at least til a few more sips are sipped as red ink.  which for children of todays age is still not the color to see on their homework.  for anyone well older than me when you still could write checks, it was a color 😉  and Innadoddadivida is a song from the strawberry alarm clock woefully dated in it’s use of a show also woefully dated, Home Improvement with Tim Allen as Tim Taylor of Tool Time fame- wherein a campy way the parents frighten the children with their groovy party ways from way back when.    Make no mistake, right now it’s a party – ME!  A chili morning warmed with coffee  as the adventure anew unfolds.

when share and create

become countered with  where’s mine

there is an impasse.


sopes and swiping

here’s my chicken blue corn sopes.


here’s  a swift internet search so you’d see a pic of what i’d otherwise pick not wanting 2 hours of send,edit, convert,edit some more upload, ad nausium.

slim pickins for blue corn sopes pictures today!  normally this is easy peasy.


pandering Ponderings

I walked out ..just after midnight…in pretty nightmare before christmas fuzzy pajamas to wonder if the tree was for a second an echo of lightning.

I stomped home after 3 hours doing most of a training module I can not sleep tonight so wont easily be up to knock out tomorrow 😉 after the words we’ll see to it you get paid mentioned in training yet  here i am and its up to your manager.  … this was after the bus driver asks if i’m getting off at the base and i say yes and where…for him to gun past it at full speed and charge me an additional fair to return the on stop.  I showed documentation of disability by the way…. part of how you get a discount fare.  what a discount!

the odor of some days is not unlike that feel when you discover your clothes got kitty bombed.  you know you love the stinker, it beats the alternative 😉  you know bad days versus no days at all.  so i’m walking to my blood draw which are back to fasting labs which means  3 miles hiked  on skipped breakfast as what food til lunch?  logistics.  now please note the fine salmon in creamy chili parmesian sauce with wilted baby spinach to return to!

II hoped and i hoped but sometimes love just ain’t enough along with a round of aaron neville the day before at work every body plays the fool sometimes.  its odd somedays to realize you do hear the ‘voices”

I realized i deja vu a lot.  it’s nice to know I repeat life more than one does that taco bell.  which reminds me,  do you know how decadent it is athat last night hitting the TB for a value box not remembering i stopped eating beef and pork ?  oh god was that divinely forbotten. 😀

I wonder if i’ll ever see the me others see.


I took pictures for the first time in ages.  i wa making chicken filling for upcoming sopes.  I was resetting to normal wishing to share a little of my normal loves to get one last silence- you know when you just know.  like it was thunder and lightening tornadoey for some and the town i wanted to move to got hit up with the suckers pretty good…ahhhi seem to have encountered a lot of bummer hitting all at once in bunches.  but i listened to that country song rain’s tears from the floor of heaven…oi.  angry fit down here!  😉  to mean it was a soaking   and a day of cards  but i didn’t actually win at cards which is puzzling… I just got booted from a hoped love and i am losing worse at cards now than even then so that paradox goes lucky in love unlucky at cards.  i mean i start out winning and just get SMEARED with fortune reversals.


i wonder.  i ponder.  I’m sure i pander to the wildest things to say.  to be that fresh air like downwind from the pet chow company…fetid? 😉  i wonder.  I’m told most paradoxically of all that my love never is to return yet we’ll date again in august. house afire  yet no traveling with that bff, hmn.    I guess even the magic 8 ball doesn’t want to lose the business 😉

I found chinese fortune cooke makers to abalone shell trinket jewelry to desirable hot sauce all things in the vein of but not actually flowers,  and as i’m an aged fool oh you deja vu, I wonder if i should be silly and leave the flowers saved for algernon, if you remember you homework from highschool. 😉  I still wonder. but i forget more again so it shant be too long. what? was that again?  oo a chance to repeat it all again…HISTORY.


Somewhere In There

George Gershwein, Summertime

Cab Callaway, Ev’rybody eats when they come to my house.

Gene Krupa, Buddy Rich & Sammy Davis Jr.

two freeform duets Tuba Feedback/Flute & mbira Trumpet… so you can get your odd on.

Danse Macre,

Zig, zig, zig, Death in cadence,
Striking a tomb with his heel,
Death at midnight plays a dance-tune,
Zig, zig, zag, on his violin.

The winter wind blows, and the night is dark;
Moans are heard in the linden trees.
White skeletons pass through the gloom,
Running and leaping in their shrouds.

Zig, zig, zig, each one is frisking,
You can hear the cracking of the bones of the dancers.
A lustful couple sits on the moss
So as to taste long lost delights.

Zig zig, zig, Death continues
The unending scraping on his instrument.
A veil has fallen! The dancer is naked.
Her partner grasps her amorously.

The lady, it’s said, is a marchioness or baroness
And her green gallant, a poor cartwright.
Horror! Look how she gives herself to him,
Like the rustic was a baron.

Zig, zig, zig. What a saraband!
They all hold hands and dance in circles.
Zig, zig, zag. You can see in the crowd
The king dancing among the peasants.

But hist! All of a sudden, they leave the dance,
They push forward, they fly; the cock has crowed.
Oh what a beautiful night for the poor world!
Long live death and equality!

( 😛 to that line, but I never really heard/read this was supposed to be part of the oompha  wikipedia on danse macbre)


mud sand, water, straw, FASTER!

This picture frame is a test of whether  the fifty calibre bullet will go through bullet proof glass.  this exact  point is a compromised  fram with a test rond of a nine milimeter bullet in the lower right portion of the picture shown above followed by the big boy slug .  you can see if the bullet wins.  I of course care but it’s not exactly what i was after.  I’m not gun happy.  however- to get what i wanted involves writing about something i know little about and that is being gun happy.  I want to know the impact force of a softball size hail stone at terminal velocity and how it can repeat if destroy the joint at least not leak through that day.  why?  that’s because what value is a roof if it can put up with a little wether?    and it never hurts to remind people not all things are available first search but this isn’t an uncommon question so learning how to ask questions is also worthy of noting.

so as you can see  math beyond what i know is required.    what BULListics!  if you’ll pardon the pun on ballistics, the study.  here’s where you also see something of why one should attempt a minor bit of scholastic rigors too,  a simple search of a big big boom boom gun…technical sounding terminology that … impressive for a monkey!… is varying from more than 20% in the first two listings; of first a fifty calibre  round/bullet exerting first sixty five thousand pounds per square in or fifty four thousand pounds per square inch – which could be a misread of the questions asked as in: how much is required to stop the round versus how much actual force is FROM the round….or diferent testing proceedure and ammunition…two variance up front worth knowing about but this isn’t a soft ball sized hunk of ice hurling from the skies – but  why punch the information starting it’s flow because i have to get educated and hell a roof stoping a sniper is also a fair bit of value to know too 😉

next, charts and materials have to enter into this – which bullet proof glass?  it isn’t like there is just one kind just as there isn’t one gun nor one ammunition type for the gun, there isn’t just one form of bullet proof glass.  I found this amusing in that i’m a trekkie – the discussion of info includes a substance “transparent aluminum” so to speak and that’s straight out of Star Trek Four: The Voyage Home!  Transparent Aluminum, That’s the ticket, Laddie… Do you want it or shall i punch up Clear?  the space boys were of course making a whale tank to help their story hold water – so to tongue and cheek… besting the then current best technology by a factor of six!    but again. materials.  transparent aluminum in this case is a clear substance and mostly aluminum.. it’s chemically? aluminum oxynitride.   good material thus 1.66 inches thick will stop. fifty caliber ammo, maybe not all of it but commonly used forms of same said. – the why of that is in the deceleration- if something isn hard enough it wont let anything through but obviously pressures build and thus more material is needed for armor.  aluminum oxynitride at one cubic inch weighs 2.56 oz thus isn’t seemingly much but 144 inches is not the  1 square foot window – a small  small window! but it’s but 242 cubic inches of that material to make a small window stop a fancy gun.  and that’s 242 x 2.56 /16 or a 1 square foot window pane 1.66 inches thick which is listed as the stopping oomph for a fifty caliber round  which you see by the video above is packing quite a wallop! …but that line from Scotty is in star trek six: the undiscovered country. 😉  and such a bit of material would weigh nearly 39 pounds.  thus if you think some smarty out there didn’t think up how thick  bullet proof glass has to be to withstand a small arms shot or good crow barring at the jewelry store…think again.  and believe me their cases are effing heavy hunks to move!

for the mathy thing on force.  no, it does not make perfect sense, I’m not good at this math.  but I may upon further rereading have an epiphany.

Click to access hailsize.pdf

this is a better table of info and test strategy than my previous night’s inquiry but doesn’t list my specific grab and go specification of  softball sized hail impact directly but how one MAY arrive there  and as usual utilizes different math units than bulls so isn’t initially the same information either 😛 😛  so there is ways past asking some hillbillies over for a snort of the white lightning and a good ol shoot ’em up with a jug to the first one to put a bullet through my roof with one shot fired and no ability to tag others or utilize devices  or freak chance/circumstance to have others shoot for you and or soft en up the luck with a few sneaky dynamite-ings first…or similar.

a general link to general materials of “bullet Proof Glass”

and a simple reminder that

so that it is PLAINLY understood whether you investigate any of the words or skim, you just don’t need the maximum punch or stopping power available or more horsepower as ti and slobber after.  but careful, if you promise bullet proof, you don’t want the first smart ass bringing a literal canon to your party and winning bets because he thought you the sucker fool for easy money!    if you promise bullet proof, one should mean it 😉

but a simple conversion of info is in order of ft/lbs instead of other terms and thus a singular type of fifty caliber ammo exerts eighteen thousand ft pounds so therefor it is 80 times more than a 4 and a half p inch chunk of ice hurling from the heavens.  yikes! (that’s a 30ft chunk of ice dagger traveling  at the roof tile at 120 MPH kinds of OOMPH)

so next one doesn’t have to have just ONE thing stopping the fun here- it can be  a system of things just as a roof rarely is just shingles!  but it very much has to withstand a LOT as in not turn into shattered dust first ping as such would mean roof leaking.  but such is a tall tall order.

what shatters, the hypothetical roof tile- in this case expecting to withstand without leaking  softball sized hail fromheaven hurled long enough for the roof to be replaced another time- i.e. when the roofers become ambulance chasers after the storm of the century due as they often are yearly these days 😉  made hopefully of cheap conrete but fancy tech so as to manage.

how might that be managed?  silk.  so smooth and desirable as clothing or bed clothing but in reality fair cheap and strong a fiber.  this same silk like protein stuff is cemented with silicates all pretty inside seashells  and thus I’m sure i’m not likely to cheaply make a sexy thin anyways roof to withstand a fifty cal sniper party surprisingly showing up unwanted but I sure can stop some wicked huge hail! and basic small arms type things!

and this is how sea shells silk strength cement and hopefully sure cheap meet to occupy me.

if you wonder if i pulled this out of my arse- i did but the other day i did look up abalone and how that iridescence is achieved – which isn’t wholly known by the way but partially, and just like the famed myth colossus of Rhodes was ivory which had to be soaked  in a magic sauce to become pliable to make a huge statue as elephant tusks just didn’t come in that size that year…or any of them,  there are ways to keep prizing the secrets out of the earth on the cheap.

and of course the listed stuff, aluminum oxynitride.

yes, smugly told you scientifically without the obvious  hints that while you can backyard up 1650C furnaces, and of course  press then heat treat  …diamond making press available from china now   haha okay not that much squish, but still, hint, no, you can’t easily or otherwise make this at home 😉  but you can at least mimick it with  aluminum foil and cans ;)!  so no there is no back up to having this avaialbe just anywhere- so 🙂 think a moment not avialble just anywhere means valuable so how to get  sheet press and bone chine and beyond kilm for super tileing?  hmn hmn hmn and i said NO horsepower uppings… hahahahaha, what the eff, why not?  i can dream  or, 😉 is the effing idea simply “sunk?” 😉  okay, geek smartass  😛  bite me and of course



There is something seedy *cd in making up microwave bacon.  It’s easily crispable and also burnable just like in the pan but only faster….yet once you make a batch you tend not to change the magic button pushings of the recipe that works.  I am restricted from consuming beef and or pork products not because I became Religious twice…but because if i wish to limit impending troubles further exacerbated I get to make a choice of listen or don’t listen to my given advice.  I have thus nuked my turkey bacon as I’m lazy and didn’t thus fry it.  I got to eat it swiftly and I’m happy.

Godshall’s turkey bacon is not the mechanically separated turkey or a mst….must.  it’s real bits of turkey.  this is on par with saint dalfore’s brand tea telling me they screen their tea leaves from powder to fannings meaning their tea is superior to tea dust.  I like saint dalfore tea as i also tend to like Godshall’s turkey bacon- which is almost more of a ham to me than a bacon.

Is one product truly superior?


The advantage of turkey bacon which to me is this as it’s cooked, it can be fully cooked  and yet til it cools  it wont harden “crisp” very well.  this means similar cook times products can be bacon wrapped easier and thus this is a more fun product to me.  do YOU care?  I honestly don’t know.  I have an hour to kill without smoking cigarettes all hour or eating all hour so it’s sit in front of a blinking cursor time for me and blather about bacon.  there are worse religions to be booted from, the religion of bacon in favor of bacon substitutes… and make no mistake, turkey bacons are a substitute and i wouldn’t eat them if they hadn’t their own merit.  they aren’t the same.  I just get a kick out of it though.  I can sorta still enjoy living and yet honor some restrictions so as to honor me.  I should paint in my mind the day the doctor said i’d died as there’d be no more bacon or Krystal’s burgers as I was to eliminate beef and pork… I’d been ex communicated from the church of tastes good.  Beef and pork are NOT my friends.


So there you go bacon…  in this case fake bacon.  But what’s this cd stuff and countdowns?  Oh, just a chance to introduce something else somewhat seedy too.


Cinnamon Coffee and Other People’s Laundry

four hours later

I just woke up!……face to palm time.

the laundry’s going.


O sirvoved tje forst mogjt pm tje mew gig.  I’m seeing i’ve roughly a five hour day.  around here it’s odd, the mandatory lunch by “federal” law seems to be six hours and more and thus most shifts are? under six hours oh oops.  I was told it was four and a half or? it’s added to keep folk’s in compliance.  Granted I’m coming from Medical areas to hit food service now a gas station.    catching on that it’s new to me and my experience?

I’m awake remembering, ” you did a lot and do especially well with customers!”  I did not do a lot and I’d better be good with interactions, I ran groups for years…. someone kick me for thinking I’m all that right in the face of not being all that.    But Thank you for the kindly lie.

I seem to have a shift set of Sunday and Monday’s five thirty pm to close – which those nights are Ten Thirty or just before.  Wednesday through Fridays are an additional offering of noon to five.  Thus Tuesday and Saturdays are MINE.  I live just a fraction over One Mile from my home to this store. and thus this is thirty five minutes ish to walk.  I’m allowed one break of fifteen minutes here different that the food service side of base jobs in that it’s not a clock off break – however all purchases are full price and must have a signed reciept so as to show fair cash handling  attentions.


My detail of joy to check is the Chobani single serve yogurt is expiring, not expired, expired today.  I sure do fucking hope I get to see that detail later.  such a bullshit life to care the milk so to speak isn’t expired on the shelf.  one little detail.


I will struggle to ffind both a better process/routine to achieve keeping this job too.  I’m also dead robot at the end of it.  for this season it’s currently Winter 30’s out and thus cold.  which is 20 grees warmer than my Original Colorado in this here Georgia and yet it’s about the same.  brr.  Feeling a big sissy.


if you count details this pays roughly minimum wage but luckily it’s a real hassle to change my pay grade from food service down to this job or the ladies in h.r. are feeling generous twice.  remember, this is my second assignment in just over a month there.  I physically can’t work food service as i have eye trouble that gives me nose trouble – no leaking in food service!  😉    I am glad i pointed out on application, I am legally disabled as in prone to find myself a poor match for simplistic jobs and thus with a minimum of legal chance to keep employment.  remember it’s also others being just damn nice. 😉


so.  steps  to goal done next one, next one 200 shifts  with any luck one day at a time.  this is actually a rather big mountain – I’m tired 3 hours in and sissy or not I couldn’t form words correctly when i was half way home and at that pace a half hour to go….half way if that.  I had to have help finishing mopping leaving or we’d not leave swiftly or even on time..  or, just enough of a challenge for me exist here.  why 200 shifts?  come on it’s about that long to cover all my esxpenses/debts twice which is about the point i can reasonably hope I ppay ONE set fully off 😉 or get truly ahead?  nahy break even and paid straight.  it’s a goal like many stated steps to obtain it.


I do have to hope I don’t grey out on b.p. meds that sucked so i got up early so I’d have this problem later in my shift today 😉 or maybe a shot to do better.  now to change the laundry.


purple soup

Purple soup. bumped the bowl so saianara pretty. red cabbage consomme with scallops, shallots, carrot and capers as I couldn’t get hold of salicornia (sea bean) and water chestnut for the radish i actually couldn’t find. also not nearly that picture either but I did try something new.