netflix grip

rom/com for torture’s sake:

last tango in halifax  – a fine show focusing not on just one person’s met after a lifetime away as it was in another bbc offering as time goes by, focuses more on what it really is one more battle in a war of battles of the families and their lives…and how this is all sweet as long as it isn’t taken seriously…go and have your diversion…you WHAT?  it is a lot sweeter than I portray it or you’d skip it for slush….which reminds me man I liked zemi’s before they went all sports nut ….when they were slushies but not frozen slush just an icy sweet water…


many days of boredom while we’ve all packed most for a move.

other offerings were the wrecking crew and muscle shoals for the music history of it…and both are fun but the bb king one was my least favorite when I was hoping it’d be my most fun of the bunch

money for nothing a documentary on the banking/wallstreet debaucles after a five year period and how the toast of the world on economy alan greenspan was more of a panderer and yet, much of how i wish to remember people is still in force and he’s likely to forever associate with the major upswing of better times than anyone of my lifetime even if the worst times are of course likely to not be seeming but more likely his fault.


best of enemies gore vidal v william f buckley jr. comment/debate points of view in 1968 changing how politics gets covered forever with more pundantry and oppinion…but popular stuff none the same  and yet  really did dislike each other.


well my batterie’s low so merry christmas or happy holidays as whichever you’d prefer.


these dreamsss simplistic dream dictionary a-z is available as is my meds so I avoid such dreams 😉  by meds I’d like to note one is vitamin b which I take to lower cholesterol but all the b complex is available to improve vividness and grequency of dreams… but i had a b loaded appetizer for my dinner of stuffed mushrooms and thus i was courting dreams…. and the other meication note is levothyroxine for thyroid hormone replacement that without said leaves me wishing for redemption where there needn’t ever be a call for said as in in one way or another it’s ONE WAY and I’ll fight against that…to whatever avail.  no, the mushrooms weren’t psycho-active! geez just mahi mahi stuffed and breaded mushrooms with a bit of beet root chips in between them with a spring salad greens with ranch atop in the center… ordinary if tasty mushrooms. 😛  now lets dream with someone who begged for it so to speak and got it.


I dream of  a lass i met many years now ago whom had an interesting set of expressive eyes even if through then glasses.  the expression was mostly calm and sometimes quizzing but once in a while a fire.  so I know by age and time passing her mini-me’s would be like her as we can not help imprint ourselves upon others and  imagine first that I’m stuck being set up by these mini yentas to chase mom…which would be again as I know time and they may not…and explaining as nice as I can be that largely we can get along but just about every situation leads to me saying something  to upset this one chase.  I sense just a tad of competition in that somehow I’ve won and that annoys  quite often.  oh! you thought i dreamt in pictures? nope, words or the impressions of them as i rarely hearr the words  but while this means a pictures, this isn’t how i remember dreams most often but as feelings.  so i can not but just sense mom not being some fool not actually or being able as moms often can detect or trick instantly all information … and this is where life gets amusing as i am not in reality any good at doctory shite things but somehow i know the chase is coming as first meetings again can be and out the door i go with one step ahead of ouch coming quick on my heels..only to win for once because someone needs to chase catch and destroy me only to have a lil heart attack on the way…damned convenient for me as magically while i carry no doctoring skill with me persay I do magically have nitrates which I have only taken twice for some test  handy as they’re mega aspirin and can help just long enough…this is to only wonder how that works out later, as memory serves me some this one remembers and doesn’t let go of a thought even in quote near death  chases….so I suppose i know how delicious it is to repeat the reveal of one again safe from the brink only to find a way to indicate come closer come closer for a little something painful just for me.


why do I wonder if people to find the deeper meaning of passion damn near need to die to be with me?


the meade last evening was ambrosial.


why do i know somehow that that particular one was right in a way all along that I really would bother her to death heh  and yet I’d egg on each step?


a little less b vitamins  and a little more thyroid pill seems in order.  and to  the places… dark meeeting room grey toupe carpet like that of a library / church dark wood or wood look structure and  one too many coats of paint white. a chase across only the greenest of lawn.  and somehow it was rather chancy I ended up meeting them all  there yet mom knows everything… real life shows this one ate her cooking and thus isn’t the same size she was but still visibly appears recognizable whereas i lost about 50 pounds since the time I last saw her.  and now to see if i have any meanings to be found – black space ship – I cant carry people movie stle!  and technically I was inside a churchy space…oh and I’m sure I had to have a puff outside…

dream moods doesn’t have a black spaceship reference but does have a black car part under car.  I’m rather lowkey and or boring, to church inside and out means i seek something  remember it’s out from a lass i dated once before from meddling kids 😀 not because I’m not interested but because such isn’t my choice but anothers or anothers as well… cigarettes are mentioned   so combine church seeking which ultimately is to be picked not a tagalong balump a lump whatever, to be chosen in life and remember so far it hasn’t been that way SEEMING 😉 and outside a church is to represent my values yet I’m out smoking which is depency really so my values are dependant… eek  and now for heart attack and green gress 😀

heart attack is loss of love but nothing references offering such up to others 😀   now history being warped rewritten forgetten and what not, I seem to remember I was thought of to be the choice of romance and I remember vividly seeing instantly that there was a interesting thing in progress, it was hell on wheels to get together with me and it always will be lol but in the night on a whim out tthis one would go to a more romantic destination complete with the backrubbing of others to sleep… or it was a tad obvious alas i asn’t the pick and this isn’t to say I was not worthy to be picked oh no, it just seems worth a jealous flash when it’s obvious I’m not chosen… but the language that was no go for me then no friend soon enough was I’m likely to  always say something after being generally sweet and nice that is just devastating …and in general not make the march of together forever but leaving her at the critical moment alone…. now history is limited here but the winner of her next few years did precisely this met at a pubcrawl she investe time into going to not the other way around as i am evil at planning I either do a lot of it or I get zilcho as I’m not always people’s drop everything for kind of guy…  well it appeared after years and a swift move in and remember i never met her children and my magic meet up date was a bit of a seemingly she forgot and showed up in sweats i.e. dressing down even to go out  however she recognize me not the other way around…rather helpfrul really not a skill of mine recognizing blurs persay.   and after there was zilch hope for any “us” we did have a nice group date which was an outting with a variety of couples to celestial seasonings tea company for a tour where due to our company, we didn’t on the tour see each other as most of my friends joining were blind and well it is rude inviting your blind pals to an industrial factory to kill themselves for lack of guidance.  but the ride was nice to and from towns.  I think I managed to say something for her to jokingly swat me for it then hammingly complain for the abuse and heh to get zilch sympathy as you like the abuse 😛 I believe was the response.    shit exposition is a pain.    but it seems I lack only  some grass and I don’t mean marijuanna.

to see grass means there is always something within me I can rely on….. interesting to know what little I know is reliable 😀  but  we’ve covered all I can really say about dream interpretation ….

I have one who has chosen to lose love i can be relied on to be albeit boring but reliable and i do seek sometimes seemingly only by hoping but downplaying in words spoken the meaning I want conveyed, oddly enough this dream relies on her kids not being themselves but that rare only carbon copy saints of children so that and her being lonely or interested back is well duh you can sort life out easy with the history already given I remember because I move to her town soon.  and oddly i’m likely to remember a lot always


…which means I really am picking a life’s goal of forgetting a lot  😉  butshould you wish a heartattack  for the effort of giving me what you can hardly close to what I really have coming or deserve, um, make sure your insurance is current.






Bettin’ On The Generals

let’s me hope I’m not bettin’ on the generals as here i am about to go globet trottin’ from the current town to another and i’m likely to get the place I invested the vast amount of my opinion/time in defending when  other places offer comparible price and far nicer accomadations but can’t touch the one I’m likely to get for location.  yes, the washington generals are an exhibition team travelling with and perennially losing to the harlem globetrotters….the globe tortters have had more fame in late sixties/early seventies times but this streak of losing to the best…the country leaders losing to nyc’s dominance and style? 😉 remains

I’m here for your christmas punishment.  you’ve all likely been very naughty children and otherwise if you’re adult didn’t have near enough fun living!  what follows hopefully  makes one person laugh as I doubt I’ll win a prize for educative tortures of a voluntary kind!   but, lets cover MAP  research.  weee!


pick any place that has map data enough and odds are near anywhere in the world is available for this excercise in christmas punishment.  I can’t get too random as i might inadvertantly pick your city and your home and then you’ll all be weirded out thinking I’m going to staulk your lover or worse YOU.  bad idea 😀  but as any good punishment should include for you learning and choice, I leave this to you to be on the generals or pick your own switch or whatever horrendous misery of participation analogy you’d like to make.


warning. I have read topological maps so if some smart bottom thinks i cant possibly find anything, I warn you I did beter than some in boring things.   but topological map discussion is far more tedius than you think because while it seems you’ve lines everywhere! you really only end up with no freakin landmarks so it’s discussions of the colors of water boring…promise.  and if you pick a mahor town everyone knows of and then expect me to find something t.v. interesting about it you didn’t know….you’re again courtin failure and i may just out of spite invent realms of tedious you’ve never experienced.  or in short pick a place, not too familiar and not too barren of life… and lets get to the fun of boring your with how I think as you all deserve punishment…or you’ll not remain the humble giants you are 😀  and cut me some slack, I don’t easily convert latitude and longitude so try not being some kind of smart ass… it isn’t impossible but it just slows everything down. I doubt any of you can talk about it if you are but I doubt any of your are in research or military situations where such is the language anyways… or sailors aping the mythic jimmy buffet life.




the 2000’s

I remember looking up from books places of fame on earlier versions of the world on the web.  maps were crude but got you there. and yet all i lacked was the reviews.


I’m curious really if you’ve noticed now that most of the reviews for places are snippy if the person wasn’t an instant king or queen in the busiest place …and even then would die if they had to say it’s five out of five stars.  I myself wouldn’t know great service as i tend to miss expressions across a room and other key details of that’s my food in the window getting cold as the waitress stepped out for a smoke anyways…  I mean i miss that stuff.  I also consequently never seem to get the better service even with tipping by reputation.


but right now i am speaking only of map data.  I am moving and have two places to consider honestly, one’s dumpier but close to everything by walking for me a plus and the other is ritzier and next to nothing out in the middle of nowhere in practically a gated community next to a christian college….don’t forget close doesn’t mean score going out but it means i can.  and ritzy while nice doesn’t quite garunttee me much of a date if bus wise my dating life at this far away place ends at 8 o clock or mr curfew child can either walk home across a multi lane highway at night partially influence and wholly blind…. yeah that’s safe. not.


I understand swank and loks well enough that to many they count. but i’ll never drive legally or safely  in any freedom sense. so location tends to count with me.


i may have lived next door to my job once but it was a bitch to haul groceries a mile home through the snow and nothing was closer really than a mile away but that job which was then only a volunteer thing well into me moving elsewhere.  that means it’s about an hour haul to get a coke.  a bit of a pain


I moved to where it was a half mile to a variety of beer shacks and a convenience store or three and  about 10 restaurants.  the grocery was about 1.5 miles away a bit too far to walk with groceries but I did it anyways more than once never having to cab it.  as you can imagine though the job loses it’s luster a case of beer in and six miles home never truly feeling I had a day off as I truly was on call.


I moved to the hills to be on vacation! this ends as the hotel keepers want a better life so i’m moving away. no real gain occurs as no gal pal ride or sense of my needs being met by me really occured here.  I mean it’s sure pretty, but smaller town, the booze shack all of them closed most mondays… great i only seem to want beer on mondays.  😉  or the store for foods is about a dollar more per item than anywhere “in town” as in the big town and even there this place is visibly more expensive.  but ahhhh pretty.


so now I face a town I passed through enough times and the question of is this or that i actually live like close? how close and what do i get to do and so far the answer seems to be everything if the other party throws away 500 bucks in non returnable fee … or nothing if they get the nicer place damn near out of town.  heh.  that’s just a short list of impressions i remember the rest of them back til about 3 years old ish… I just didn’t care about the same things at 3 😀


but it sure is amazing how much I can see on a map save what it’s really actually like.  the halmarks of first hand not offhand info. oh hope against hope that this fancy place is further away from their jobs so I have a prayer of convenience for them to wage a war for my bald self interest 😉 or hope i find a good bloody mary joint for breakfast… because anything after dark beer would be out.


SNOWY Days And Mondays

Karen Carpenter was singing of days and moments that are depressing in that 70’s song about just that and mondays.  it’s misleading here to say i too am depressed about this or that on this monday as I’m very sure it’s snowing out which is worse than rain and that I had to spend time on the phone with jason of salt lake city utah about insurance…. also depressing as tasks go excepting he processed my application for insurance which may go through….all of a sudden, what depression?  what down?  my down is about700 less with insurance than without it…um, smile?


now to get down the street and get a beer and smokes before it’s too cold and dark out  so I can do more dishes.


I warn that I have to wait til christmas mail to get the card and in x days have a seperate call on payment arrangements – I resist having it directly from my monthly check but I might have to as I lost the last damned insurance because of their b.s. about any payment but that kind which means they get paid but I haven’t any rights if it don’t go well.  whatever.  I also have to move counties so that presents a snarl in that each said move is a different plan and no garuntee even if they have the same in another area.  but, it’s still a chance I can sneak most of a start to a year withing one months at a savings.


again toodles, the sky darkens.


out and about

today begins with lazy breakfast and ends with chinese after a spa.  3 pups to go as that was the driving reason to escape town.  I was more interested in the paying off of targett which got closer.


yampa hot springs; Glenwood Springs, CO.  in fairness was a bit of serious sauna-ing as in the warning is 12 minutes and it’s accurate.  however, anyone not aware of what natural hot springs are? – nature’s big fart.  the solarium was peaceful.

more important to me was a visit to target as I can’t get 100 some miles to one to pay them so I was happy only one payment remains and I have emergency fabric gloves for warmer hands.

later was drinks with a work person at what is dinner theater in that town yet the bar was nice and? is it’s web address.  yes, I remember these things a short bit.


dineer was a nice chinese outting that had the under horrors of recycled grease taste and thus goes unmentioned.



I never quite remember the language of music.  you might be inclined to forgive me, as I didn’t exactly get too technical in my musical educations – completing only 2 grades of piano and a number of years to stay able to play anything via the violin kept up during the piano interspersed within much of that time.  yes, I re-took 2 grades of piano…twice..  yippee yada,here’s the extent of a few oddisms as well, to round out where I get to musically…. early me could pick out an elementary opener minus the connective phrase that moves it forward of al stewart’s the year of the cat, and i tend in a simplistic way connect the relative minor/major’s walking a line in an arpeggio of a chord.  I doubt i have the mechanics of chops so to speaking to work asixteenth note phrase/riff .  after 20 years, of not playing, I still remember much of how much i learned to read music…which never was much or me masterful to sight-read from music excepting by faking that after months of picking my way through memorizing much of it..  thanks to a number of years with a violin, I know I can hear fairly close to proper pitch, however I don’t know whether I was always slightly sharp or I lost enough hearing to end up there.  i can not hear me and thus sing no matter modulatives that in a spoken tone make me a decent public speaker.


now as this is re-tuning, I’m not here for me, I’m here for the yummy of bookmarking education!  I know this sounds long but what is a plagal cadence?  yep, listening to the making of aja- an album by steely dan following into donald faegan on peg1/2 and I heard the meention and went hunting – this turns up the best explaination of what a circle of fifth is and  what is usually meant by a relative minor or major…arpeggio is in a way walking through a chord over and over and a touch of gospel sound is covered which makes all of this much more fun to even begin…begin, to grasp… don’t you go thinking I can reproduce past my education and just grok grand sounds, not only am I unlikely to, I wont go sounding particularly artistic about why what means what either.


but when it comes to being atop art, it’s important to understand the vocabulary of art…just as much as it’s important to like the art intrinsically or if it’s not particularly likable art, moves one passionately.  don’t get me wrong, I flunked my art classes as in classic art both of time and by my hands/means art.  only once did i get a “b” ion any particular project mostly c-s and that only after just as many or more f’s.  but, consider it useful to understand the language and or vocabulary of art which allows one to talk art, not oo and ah.  be it the processes of photography classic once and now largely digitally manipulated, or perhaps, painiting which as bob ross might be poorly summarized as saying much of the mastery of painiting is about fifteen pages long….however the passion and executions fill volumes.  Food contrustuction which is from the nineties onward just as heroic a pursuit lately as it wasn’t in time’s past…however again, what can YOU DO with a squeeze-bottled bit of toothpicking about a sauce not onioned but shalloted?… it is about eye-candy, food.  but what about music, the point here?  it too has a language and today i have more to understand within it.  now for a link listing so you can get here you’re own self.  remember, i add some of the old so you can muse over a beer or gallon how to sound cool at rehearsals/or crashing rehearsals 😉 remember, i haven’t played in a generation and never was all that technically advanced to begin with.


arpeggio – disney’s the aristocats.


donald fagan peg part 1/2 discussing a plagal cadence which touches gospel sound.


covering again, tonics… no, not gin&tonics!  why is this about as entertaining as russian roulette with no finale?  but, without demonstration, it’s alllll for naught.

I can’t find the schroedinger /schlessinger or whoever helped influence glenn miller and duke ellington with a mathmatic formulaic style of mathmatic construction… but whateer, such are my winds of time.   and for reasons of

being fair, inbetween this joy of what and whom, we’ve a marty freiman / steve lukather thing about the two playing the other’s signature stuffs… this was inbetween  mustaine which starts it all off but not with what I was after which was something on blues chords…. but i didn’t find that either only some yaya on why he fired so many in megadeth which was a tad understandable ….then again not – remember, such is who was fired from metallica for being too much a partier…. anyways. enough of that you can look that up if you want on your own… the only thing left to mention really is style and a very singular instance is bruce horsby guesting on bonnie raitte’s i can’t make you love me.  sometimes it just needs a stylistic flavor.



Hiding The Cliffs

it’s been a good part of the week since I worked last.  sis informs me I must follow current advice and divorce my thoughts from what isn’t to be any longer as in hashtag – move on!.  so, let’s try to be a touch better at hiding the cliff-face or let’s try to sound more centered and upbeat with the NEWS! – the glorious news.


I did pretty much one load of laundry.  I tried a new beer or two, I am invested in consuming this summer sausage, I filed bills with checks to paid in full them all or at least close, I misremembered my sears balance 22 cents short for instance…oops -who in this life remembers the pennies as much?  I am set for my delayed night of cooking dinner as tonight I was preempted for beef straganoff when the best I was considering was chicken/bacon afredo which is tomorrow night  so to speak now.  not a big list really.  the only cliff so to speak is the beer, oi.  not consuming booze for  a good six weeks of a serious slowdown means russian imperial stouts night is a short night…blasted one was 10.2 abv which hits like about a delicate brick.


left-hand brewing’s wake up dead was one of the offerings as single bottle 3/19 listed each but as wine pricing and strength goes, to is about what a bottle of wine would be and 6.8 a bottle not a bad cost for said bottle of equivalence wine.  beer tastes wise it’s like any craft beer to me, not smooth and sludgy due to less filtration, meaning that this as any dark beer with coffee in, can be bitter as hell and chewy.


the next offering was lion stout.  all I can say was this stuff was a true blessing after the left hand seriously something or other above, but remember one beer above is half a bottle of wine so I wasn’t exactly doing well for remembering.


for reasons that should be obvious, after these beers it was an obligatory nap time for to all the third another day.


the second time around I had one last to try and that was dry dock *known more to me as an apricot beer maker that’s fairly good) signature series imperial stout which wasn’t a  12 oz. bottle but a big ol thing and twice the cost of the others. i.e. it was roughly a pint and cost 12 bucks in these high climbs.  however while I cant get out to the stores as much and f- wine all the time, you’ll understand a beer moment.  now dry dock’s imperial stout is a barrel aged offering and both smooth and tasty.  it had the note of woods as you’d expect which didn’t clash with the coffee tones and while thick as beers go, it wasn’t f-in chewy/gritty.  or in short, wow. yum.   and of course there was no beer the next day as I’d like to remain unpickled once in a while…as no offense, stouts are brickish brutes of beers.  and I just don’t think I could pair that with a chicken bacon alfredo do up.


now, I can’t garuntee all my images will show, but you have each beer listed with one and also how they pour.   it isn’t much of a revelation I like the more spendy one but that it required more than was in the bottle so ultimately it isn’t a frugal pick … lefthand while not my favorite managed to be quite enough.. the lion stout was surprisingly sneak up sweet..but nothing touches the uncious or otherwise delight of dry dock imperial stout. lion was two something a bottle or ordinary prices even for a single. to clear that point up.


you can now understand how I come honestly to the summer sausage?  I suppose the last thing of the 2 weeks left up here to find out about are?

I would like a shot at  making a good something – so since all I had bought for was chicken bacon alfredo/linguigni….I got some vegetable… stuff to make zuchini au gratin but with smoked provolone versus mozzerella.  I know this sounds odd, trying deliberately to be more bland /simple yet everyone can fall in love with the complex! yet even I want one to enjoy my efforts!

I look forward to 3 weeks of spending 2 hundred or less which gives me a shot at starting next month able to move and restart insurance as if this years sins didn’t happen 😀

I can’t think of any beer I’m dying to try so I may be safe to finish out this month of more restricted consumption due to meds.

about the only thing I look forward to making is a slowcooker  something just to say I did so-I’m thinking as I have the stuff for it mainly- mexi-night which means that’s less I have to schlep to the next place.

I suspect I’m moving to colorado springs colorado nearer civilation so to speak where from what i remember of all my visits and time there are: empire asian buffet for the wow in chinese there plus there is a decent buck a scoop in an old taco bell I believe… red hot and blue bbq while spendy and a touch repeatably corporate is damn fine memphis if you wish style bbq.  a town with a target store for the love of christ!…if you think I’ve softened on that unmentionable for hashtag reasons place I no longer work for…um, no not really but I would like a sloppy hug from wink wink leer.gloria jean’s coffee which while you understqand a bigger town has plenty of starbucks or even independant offerings like pikes peak perk… sometimes you want a yummy pot at home a bit of maybe swiss double chocolate with some bad for you confections mmmm, and a town with a tobacco shop not a pre packaged smoker friendly albeit I like this town’s one – I adored walking into honeysuckle peach cavendish dripping fresh…even if I smoke a pipe every couple of years….  Iknow that’s a limited amount of knowledge but add to it I’ve taken their bus systems all about town I can literally hop a local and then a greyhound and be away!  I can’t say it’s like denver but it’s good enough to wait out my taxes and what’s to come of sis moving forward to a military lifestyle if that’s to be yet she already wins for giving  all notice that they are leaving… let’s hope they make this stick, that’s of course not my choice and as usual the opening salvo have sounded and now the reutrn music comes in of a staff ready to abandon empty the place so their leaving is thardest possible seeming…  I already left, I felt my only lifeline was threatened so as I looked around and saw I wasn’t screwing anyone really over except myself if I stayed with negativities and resentment… I left  for beer and indolence so far but why shouldn’t I enjoy myself? :Dor two there


in the galactic soup

into the galactic soup I go again.  for those following me on my pitiful daily life streamer of facebook, much of this is not new information but, I:

moved to the mountains themselves of colorado 9.18.16

Iwent to the hospital after what became my new doctor in town 9.21.15 or was it 9.22?

I changed my addresses with most people official 9.22 or was it 9.21?

I filed for work on the 9.22 filling out two applications first to the local mega liquor store and was given the you’ll be waiting lack of interest looks which led me to walk over to the walmart and apply mainly to say I applied two places, not one.

I began my job on 10.16 which means knowing I leave here with certainty about christmas or it’s next day without any possible hope of making 90 days at the place so i left 12.5 leaving not much notice but as they had 2 others one part part time but not wanting that – to have more hours just in time for xmas.

I asked a workplace maybe romance directly out and was directly not accepted of the offer- thus surviving the worst the fear that stops one from trying  even if it didn’t pan out.  yes there was another spark later but then it was clear too that it was just workplace better not romance imminant when the same banter was to another.

I walked 18 hour more a week for six weeks never letting the third day elapse without exercise on that scale- I didn’t get a direct win in medical improvements like a free pass, but I did stablize more than I have been in years. I also can do that much consistantly as i haven’t had that kind of sustained activity since early highschool when I wanted to play football.

I began reading again for the first time in many years finally reading more than I have in years already.

I didn’t have the luck of maintaining access to my old cycles of bills/living so i surely lost a point off my credit score or it’ll arrive soon enough, however, Idon’t make the majority of my money in the normal ways so I can’t obtain more credit easily anyways and I’m fairly well to that limit now… so, while I get to start the next year with a few dollars more than I ever ever ever have had,  I probably paid dearly for that temporary gain.  however I took a risk set to get to here and tried at many risky things I don’t try after usualy….however the secret life of this walter mitty is a torid love affair at a place I largely despise to be at and my experience to date largely hasn’t altered that perception.and I’m a closet healthy person? ew.

I did drink new tea here in that I got a stash brand sunshine orange spice and mixed that brew with kroger sugar free hazelnut creamer to a delightful if you care about teas like me way.

I let more people moulder and do not feel guilty about it, however a few have let me moulder too so in general the heavy if shallow interactions of many years now turn back into quietudes and the hope I didn’t pay for my chances more dearly than if I hadn’t tried at all.

I of course managed not to really cook much but by the same token, I have cooked the afore mentioned crab rangoon, tried a dipping sauce that’s magic even if the seared tuna it was then for wasn’t, made huge huge meatballs and then normal bland as possible by my standards ones thus, effectively setting last entirely year before this adventure on it’s ear for trying new things not involving beer or wine.

I even tried tempranillo wine for the first times /grades and a shiraz/cabernet  thus improving up here what I’ve truly tried in wines new to me over the entire year before it/here.


I ask you if this list alone sounds to you like I’m desperately trying to justify what feels like a failure none the same on all the critical fronts?I can easily swim in he blues that my health didn’t magically restore while here and even with quiting drinking and walking loads loads more….not surprising really, smoking and the days off indolence are that damaging and all my life I knew it was the small but daily sustained improvement that got me my prizes…however I have taken risks and that spirit of trying doesn’t have to be lost even if this residence is nearly complete and caput.    I leave here with some issues worth caution still as in that I didn’t find shangrila here even if i do have to laughingly point out I have had to live on a schedule to make work of being up at ….five-fifteen a.m. which is? a song by mark knopler off his shang ri la album!


I can’t say I found fabulously new music up here as I haven’t but maybe found a few tunes I didn’t know from the same old artists I’ve perennially liked and actually probably have heard before but maybe just now caught the vibe for.


I approach moving ” back home” heh with the notions that friendliness isn’t friends and no amount of nice means inclusion for which I still must be similar to others on a fundamental level or useful as I understand such in those terms… this means in a limited way moving here has me reexamine older useless modes of thinking I thought I’d grown past but as I was around again for new/scratch? I had to relive….  I point out I was useful as in I was good at meeting 30 people a day with a simple thank you for shopping with us….but


I also just as impishly point out that never ever ever once did I ever make dress code as it was explained to me while working there after my first day seeing my other new to the company trainee dressed down for his sins against the same dress code on our first day of training.  I’m still impish.  I still am rebellious. I’m still for some magical reason all my choices me.  not always do I like the results either but not always do I care either 😉


I’m thus back into the galactic soup….again.  when I return I have enough to move as i said, I wont longterm have the means to move twice so i have to consider a job or lottery win of some variety and most importantly not be tied to the place with contractual commitments binding me to the point his experience just was a restbit from the usual.  I know the WILD hope which is far more foolish save to the heart/soul is to leap into a reasoned further adventure elsewhere adventuring.  so now that you read the above, consider

I’m not a fan of snow after walking in the night’s ink sledging shopping carts while it did it’s nature’s best.  I haven’t seen all of the usa so I should do so as I would like to.  I can’t afford traditional short term vacationing persay so I can just up and move somewhere and milk something of it.  while I can not afford everything I  know I can instantly afford many of the states i haven’t seen and none of these gems are either rich thusly expensive to live in impossible somehows but very much viable to manage providing I carefully weigh out location for reduced crime and other bumer in my summer of living requirements.


so, this means upper new england is out – snow.  same with northdakata and montana both snow and too f-ing cold. nevada isn’t snowy really but I don’t wish to live in a gambling town either.  so this leaves the entire nearly deep south of the usa open to me as it is neither predominantly rich thus too spendy to live in and doesn’t threaten snow..mud perhaps but not snow.


so I have seen texas not however lower texas or any of it’s coast.  this leaves a place like brownsville texas open as it’s on a border with exploring mexico which is at night mostly so as to arrive anywhere on time….and most of my horror tales are broad daylight horrors so not too seedy or ritzy travel is perhaps possible.

I never have been to louisianna, thus while I adore spices as a rule, I surely can find some of that there and ultimately I fit in being somehow hampered in pursing dreams for any real or percieved and thus made real reasons…however, I’m still hootier about respecting people more openly dishonestly perhaps but appearances wise than I have ever seen come from any louisiannan that I have met – that would irk the crap out of me sinking into a lower standard of behaviour.

arkansas – I haven’t either seen this state and it has more bbq than louisanna so while aligator would be snapped away, I would not exactly starve. mmm however again, the danger is again closed vistas of the life as no state in the deep south seems to show a state’s worth of wealth just that some become kings/queens.

mississippi the poorest ever of any usa state has fine chicken and tupelo honey as van morison sung of the latter as a metaphor likely to a girl.I am not enamored of the blues but some bbq exists as does all the classics of souther outlook and while the poorest perhaps has the least issues trying to be more knowing it isn’t…if anyone is from mississppi, you’ll just have to remember I’m from colorado and otherwise like most people just as full of it somewhere’s else.  then there is lesser towns of alabama as it’s craziness to go rural for me but too city is too expensive too.

georgia has atlanta and even a splash of coast so it would offer some chance to lesser town and then explore but likely costs more for said.

south carolina is rishest in history of any state mentioned however being at the very end of the line of states to explore it’s the least geographically desirable having no mexico or anything tantilizing anywhere close and remember I know nothing other than movies which are falsehoods and tv sitcom mostly of anything about it another gross distortion sitcoms.


but such is a list I almost list them in order too, save tupelo mississippi seems the most fun dart at the board in that it’s got more chances to visit more varied sights than any other place and offers the best chances to find my situations.  i remember too that I just don’t hear of roving gang activity there… I’m sure they have the urban or whatever blights of modern life… it just don’t see it as a rager of a party town.  it’s not where any major writers hail from nor any foodies visit or hail from so aside from an old singer, I’m pretty much golden to waltermitty or garsh be real like me! and success or not as luck and efforts dictate.  one things for sure, i stand out anywhere I am 😀  you knew it was me writing this before you were through the first paragraph too…. even if you cheated and or failed to decipher these were actual words.

now in truth I know I’m liable to have a job and a living arrangement that moves no further than down the road from my mother and all of this nonsense above is pipedreaming cash down or shut up…. but but it’s still fun to think and dream as even that long 20 minutes you blew reading this was hours of blissful meaning within me to muse. I win either way.  just like i also lose some either way still least it’s nice for this hot second to feel more of the winning….or plucking myself right back up out of that galactic soup to not be the dinner of no one cares about dinner til the miss the next one.  wait!

that sounds like i failed to lose all my pessimism!…in the soup again!