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I got me a parody…

I got me a parody… I got me a mercury…crazy about a mercury…

I have a few parodys going… one that blows so it’s buried in here simply to show the bestest ideas do not come off always.  One subject is the likely USA 2016 presidential canidates…I fully admit I hoped I’d get some help in areas I know I donot do well with, like what is relvant in how most view others… so I researched like a demon and came up with…poop. Another subject is mom wantedto curl daughter’s straight hair…this is the style that should not be! so a metallica parody… and of course, I have a lot of puppies currently but no, this isn’t dead puppies in the hall – died late last fall…but one of MOMMA’s exploits with other than the usual WISE care-takers… sneak theif swiped a steak and probably two cpork chops s owner momma laughed saying she’s a surfer girl… a counter surfer.

I admit now I usually attempt to get an accurate lyric model and a matching version of the original song  and thus pray it’s close enough to meter and maybe it makes sense… but I may fail.  it’s meant to be fun…and trust me, why not laugh?  Some of the songs or artists are laughable just as so are my efforts.

Counter-Surfer Girl
(for those unused to Canine Cunning)
This is modeled after the Beach Boys, “Surfer Girl”


Little ‘Surfer, Dinner’s gone
$30 in Steaks swiped is so wrong
…Do You love me, I’m your ‘Surfer Girl
‘Surfer girl, my Counter-Surfer girl.
I am going broke at the store
and suck at the ‘guarding counters’ chore
…Do you love me, I’m your ‘Surfer Girl
‘Surfer Girl, ‘Surfer Girl
I might share if you’d let it
but all on the counters you did mow
I’ll not afford a Yugo if your appetite grows
…I just ate two dinners without one chew
…Do you love me, I’m your ‘Surfer Girl.
‘Surfer Girl, my Counter-Surfer Girl
damn
‘Surfer Girl, my Counter-Surfer Girl
damn
‘Surfer Girl, my Little? ‘Surfer Girl

Curled, quite colorfully
to Metallica’s The Thing That Should not be
 

curlers and more tears tonight
fashion’s receptions are a blight

darling children want to be
appearing as anything but what they be

Ungodly Stench, Calamities
instant damnation should you not compliment me
Just one chance – to be the night
Pain’s movement, hairdresser is deriding

for fashion’s fortune we swim Hell
 
thine hair, an ungainly mound
now for agony, the only sound

only one chance to impress
dog food failure or elegance
 

Ungodly Stench, Calamities
instant damnation should you not compliment me
Just one chance – to be the night
Pain’s movement, hairdresser is deriding for fashion’s fortune, we swim Hell

for compliments we swim Hell

Wait for it, await the sound one maybe mention did it resound?
hours agony and a gold mine spree so straight’s curled quite colorfully

Ungodly Stench, Calamities
instant damnation should you not compliment me
Just one chance – to be the night
Pain’s movement, hairdresser is deriding
for fashion’s fortune we swim Hell

We Don’t Represent America, Anyone.

to Neil Diamond and Barbara Steissand’s “You don’t send me flowers anymore.

again, this one isn’t checked or edited as it was a start towards working with things I suck at with others but alas, sometimes we haven’t the time or maybe I think only in the English others know as confusing.  Bearnie Sanders isn’t done yet but it’s fairly apparent he’s not the democratic heir apparent now..oh well.

Student Loans are a Millstone about their Necks

Why not expand what we’re already offering

-Why is the government even profiting

-change the rules – this is SHOCKING

But will this be news when WE legislate?

 

Expand Obama Again

Illegals need a proper pathway ‘s all

-all Illegals out let’s build us a wall

America has some kind of blight

Well I’m/I’m here to solve it for you

all the while lining the right pocket tight

Embrace the huddled masses and poor No build a wall and lock us in tonight.

We don’t represent your America, Anyone

Student Loans made you sore now carbon tax fever

global warming gonna be’s save tomorrow forevermore

-yet such is more taxes the IRS wolf at your door

so we keep our American way

Baby, I’m my campaign’s biggest lender

but I’m here for the America that used to be

more taxes only make us chaffed more whiners to feed the bills High Let’s Shut off the tit

Either way kiss your America, bye bye

and for we will Earn all the glory and a paycheck HIGH

We Don’t Represent America but number one.

And yet agree to hell with the Bearn!

we’d bid adieu – yes, bye bye!

We’re for other interests, America forevermore.

=

anyways, I had me a wasted day trying to research current relevant political stances of Hillary and trump I had a few lines how neither trusts or empowers blacks but whatever… either way none of that last works…I don’t know how to grab what resonates because biased I am, gee, guess who I LIKE…but whatever, I tried to get actual quotes/stances and somewhat cohesively non resonatingly flubbed the idea…rats.  not all of these bright ideas is in fact bright 😉

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What got YOU when?

Warning, Not Safe For Work

videos contain mature or at least corporately  untoward content like language in happyweed which is about consumptions and contains cussing as one dies””  I think i neglected  Pirates gold Dos which you can search for as it’s a 30 minute crappily played demo.  it however offers what modern versions do not- a chance to spend a pleasant evening with a barmaid… so as i say, this may not pass muster with your corprate veiwing.

0

I can not post all offerings as the mysts of time make one nearly impossible to find.  like night sky full of stars… it translates these days as sky full of stars… stars being ladies and yet my particular game was pubescent boy naughty not today’s outright adult erotic.  hence even if I find the old gems sometimes it’s no longer the same.  just like good luck finding elf bowling of any offering without a virus.    if you play phoenix, the super secret bonus is hitting all three of the decenders with clean shots…crap it’s something like that anyways it’s like a super secret 200K points and you could spend all day trying to do better with a freak one play move.

along the ways:

HappyWeed 1.2 a pre 603e or g2 mac game, Enigma freeverse software now sold out and this stuff far too old to be worried about.

’96 cowboy casino

one of the products I had a brief privilege to support

 

’99 elf bowling 2! 😀

https://sp.yimg.com/xj/th?id=OIP.M107c7d4fe57273d0098ce0a8780a7f5aH0&pid=15.1&P=0&w=300&h=300

’02 itsyourturn.com Pente

’05 pirates via then Myspace games

’08  night sky full of stars – hentai click and keep clicking game

https://sp.yimg.com/xj/th?id=OIP.Md36fb900a31f5e9b1f9c591a49a9de9co0&pid=15.1&P=0&w=300&h=300

’11 Ubuntu! reversi

 

’14 senet  online

http://www.kongregate.com/games/BulemicHippo/senet

==

fun

http://www.free80sarcade.com/phoenix.php 000 old arcade game online minor instructions in french who cares its fairly easy to click and play.

Leather one of the text games on an old dos box i had, heh… naughty.

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Servin’ It Up.

http://plato.stanford.edu/entries/respect/

Earlier, a fine someone listed a logic for the dismissal of the other side of a topic’s opinion/stance.  Such Prompts this above link to be sought out.along with an old song lyric,

“It’s still the same old story
A fight for love and glory
A case of do or die. ”

As Time Goes By – © 1931 Warner Bros. Music Corporation, ASCAP

http://www.reelclassics.com/Movies/Casablanca/astimegoesby-lyrics.htm

The notions that only my side counts is bothersome.  Personal awareness speaks to a polarization of sides upon a topic of which are so strongly held people would cheer for the fight to the death over – if only it was someone else doing the fighting.    So issues, they persist til enough of one side lives and dies for the other to change in political esteems, numbers.  To Trivialize this topic as it deserves to be trivialized, it would seem like a Cola war – I grew up to believe Coke as in Caca-Cola was “it” and Pepsi to rhyme it wrongly was “shit.”  However, before I was born, Pepsi made it’s inroads into my daily life choices and appropriate marketing moves to?  outpace the sales of Coke and worse, prove in a national test the very value of their product, a function of taste just as much as it was also brand loyalty was actually prefered over it’s rival’s offering.  This amuses me to no end now that as Cola had it’s Cemtiru in the sun, energy drinks return to begin to change social consciousness via cold hard sales along with bottled water as we culturally want to wake up with health and pep and Soda is no longer percieved to hep with that.  Or, I lived long enough to notice, times change as do opinion.

yet the backlash is that it will take a generation or more to see how the notions play out or if indeed it is a mute point.

Is Coke it?  I think it soon shant matter that technically by sales and popular opinion that I am actually wrong…

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2 bit recycler

I haven’t now the patience for this,  as I’ve 20 xome still to go and even then have a bit of tidy-lines to maybe not let it look a complete hash of words…  but beneath is what to do on a prompt… take the old and remake it anew…. heh cloggin up my inbox lol ain’t that the truth detritis said  and word memories, I read it once so shut the hell up PLEASE. :D…

today’s prompt let’s try a mash-up. You should so far have xx poems. Using the poems you’ve written this month, write a new poem using a line from each poem. It could be the first line from each, the last, the fifth, or a random one. Line them up and write a poem from there. Perhaps looking back you will notice…

Day 25 Poetry Challenge

 

karma has that wolfish smile of satisfaction

karma’s wolfish smile satisfied and pleased

the gun metal gloom, winter spits at spring.

https://wordpress.com/post/almondcoffeed.wordpress.com/9947

or sonnetized never sanitized for my protection.

 

just echoes pelmeni perhaps or borscht

echoes pelmeni, or perhaps one borscht

https://wordpress.com/post/almondcoffeed.wordpress.com/9796

two locomotive
shells and five more souls
purified from life

locomotive shells and more souls now pure.

poetrydump1.rtf, may ’11’s  “8.02.85” a poem from a headline/news story, part of that era’s poetry scavenger hunt (5th) … of that specific doughnut church lass via then xanga.com

08.02.1985

picture from: wacohistoryproject.org
There, the altar Hope
assends, spiraling
two locomotive
shells and five more souls
purified from life
Just before sunset
one gravel mover
close to clear sailing
put tthe hammer down
here comes hell’s sunshine
This ain’t no special
we are so scheduled
We’re the ev’nin freight
we’ll make our next break
heaven equals three
Is it worth one more?
to be pencil pushed?
one more wagged finger?
toasted s’mores roadside?
a trainer’s punchline?
Wreck Survivable
protocalls ignored
coffee and doughnut
Your lives tossed asside
too few fucking died.
You dropped the highway
hospitalized some
called for over-time
made my biggest sound
made rushing a sin
Bet you’d rather life
Guess what Blue Collars?
You suspected knives
“ain’t my fault!” hollers
You made New York Times
Sev’n fourty pee em
Around a blind curve
you said, “c’mon baby,
grab hold LOCK&SQUEAL”
it took all you had.

http://wikimapia.org/1745541/1985-Train-Wreck-location

Click to access R85_13_15.pdf

25 January 2011
Strange TROLLS
Dementors in the night/strangers in the night.

Dementors in the night – circlin’ softly

hunting victims in the ink, aloft see

watch out they don’t suck your soul with a kiss

hunger for the fright alight in your eyes
the body soon cold after haunting cries
whispered light passing you lips – your life is THROUGHHHHH

Dementors in the night
cold death and cruel, Dementors of your fright
watching for that’s soul’s glow it’s so easy for you to go
don’t wait for the day, sneak out and give your life away.

don’t you think you’re clever
death’ll find you no matter the weather
souls are dinner for Dementors in the night.

boo whoo whoo whoo and other taunts til the end….

source and sing along
http://images.search.yahoo.com/images/view?back=http%3A%2F%2Fimages.search.yahoo.com%2Fsearch%2Fimages%3Fp%3Ddementors%26ei%3DUTF-8%26fr%3Dmoz35%26fr2%3Dtab-web&w=1280&h=1024&imgurl=harrypotter.warnerbros.com%2Fhogwarts%2Fdarkarts%2Fmed%2Fwallpapers%2FdarkArts3a_Wall.jpg&rurl=http%3A%2F%2Fwww.hpana.com%2Fnews.18002.html&size=180KB&name=Bonus%3A+Dementors…&p=dementors&oid=60287931e546c0283a68aaffcb910946&fr2=tab-web&no=10&tt=5420&sigr=114e8un9m&sigi=12fpssfm5&sigb=12m6bcoun&.crumb=ESVHJvzH844
http://www.lyricsfreak.com/f/frank%2Bsinatra/strangers%2Bin%2Bthe%2Bnight_20056148.html

I have blue eyes…but be glad i can’t sing
, but Frank could and you could check my meter now through

—~~6@

watching for that’s soul’s glow it’s so easy for you to go

watching your soul glow, it’s easy to go.

cheats the meaning now doesn’t it?  one is I’ll suck your soul dry for you to die the other, you’re a dull bitch , I’m leaving! 😀   but whatever 😀

 

as you can see, rtf doesn’t cleanly format nor does .txt.

but I ain’t sniffin’ a brimstone breeze

Yes!, I lament my best snubbed cold

but if I time stamp once to many more even I’ll be gettin’ rolled

 

all the best snubbed yet, time-stamp   and be rolled

same 1.25.11 thing…

 

Cloggin’ up my inbox/smokin in the boys room

(Spoken)
Ain’t it gettin’ Stale out there?

y’ever go looking for that person you don’t read often and then have to click 7 pages after 2 minutes go find them again because Time-stamping hogs suck the soul right out of the new?

Y’know It used to bother me. But you know what there’s another way. So get your eggs ready.

(Sung)

Looking around my inbox,

– who’s smoking what bag?

Re-reading yestermonth’s crap is a f-in’ drag

What the hell, I’m can foam and rue

can’t beat ’em or join ’em but this much is true

 

Cloggin’ up my inbox

Cloggin’ up my inbox

now Butt-Stain, once or twice could have been cool

But 500 times a day just is “EW!”

 

crabbed out about those stats

– prayin’ for double or tripple more

update to current time click,

you click click bore

oh wouldn’t it be a sight?

MY blog front page tonight

Never mind my fellows – my words are dyn o MITE!

 

Cloggin’ up my inbox

cloggin’ up my inbox

yes turd-worder, you’re right on cue

you time-stampin’ fool

Eat it.

Sure, its all about degrees

but I ain’t sniffin’ a brimstone breeze

Yes!, I lament my best snubbed cold

but if I time stamp once to many more even I’ll be gettin’ rolled

for cloggin’ up your inbox

but you’re cloggin up my inbox

attention whorin,’ screech upon screech

stop being such a fucking leach

 

cloggin’ up my inbox

cloggin’ up my inbox

time-stamping Jewel,you’re just a squishy stool!

clicking, not creativity is your ONLY tool.

source and sing-a-long

http://images.search.yahoo.com/images/view?back=http%3A%2F%2Fimages.search.yahoo.com%2Fsearch%2Fimages%3Fp%3Dant%2Band%2Bthe%2Baardvark%26ei%3Dutf-8%26y%3DSearch&w=400&h=565&imgurl=fc08.deviantart.net%2Ffs51%2Fi%2F2009%2F326%2Fd%2F6%2FThe_Ant_and_the_Aardvark_by_Evanatt.jpg&rurl=http%3A%2F%2Fevanatt.deviantart.com%2Fart%2FThe-Ant-and-the-Aardvark-144404084%3Fqj%3D1%26q%3Dsort%253Atime%2Bfavby%253Amojokingbee1%26qo%3D379&size=97KB&name=The+Ant+and+the+…&p=ant+and+the+aardvark&oid=d8a46fecff052a2fdea910e43e55300c&fr2=&no=7&tt=2860&sigr=13jluul8e&sigi=12f5otlct&sigb=12ltf7a52&.crumb=ESVHJvzH844

http://www.lyricsondemand.com/onehitwonders/smokinintheboysroomlyrics.html

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randomly continues

r…c…. yeah, I like cola

 

alright it’s time for a reason for pictures,  the pic: Kola Nut- which oddly is no longer the main source for cola flavor as it’s artificially flabored these days for the majority of beverages Cola.  a coke of the world photo with basic market changes – and because if it’s pepsi or coke, coke damn it.  however i like r.c. more.  no, i wouldn’t know my arse from my elbow blindfolded anymore just like anyone else statistically speaking…remember coke lost huge to pepsi and launch the biggest debaucle of modern life times with new coke…as the world spoke and said by taste pepsi was superior but not by tradition!… and a modern graphic of consumption changes  where by drink mix and sodas  even Juices are shit out of the market compared with energy drinks bottled water actual booze? and wines.  the explaintion of this will be obvious after stumbling over where craig fergusson moved onto after he like most were at an instant not the hot ticket when succession times came in tv…. history channel and chat with a bit of a participatory bite.    this clip is about which drug impacts history the most?  Alcohol and coffee lose?  utter bullshit in my oppinion… but I posit that cola didn’t even get a effing mention?  really?

 

okay, here’s my clip beef… a: I haven’t checked if i can catch the show as i do not subscribe to cable tv… b: alcohol 3400 b.c. egypt/beer  in general water unsafe wine/beer or death…um wine beer please… artifact evidence says such literally was life.  but they have a point it is not changes life.  but next coffee- as it doesn’t exist in any form till some naughty goat got high eating some berries… yet is even today the largest commodity in terms of dollars/money in general period… coffee is mornings and continues to influence- anyone remember the starbuck’s revolution?    i mean coffee impacts the world daily and still hugely.  but i can conceed that topically speaking coke as in cocaine not coca cola be it originally infuse with coca leave extractives or not nowadays… it just is that what? hunh then normal? kingpens vying for literal leadership of nations?  yeah… even coffee didn’t produce a from coffee world leader recently or otherwise.     but anyways,

pacman, iPhone macDonald’s, brands you know – well soda is on the way to the grave as dominant just part of the world ordinary..other things superseed it now.  it would take a miracle for soda to make a comeback now.  do you have an opinion on what drug changed the world?

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Unlucky you.

as with the previous offering of the 13th of luck…ever so witty that… I’m still bored.  I don’t know why.  I’m hungry yet made a cup or so of coffee instead.  and in general am feeling opposite on just about everything.

 

The Africa Map was my pull up as i knew I missed a number of countries on it as I simply do not have current use for trivia and after a time it rusts like all memories.  now unlike some folk i have a variety of checksums.  because i suppose i’m bored or I knew I would forget and this time i didn’t want to.  what time? make sense please?  I mean in childhood i knew i had the ability to hear 20 number strings and remember them as in 2 or three credit card’s worth of numbers and some contact info  as i had roughly 40 minutes reliable retention befor ethings had to be learned as a longer term memory… i can not see well so do not know how to order a picture in ways foreign to my thoughts or uses logical but i’m probably as close in childhood to having a picture perfect memory without developing a picture perfect memory. I knew emotionally speaking that you are better off forgetting.  unlike the admonition to forgive but don’t forget, the best i can do is forget as acceptance sure ain’t my strong set of skills.  so i came to this conclusion based almost to a sentence that of course i cant remember but it was like an abc today show or similar thing where  a speed reader was shown.  I thought that was the neatest thing as then I really wouldn’t have to do shit in school as i would be like king tut mow through a library of books… please understand that leaving highschool i left with 32/35 english in act’s I literally then as now do not understand my actual language mechanics well but you will never miss who is writing to you and i do fairly well with reading retention obviously…. but the sentence that killed this pursuit dead was that the speed reader now never connected to the material any longer and thus the enjoyment of books was absent, it was simply a chore or task to do…mow through a book regurgitate.  fuck that no thanks!  it was a long time before silence of the lambs showed sketches from memories in vivid detail and other savant type memories beyond mine were shown to simply see if not forever and how this horror usually was lasting and devastating to acceptance yet i at least suspected that such was true and then began learning that while useful as memory is, there is suspicions.. like eavesdropping for info remembered long enough to disenfranchise folks… and the concept of parroting as a 2 year old or bird is actually comic and not respected so while late to learn social values as i’m not 8 at this point in second gradce but 9 -14 learning very slowly and of course ostracized all the while- I can easily tell you it was no blessing to be me none and lacking 30 years or any hint of what makes others uniquely successful and wanting to “fit in” I never took up speed reading or learning how to work a picture for clues or in general why remembering a lot is in fact quite useful indeed!  so f that and i didn’t.  add to this outright anger as this comes in with puberty heh so even more ostracization via intemperant behaviour within the already difficult… but again this is about memory mine is rusting as anyones will –  the knowledge of how much and when is checksummed to a point – but I only keep it so long.  thank GOD!  no blasphemy there either.  so i see there is x amount of countries and i name x minus checksum total I’m short.  this is very much like kurt vonegut daffodile17 or whatever in whatever of his books where everyone had a a name and number and the 13 club was quite exclusive!  and also his mention of mnemonics which is also partially how i learned to order memories and more powerfully remember and index them.  so even in blonder moments I can swiftly parrrot the right stuff!  disrespected or not.  and thus africa map and i’m spotting margor capitals and or cities… and voila? moroni comoros islands above madagascar off the south eastern african continent.  moroni as in angel moroni the provider of the revelation Mor(M!)on or central to LDS beliefs?

https://sco.wikipedia.org/wiki/Moroni,_Comoros

yes.  and isn’t it so stereotypical of you with me in English speaking as a first language or main one at least- how snobbish it is?  this artical is not in but pigeon of some variety and already I count off a zillion respect points and i.q. points and stamp foreigner third world useless save for exploitation.   did you know all it took was ceety instead of city to do this?    if anyone wonders why i do not often try to edit, it’s laziness but hopefully sometimes also proof of the point i am smart as shit despite the lack of editing and such is a trap of stereootypical disregaurd of others.

 

but by the same token i read the article above as in scanned it and it was the same word- ceety that gave away the legitimacy of pigeon or whatever one calls it English used.  just as one can read a children’s tale such as Sundiatta and understand it’s purpose is historic and it is viable to transmit information orally versus the waste of books/paper/whatever…however it would be far more limited a source of information.

 

such is how I can waste an hour and wish I didn’t turn off the coffee i want more and i probably should both edit the above and make my soup before it’s too late to prior to dinner times.  but… unlucky you.  by the way, i forgot six countries and 4 additional placements within my memory of africa… or 20% in 9 years. or once learned i’m still fairly likely to be different than most – an average college grad hardly reads by thirty and is unlikely to even work within the general discipline/field studied in ten years from graduating.  I didn’t graduate as i have this thing against memorizing for specific questions versus actually knowing information… so I lack the math to do most college paths, no, not all…and haven’t the passion for much of anuything that isn’t requiring math or improve with some as work… or you can get me tutored through college requirements of this I’m still sure 7 years retention above standard average grade level performance is enough time to manage college past the subjects I’m shit at and patch what’s needed of that mystery to salvage a job and pray I’m stable enough to withstand the 2-3 years waiting my turn for advancement nevermind merit or actively submarining people for my gain which i suck at and thus do not do yet wish I was better at so when done to me i might withstand it better… but such is fading from my energies or interest, i’ve done the best i could in my time with what I had and what matters, just a few more things to achieve which are tricks like as in not based on my direct control or choices yet required or measured at least in life none the same… like a politician rarely does well without trotting out A wife however philanderous the prick is, A wife is legitimacy yet it’s not his choice but largely hers that she’s present.  hypothetical surely but i do mean that i’d hate to end or journey forever onwards alone….but as i say fine choice i may be, yes mirror talk 😀 but such isn’t MY choice and i hardly even influence it yet such is a desire.    but such is associations

I hate that word too, associate ass, so I ate… it sounds like i’m relating how I was crap conversation at dinner.  callin’ names and junk instead forever being positive.  no one needs one’s negativities.  but associate as in not partner just known and perhaps tacitly part of.. associated and likely the ass of ociation too.  but africa, not ass, africa, I remember enough to waste these words.  I doubt I’ll have cause to go anytime soon  nor make money knowing this or win any relavent to the time trivia contest at some pub.  and thus in 3 years i’ll have to refresh.  just like playing piano, i can hear the notes if not feel them, but there is a defined difference of feeling the music and feeling the instrument making the noises- that’s muscle type memory which is so swiftly forgotten it’s annoying and thus another attitude out there, how many holes in your employment history?  each hole is time enough to rust past uselessness even 2-3 weeks is more than enough time to be 3 weeks less productive again or cost money versus make money…  remembbering dbase to ms office and thus how to make a registry of employee information, payroll, identification and or emergency contact/ bday b.s.  i mean i learned that and how to amortize a basic compound interest program too along with simpler credit card/auto loan stuff and yet to do this is program specific and easily forgotten i have to refresh this b.s. knowledge yearly but i don’t as i haven’t touched a computer for actual work needs in 15 years.  about the only thing i need to know is how to text on a phone fast which isn’t a skill

 

although, if you’ve kept up… heheheh

petscii as a machine entry code level thing via ten key data entry  – that project?

73 39 77 32 68 79 73 78 71 32 79 46 75 46

I’M DOING O.K.

 

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13th of luck

luck.  it’s not just the cards we’re dealt but how we play them.  I know, what a tired cliche of a metaphor!  but Cribbage, a sample hand or so.

firstly, for those of you who don’t remember this game or even sort of know how to play it: rules.  one must shufle the deck at least three times and offer the other player a chance to cut.  flip a coin or whatever to determine who shuffles first if one’s that competitive.  the cutting player gets the privilage of calling which card wins/loses before cutting.  a cut is four cards or more but NOT leaveing less than four cards left.. so yes we could have quite the opening argument if before the game even starts about cutting to see who goes first as the second player might not get a legal cut chance!  now provided the cut is done and a dealer and opener is chosen- the mayhem can contnue.  each player one card at a time starting with first the crib holder- i.e. the first player NOT the dealer EVER is dealt to then the dealer til each has six cards… remember now, this meant three shuffles then a cut then a deal… two cards are selected to be placed into the “crib” which after the game play and hand scorings is a bonus for the person with the crib hand.  scoring is also a major major argument waiting for the overly competitive – in that the following things score in cribbage some immediately some only on your turn to count.  first the the cards are dealt and the crib is filled, we dealer to the crib holder cuts for an up card….crib holder turns that card up.  now if it’s HIS KNOBS ilel the card turned up is a jack, it immediately scores 2 points.  otherwise the cussing of how good an upcard it is is noted on each players face if you’re lucky.  now the crib holder allows the dealer to go first- this is a game of counting.  points possible go as follows: 15 called is 2 points, go is a point to the other play 1 point. pairs 2 points pairs royale 6 points and god forbid one legally plays a four of a kind 12 points or six pairs that is x 2 points and 31 is two points- during game play there is no chance between the players to play for points a flush or all five cards matching the upcard…but within your hand and rules  you can have said…but this is later! – there is also  a allotment for points 3 cards or more in sequence or a “run” 3 cards 3 points 4,4 etc this is in addition to 15’s, go’s, and 31’s! and a go doesn’t stop one’s chances at these points either. the last car played is 1 point to the player playing it.  all of points like this are pegged immediately!  all miscalls “muggins!” that legally are called are points for the person accurately explaining the error with corrected points going to the muggins caller – if necessary taking back incorrectly pegged points as well…this is where if you listen to ME? you’ll be jipped, read official rules!  everyone’s vary but know these or your rules WELL it tends to help 😉 a lot.  1 point can mean more than a game!  now turns go and become necessary- the dealer has the chance to count his hand FIRST after game play as he/she does not have the advantage of the hand plus an additional crib hand. now the crib holder counts first the played hand then the crib hand indicating out loud a total score  all scoring is called aloud then pegged muggins can be called but here’s a trick to it- you can only call muggins on points actually pegged so watch your mouth or you give away your advantages.  now hands count 15’s, pairs/etc, flushes, KNOBs not his nobs which pegs immediately,and runs..not 31’s.  a flush is all four cards of your played hand only not matching the upcard in suits…or all five of your cars 4 in hand plus the upcard all matching the first r card flush is 4 points and the the five card flush is 5 points…however to get a flush in a crib hand you must match all five cards in a flush – four don’t count.   to be very very clear on what go’s mean,  you have NO cards that legally play towards 31…the other player must play all cards that they have toward the 31 possible but it is their choice how- let’s say I call go at 35 called as i have all higher cards than that left… the other player knows full well I go first in the next run to 31 til our cards in hand are exhausted and has two cards to play a 5 and a 2 making 35 be 27 with the two played or 30 with the five played – as this player gambles on the go caller having ten’s that must be played first, he can select to hold the five for a shot at a fifteen called in play-  it is NOT another’s choice which card is selected – excepting this exception… if muggins is called in play for inaccurate play- it is now the muggin’s caller turn to select which cards play where to correct the errors of legality which can diminish points considerably!  however muggins for in play irregularities can not be called once after game pegging is in progress.    now this seems like a lot to read but if you fail to understand the timing aspect of this game you will understand nothing of why it’s so much fun!  or depressing…depression happens. 😀

 

now let’s say i have a 7H, 7D 6D and a 2C having thrown away a JS and 10D to crib which isn’t mine this turn.  the upcard is a 5S meaning the following:

my now 5,6,7,7,2 hand rocks for points!….nope I just got sodomized by the upcard badly.  abecause while yes it benefits my hand making six points turn into 12 points i gave away 5 points to get six and two unknown cards remain and we’ve not even begun in play points possible!  it’s about the most looming card to my chances.

which are?  I open with a 7 sis an 8 for 15! for 2, I play a snidely 6 for run of 3 for 3, she 31 for 2 with her 10, I open with a 2, sis another 2 for 4 for a pair for 2 points I play my 7 and she a 5 for 16 and last card.  thus a 7 to her, 3 to me points in play and she has 10 points in her hand plus 7 in play for 17 points and I, 12+3 for 15…remember crib? 4 points I know of exist there…. turns out she threw 2 queens thinking it a better shot at elevating her crib points as she was already winning and curious most would have kept a 10, 2 queens counts as ten each and the five for a big payday of points!!!! but I was losing badly as per usual. thus now she’s 2 runs of 3 for 6 points; a pair for 2 points and 15 for 8 points for 16 points in crib.. or 31 points to 15 points because that how this LUCK of the draw works for me. my next hand i score 7 points to her 17 with the advantage that time of it being my crib.. the only thing that pissed her of was it wasn 7 to make 92 points to her over 121 if she’d have counted first she’d have won two games not one for gaining a skunk! or wining by over 30 points… double skunks  is 4 games vs. 1 or the match instantly over. most matches of cribbage are best of 7 games…. or essentially first one to win 4 games.  now never mind the obvious which is you can count different chances with the above cards even if I didn’t suit hers on purpose… it’s just a facet of luck

luck is timing – I’m not without potentials but sometimes I’m not more than a points rake in for others.  danged if that ain’t annoying.  oh i haven’t won a singles game in the last 13 played.

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The Bottle Was Po’SHed off.

i have three prompts left for the poetry month scavenger hunt bythat doughnut church lady.  doughnuts as sacriments… it could catch on.  really easily…any old breakfast.  anyways the prompts left are mythic/fairy poem compare/contrast poem and the drop some rain on ye poems.  of course, technically there is 104 feverish or fine hottub temperature opportunities to choose your own poetry month adventures or misadventures and i didn’t list one hundred and four entries so hallelujah, you are spared! but so this paragraph leaves me time to muse how to put a cork in the message of this month bottled.

 

Puppies

(puppies) ((puppies)) (((puppies)))

you know it never rains but it pours

it was either lose sleep or lose a little more

puppies coming like rain

a thunder clap of a contraction

and there another droplet is lain

it doesn’t take much towonder the sights

one was heiffer cow spotted some greyed other black to white.

each picture an awwww awaiting such captions

but it never does really rain because it pours

karma has that wolfish smile of satisfaction

11 more and the avalanche of growing roars.

one minute it’s peace

the next the bed torn tween teeth

one moment it’s the sweet sound silence

then the cacaphony soars

one minute it’s one simple life’s new chance

then the tidal wave of circumstance

 

but even grumpy old me can imagine…

being overrrule as i smile with no less satisfaction

it never rains but it pour

 

nothing now is 11 more.

 

myth’s cherishing a lie

aged yet new  all at the same time.

snipe hunting tonight?

it’s interesting that snipes actually exist- i forget when and where i read it but it was probably wikipedia – you know before the hokum of people making a stink about how easy it was to change wikipedia thus how unscholarly???  i mean duh, fifth grade might get away with one straight from the place but college say pay attention to your face… but wikipedia settles all bets.  anyways, a snipe is a fast moving hard to hit bird  rather not metaphorically dissimilar to ‘fish stories” which we all know have some unmentionable odor.  a sportman might simply disbelieve the tall tales of how many snipe snuffed it that day you know under the hot sun? what a surprise, none to show yes NONE.

a wall of the wets

glistens  stilbut soon you’re soaked

a weighted grey wall

 

the real reality here is i was suddenly sidetracked to obtain a lead on my puppy placements, hear that prince passed away today- there’ll be some youtubing comin’ our house’s daddy dog made it through his nuetring and is sleeping now, yamering with others to or about this, walking to sis’ work to tell her about this and alerting interested party MIL of this…etc or honestly, “losing my train of thought.”… anyways.

purle rain, crying dove

the news floods in of what’s now gone

mem’ries, yesterdays’ love

 

the color goes steel

as if fluffy whites Weather

word-rain, if you will

 

heaven is cryin

yes the tears shish on the ground

in country’s rhymin’

 

the gun metal gloom

unsettling, looming snows

Winter spat at Spring

 

rainy days and Mondays

drips wet from the clouds, splashing

memories, emotions

 

heared laughter in the rain?

were you walking wet hand in hand

I’m on that 70’s vein.

 

rain, rain down….on me.

karma gets up and cloudy!

ever been GUILTY?

 

ever watch the rain?

drippin in the tv screen

we add the blue stain

 

I should count puddles

the words dropped as if they’re rain

nah, rather muddle.

 

what is rain really

spiritually wetted muse?

or, reality?

 

rain the hiss filling

what was silence now singing

til candy bowl’s filled

 

god’s lookie Lookie me

lightning flashing through the rain

can you see it dropping?

 

a chair the a ter

to Nature went IMAX big

as i get rained on.

 

pen and ink flicker

as rain paints the mood sodden

PBS’ Mys’try

 

a cotton calming cloud

stills sunshine’s raindrops through the tree

yet you still hear that sound

=

=I may poet again

=

=but now, some purple, purple rain.

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26th PoSHing and MORE

 

  • A cooking poem.

six words woven

Chicken Wings, maple syrup, Teriyaki, Oven, Glazed, CAREFULL

http://www.wikihow.com/Write-a-Sestina

abcdef, faebdc, cfdabe, ecbfad, deacfb, bdfeca/ ab, cd, ef

 

don’t snacks make ye sing?  How ’bout Chicken Wings

order up divine with maple syrup

it’s technically a teriyaki

o’er bits of birdmeat straight from the oven

sweet not fire’s blaze – a candy crunch glaze

so stuff your mouth full with yours cooked careful

 

it is so easy – be ever careful

as this mouth candy can char chicken wings

t’ain’t no dippin craze- you’re makin’ a glaze

some things stirred on up with your maple syrup

first under foiil four-twenty’d oven

soy seasoned maple syrup teriyaki

 

garlic and sweet soy sauce teriyaki

a stain forever so be so careful

once cooked in foil turn down the oven

350’ll do next part chicken wings

wretched garlic death blooms maple syrup.

your eyes cant go glazed, stir and baste this glaze

 

this one aint short nor an all day glaze

but sugared up soy this teriyaki

salt herb and the sweet sweet maple syrup

liquid hot lava this is be careful

not a fried up thing these baked chicken wings

but lord in heaven nope the home oven

 

foile four-twenty’d then standard ovened

so the sauce bois right down to a glaze

candy coated yum these chicken BWOK! wings

somethin’ so deeep south, not teriyaki?

such stereotypes, you just be careful!

or it’s pancaked nose, blood maple syrup.

 

oh hush now and dream of maple syrup

golden browned round crunch right from your oven

mix foil and bake unlid now, CAREFUL

stir baste then stir baste this sauce is your glaze

one part to one part this teriyaki

tang then blooming sweet yummy chicken wings

 

maple syrup sweet tweeked teriayki

oven baked these gems plattered chicken wings

carefuly tend so no char but glazed.

1:1 say to maple syrup with garlic to taste -foiled so the chicken cooks completely and so the sauce comes to a bubble at 420, then over time checking, tending often as this burns to charcoal otherwise in 5 minutes from first black spots, nurse you a candied glaze at 350 til done.  16oz is just a smidge too much glaze for 0ne pound winds in an 8×8 csserole or brownie pan… I use LITE soy as it’s still an overload of salt to salt sensitives… one pound is a snack! for two ravenously now hungry people. I stole the recipe whilst watching  PBS but alas, i can not any longer trace the show- i only remember it was a black and white presenters, i swore someone said kentucky as most think this recipe was deeply southern when it’s more northern and or japanese than southern.  the 420 is important as you need this sauce to bubble or it takes far too long. — enjoy.  oh, I take whichever number also so i don’t have to concoct another damned sestina punishment.

 

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PoSH 24/25ths

 

  • A poem with some sort of bird in it.
  • A poem about a collection or collecting

smile for the birdy!

there is just that kind of

Hell awaiting the IT guy

you know, sucker makes it work?

there it is a fox, maid marion

dropping new born Carrion

there’s ‘coonie about to lick

her mitten-furred mits

But oh hell no are the pup pics

hiding forever in foldered weeds

There’s da BIRD

oh puke it’s so cute.

and I’ve 550 some still to spin on through

collections needing inspections

who the hell are these people?

a tug says hey lookie, lookie ME

god made the dandelions on which I pee

and over here where I balk and sass

it ye a pile to remove from the grass

Come, fur-child, let’s go see Mommy!

 

that head pops up with a sniff of attention!

oh god, what disaster awaits my later mention

Heaven’s be PRAISED, this walk will christian me RED

but rue i wont because he’s my good boy! – goes through my head

but solid logic here needs a good question.

 

believe it or not it wasn’t the bike or a distant wail

nor even the look you jackass smell the bbq  you’re beyond the pale!

of course there was sass as there was sits

but guess who works late…sis.

so back home again we go, I failed.

 

then the bike nope a solitary old man

friendly enough but again I’m near on my can

oh no no, skittish with teeth unfurled

oh no no he likes! you but tomorrow he’ll be a girl

of course he’s escaped me and galloped the world.

 

the the head’s back at attention

we’re nearly home – did I mention?

and here come let’s look look on the double!

probably another pet a mile away but still trouble

will the snip-snip stop this aggression?

==

oh yeah, what a serving up of rhyming slop

oh yes yes! one more fine line….. STOP!

not Moskeeters but  close enough. 140 ish pounds of difficult for now…with any luck and love… improvements are coming imaging that head is as his feets are on the ground over my beltline – you know…urkle’s?