Hope when there isn’t any

The following shows you just a little bit of the thought and feeling behind simple stuff and how easy it is to be daunted when certain simple things are not. Simple.

Remember any leg up is a blessing or some advantage and yay if any help to shine is out there. If you don’t, I must- no joke the merest whisper of attitude shuts these niceties all out.!.

This link discusses how to complete an irs form 8850. This is be eligible for the employER to gain a discount of up to nearly $10,000 for a disabled vet hired or $2400 for the other disadvantaged employment seekers in the USA labor system.
I have maybe and I mean maybe one lonely hope of qualifying for this credit/incentive. I have an active voc rehab account even though I have a distinct feeling I’m going to face a start of schooling setback thus invalidating the plan. Otherwise I get the wrong aid pushing out of every other qualification as I make too much to ever otherwise qualify.

I fought to get a voc-rehab account . Maybe. I can with an employers interest get a referral up so if I make 120 hours the company gets an incentive for making us work. Maybe.

This is what is called hope when there isn’t any — not because I’m out of luck but because I must roll forward believing in now two things neither guaranteed to get one thing and not look a liar. Which is hire me 40% first 120 hours up to 2400 off (25 savings actually nearly entirely eliminating employer taxes on my income or with four of me the year insurance quote for a small business

Yet as you see the details as possible white knuckles things as I’m counting on others giving me my own “rights.” (Please understand an oversimplified lification thus falacy of rights… it’s my right as a society voted offer! Offer! This offer is designed to help but as resources are forever thin it’s coming with supervision to make damned sure it’s purpose is upheld… rehab as a mission is not! Get one a job but get one fully self sufficient – so while it’s available any job is good it’s not to milk the system for more but be entirely free as is as soon as practicable and within defined rules and reason… so yes it’s a right but one should be careful to understand upfront what and why and fight accordingly! To exercise these benefits and not silly ass pay me now when I get what I want I’ll cut ya back oh no no no nope sorry ain’t happening it’s a defined plan and proper reasonable goals !… but such is life that when you must fight from less any gained advantages is seized and grown! But that’s not the gov benefit way!! They offer forward one two three bootski we’ve done our bit correctly and legally not helped boost up frauds and or cheats. But that’s logistics of no! Faith is somehow believing forward that this is that from the beginning and making it come true helped! Even!!! Not damn them I best get what I want or they robbed me purposely held me back (damn right they can choose not to waste even a tax incentive on my hopes which costs nothing and shows positive successful unemployed to employed! Beefing their bottom lines.!. But this is what it’s like to ask not be in command and remember it’s on on me if I succeed or fail not in any way their fault yet somethings they have I need and I don’t get to go and take! —- that’s what rights mean here — or in English be care how you realistically access a job offer in today’s times where sure at full time no matter the wage it’s considered appropriate to try yet! Consider real life in our real costs and that no one is handing jobs out and full time is earned and part time never is guaranteed full or anything so simply getting any job is suspect to my benefit and mission structure next many jobs can be eventually good but in reality are low wage and hours to start as the risk is enormous not in money lost but hassles of getting rid of people disliked right to work or! Not states as the point is paying unemployment which if someone is dismissed erroneous to these rules the company pays workmans comp . Now with that said it’s a right in that up until ex numbers how aid and employment work I get my taxes back. So remember well I must have a job offer perched paperwork to gain if possible a referral so as to qualify for a credit which is like all things designed up front to make one more tastey to hire. But look well at how that’s fought and with who -it’s not guaranteed yet without this think fast how advantage evaporates! It is NOT a quick phone call it’s a variety of forms 😉 with all of a sudden work of vetting my progress yes over a tax credit! Toward success… it is within this you can see why it’s difficult to fight multiple battles one getting to be advantageous in the search, actual work of the job as the incentive is paid after achieving it. Not along the way. So too early a inquiry gets one a hey I need money not a tax rebate next year. With this in mind remember this is where disability comes into play. It’s an idea of usefulness. If I don’t look it, I’m not hired and guess what that is entirely legal- not liking my qualifications is not discrimination it’s to me to prove I can do x,y,z and then stand how well I fit their team or needs! It’s a whole lot when others need only say rightly I do not have time to spend playing games for employees! So realize I am now that guy fully prepared to take time proving what is or is not visible based on prior employment experience or history doing not wanting! This is rights one oh one and why I all along my way employ others to aid me yet they’re salaried and I not guaranteed squat. This is how stop it all what is frustrating forward. A fair shake still legally applied is not a fair shake at all but humiliating long winded as remember most size others in a look heh. Now be grateful and humble as I am not tolerated to complain if the gift others immediately feel they bestow with this process which you must see can be difficult needlessly. All for a discount on my pay… which by it’s nature evaluates me instantly less. That’s rights and upstanding folk say bitch about the treatment after you’re employed pride pays zero an hour )


Let it out

Yes, an article on farts. Don’t be afraid to eat right as you’ll fart anyways. You stinker.

This is healthviens video on cancer being a business
Please be careful as I don’t want a death but I’m not without this new bashing of highly educated folk offering good tested advise on a best guess (medicine is a practice!) to help us. This in mind
B-17 I hadn’t heard of b vitamins past twelve and there are some lemons to this order. B-17 is available for purchase at amazon but before you rush there, it’s also known as amygdalin which is in bitter. Almond far more widely known as a source of cyanide s highly deadly poison. So
If I’m sucking down the jim Jones koolaide (mass suicide by cyanide poisoning )of a cure.. death is a cure I suppose but not a desired result!


When I’m cool with that

A pan teardrops called hope –
watering within their sauna
Carry meaning evoked

Half and half chuck mince, mild Italian sausage mix with an egg, salt, onion powder dusting and a half sleeve crunched cracker dust main to hold it together are mixed rolled foiled and ivening away 35-40 minutes predated 350f oven

Results, mix/match meatballs that brown on the bottom


(Hint, all media in meatballs swells so if you get lazy! Like you see I have of making this dust not just crumbles small?  Cracker chunks about HUGE will manifest.  60 minutes in case you want last directions)

My strange turn in conversation I deserve and say thank you for as the toothache of my souls hopes eases. Whether it’s not my time
Or I lost forever or even deserve my fate, bless the memories and the impetus here to live alive and dream again. It does sting if that helps as I remember the words and it seems fair they changed as I believed in them. I am glad as it’d be sad if there weren’t meaning😃. So whether I’m right or I’m right and believe be aware I’m likely to be, hug. May I see the second best you can ever hope for come true. Kinda like me making meatballs for a picnic I won’t have and or the spaghetti you can afford better.

The beautiful south sings it well – I’ll sail this ship alone



For that moment sushi

spent out  in sunshine basking

happy is choosing



its 4:54 am.  I begin writing a blog and search tapestry twirlers colors words weaving into my morning.  Chevrolet offers big truck engines at 454 cubic engine inches.  As with arguable facts, Chevy is blue collar king of the road of the small timers.  I’ve completed my dishes about house.  I’ve earl grey going tepid which had no room for cream as I greeeeeedily hit the ten oz fills thus left no room if I wanted to brew my tea.  I’m out to sign an ‘ipe’ for state services/aid as I got to bed at a reasonable nine 30pm to awake just before four am the just enough to get by rest.  I dream of doughnuts.  No no not Barbara eden in ‘I dream of Jeannie’ 60’s sitcom tv. Although I’d cuss if I got honey do!’d to redecorate the living room to be a genie bottle!  (Not likely but it was a plywood trick set you climbed into… I don’t wanna pour myself into a living room! Oh yes I do soup of the da!  Whiskey with frozen water croutons. Heheheh… do you ever feel a bit part of an earlier social construct?  Doughnuts tea or coffee the working man’s tools… knowing that a doughnut breakfast could mean steaks by coal red light for dinner?  A couple of arm chair anchors both furniture and the furniture in the furniture….  baked potato and a lil onioned green beans?  Vaporous as it is vacuous chatter prayers amended by apple pie?… mainly to mean ones expected to have the diabetic catnap by the tv like the naptime in kindergarten once forelling of life.  It’s okay to dream of doughnuts although I’m a bad American for drinking tea not the holy righteous coffee.  I guess I need to believe… but that belief is a tummy ache mixing tea and coffee!)


This is a very old movie that isn’t likely copyrighted so that it’s non centered as to beat copy algorithm?  Heheheh. You will see the Clark gable which eating a carrot is cartooned? Into bugs bunny later.  And get a lesson in doughnuts:)

this is apropos of a golden time right  40 before I got here. Even if doughnuts and Chevy is still here and my morning con-patriotic tea


Ghostly piano in the lobby…

smiling inspite of cynicism at the gift shop /sucker spot.  It might bring a smile and those are good.

92 pounds or wow that was! Heavy.  245 lbs potatoes the person… yet both got to their spots safely as I am useful at 147 lbs.


i wonder tween a cold cuts cruising for an Italian type of sandwich/sub or is I’m in therapeutic need of a chili dog.

im not really surprised today went this way.  I am a tad lazy about my supper I should get after.



This indicates a fairly well contained and maintained rig and conditions saying even still there’s so seriously tricky bits of lacking certainty in life and that is metaphorical.  Go get your vomit bags.

This is an application of using liquid air.  There is a large variation of performance within how the end result is produced.  And yet much control is exercised in precisely offering the uncertain later range of performance.

i was curious about the liquid nitrogen cartridges for some newer generation aerosol cans as CFC are hideous to our ozone and yet we can not live with conveniences.  I was curious because the more you meter a specific amount the more predicted work can come of it.  Engines run upon the expansion of heat be that liquid air coming to safely contained pressures to spin an engine or gas burning to produce hot air vroom vroom!  Nitrogen can expand 696 times ish thus a very small variation of quantity can double unsafely it’s containment and yet down to the sized puff of air, using only so much to achieve the work means less time refilling.  But I return to the problem not of possibilities but control


nitrogen in water bottles topped up removes water and gives us that safe shooshed sound of sealed food and beverages.  Yes liquid nitrogen just a droplet and it’s capped safely pushing out oxygen or spoilage and we’ve comforting life.  But


as you’ll read and or notice?  There’s no accurate control.  Just flows not a more tangible touch.


lately ive ran upon the fuels intuition to be alive and some of the worsts for me are certain sadnesses yet why they’re sad I can not quite handle/measure.   What’s making this not just a fart sound of airvescaping a balloon ewwwww metaphorically is an odd notion that this both must be shhh don’t i worry yet do assert to be growing my own sense of respect! – but don’t worry.  Joy is present so too soo a lesson in patient power.


So no- there is little certainty to measuring accurately the atmosphere to sterile utilize heat.   There is uncertainty.  It means there will be costs inherent.

fishey business risk



i never suspected mom to have seen anything efforts of mine in and then hope I push that tiny bit more in the face of fairly certain ruin.


i snapped a picture of a menu so I could enlarge it enough to read it and order somewhere I never alter otherwise the order.  Curiously I saw on change back the awesome lack of cash handling safety of amount visible.


i took the rapid transit – a different new route and its the poorest neighborhood rout ever wow.  And despite cutting out a lot of stops and coming every fifteen minutes twice as fast as any other bus route it was the slower connection by a mile and most I’ll timed to miss ever route I needed.


it occurs to me just as a whisper how amusing it is to face little fears as seeming wins often ignore larger losses hidden within them.  Just as complete massive failures can turn silvered afterall


its still amusing out there.



I have 11 days for folk to contact me on scheduling what amounts to a GED test?  I graduated high school and have a decent ACT score atop which have college credit with a c average within that times studies…. but I apparently need a GED?  11 days to have this signed by them .  This test isn’t used for the school I wish to attend either.  It’s thus red tape to shuffle me out of their hair.

Why? This agency is how you get job tools.  This agency being governmental also is your watchdog of rights.  So to be shuffled means I have no help towards tools or info helpful.  I can go this entirely unsupported.

The worry was there wasn’t enough time?  Um I filed for on september’s Third week for roughly six months prior to classes beginning which is march’s 3rd week.


Needless to say: there’s a closing coming as I gain no aid here and must proceed elsewhere.  This will be a delay.  Atop this I will need to move to keep boosting my future financially which destroys this attempt schooling as I must transfer addresses ruining my residency status so I get my medication access.    It’s a year to another chance to save the cash for tool stuff because obviously I need look to myself.  Hahaha so much for that first grand idea forward!  Hahahahaha. Never underestimate red tape


now from a practical point of view— the agency is USA states level division of vocational rehabilitation.—- you need the following things :

proof of eligibility

yes you can use the service no matter who you are!  But I warn that your priority is legally low if you’ve no disability or military service.  This reason is to be arrested by a competent liscensed professional.  If you’re blind eye doctors certifying this for instance.  If you have health challenges  doctors specific written diagnosis of this.  I warn you that doctors charge for this cash money not covered by insurance!  So if you require aid getting even this much you will go to their experts or pay for your own.    Next: if you have any disability in learning you must bring that in certified by liscensed professionals  this is curious in that I have an entire schooling from preschool through high school graduation in special needs programs meaning I saw add/adhd said of me often! But guess what?? No one certified this as a diagnosis ever.  So to compound my issues I have maybes out there and lazy people not willing to chase anything but certainties.     Then of course funding!  This isn’t free money so if you want help show assets and full financial vetting to see how you get and how much.  Atop this it is imperative that you can identify the tools you specifically need and where to procure them and what costs.  This also means services too.  You’d now have to choke that with this effort, what good are these agencies if this is my work and what real help are they?  Don’t go having a bad attitude now!  They are trained experts! 😉

this lesson in frustrating services is a reality of disability.  Not always do people want to help or occasionally there is a possibility that they can not help.  Keeping your chin up watching delays and treatment come is difficult— yet consider why people go to where there is help by reputation!!  Because this is also a reality that. Months go by.  Months and you’ll wake to nothing is done.


this is the level of support sometimes out there.  Being offended  is a great way to be asked to leave as they don’t need your grief.

The amusing thing here is my intended school offers tabe testing Friday all day test which is available minus any accommodation as I must have services to gain that ;). And that would cover their proof of requirements for service minus my later health issues just blindness as it there upon proof of ssdi received case  blah blah blind.  Haha easy stuff ;). That would leave me to write how I need the counseling by them   Lotsa counseling (budgeted need of their pay) and then if she wishes it ammended she doesn’t have to sign and time runs out.  Yes that’s if you see me force my will. Past such jerks ;). Basically they don’t have to help and that’s the bottom line.  There is enough excuses to cover ones behind. (Save job).


This is tax money by the way.  Cushiony government work.


Trashing posts.

here I go trashing

posts bearing my soul that … um….

show only I tried