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cafe bustelo
drizzling chocolate within
milked and swirled so.

the budget! oh gawd!
swir’lin possibilities
yet the trut remains.

hi my enemy
your name’s help as you’ve been helped
give! so I can take

the stakes are now higher
the sun shines now in the eyes
circle before the mountain.

if you will I’ve done well. I’veachieved the hardest thing of finding a way to get ahead and acheived it more than once. I still am partially paid for september’s bills. I’m less than amused with how the year is scheduled with 2 weeks mine in all this time of my seperated space. I wont see my space unencumberred until middle october more than likely with thus maybe 3 weeks to enjoy it after a minor additional paint and electrical job done causing the weeks havock. I did get somewhere. just like I say I played the lottery and won…alll my money back 😀 wee! I’m just saying you know that time when it was dreamed far higher and planned well for a steinback novel turnout 😀

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well I’ll be buffaloed 2

it’s the seventh dayinto the stuff. protandim. if you want to try it it, it’s relatively harmless/helpful but at 1.5x a pill not including shipping, it is priced to steal a coffee from you daily. the same coffee that can be 3 children saved on the children poverty helpline or christian children’s fund . the same 500 a year that isn’t even a shitty weekend out anymore. the same 625 that is a cheap computer when yours just broke. the same 500 that literally is a brand new cheap major appliance you pick up yourself. a brand new couch. the same money if invested in baseball card the first year of your kid’s birth is about 3 grand over time to cover a real cheap international vacation for the brat in 20 years.

all I got was gas. I will check my blood work and see if I lowered any appropriate target number which I doubt as it raises one up front that make none of the other seem so likely as it raises uric acid production. uric acid is emergency first and it’s raised so here comes the stiffs FIRST nevermind if in a few months other elements of healthy living go down I fucked myself FIRST. just take more and keep trying… fine so long as I’m not paying….well not really. I can remember to take it and thus my other pills and potions. so there is this plus. but at 51.52 a month? I’m better off paying someone a dollar a call to text alarm me of this. I paid less for my phone.

I’m sure that ˆ wont be more virial. I’m sure I can spend more money at a gym better than with this stuff. I’m pretty much certin I get and got nothing but the affore mentioned gas and a few numbers I’m better off not raising out of my experience.. I didn’t have to take insulin but as i said before I get those times on my own drinking heavily but less than usual. I did get to walking more and more often but frankly eff that, I’m not paying for me to do everything and this stuff NOTHING but take money/credit for my hard work.

at least with the essential oils snake oil thing, I knew it worked then did the math of 10-15 drops per mililiter across 15 mililiters is 225 doses lasting 2 hours ish which is why your mean western pharmaceuticals charge millions for their six hour pills….it’s 3 less doses requiring a nurse. or lose of living time. thus even essential oils are a far cry from a good pill, patch or injectable, inhalant etc. yet at least they tend to work. this stuff claims health miricals this protandim and all it offers is gas and you off your own fat ass afterwords to do the real work of MAKING it work. not useless, just dubious in value and horribly overpriced in my oppinion. and worse it comes with risks I gamble my life on to have only to feel robbed.

thus protandim is not going to be my fountain of youth. I will be my own at the devils’ price for what I’d get being honest anyways. if you want a literary allusion

a russian tale I forget name and origin goes as follows, a man will be rich if he wears this coat and doesn’t shave or cut hair for 7 years. he’ll always find money in his pockets should his hands ask for it but 7 years if he makes it as a pariah he’ll be? rich. needless to say this is a life lesson that few of us dedicate ourselves this much to any goal and it’s no longer 7 but 10 anyways to be an overnight success… but anyways with all the struggle and toil we gain our aims. the devil need make us no deal as we’d get it ourselves by ourselves and never overnight but after due process.

so 7 days is now seven years laugh. a few pennies is gone aw boo. I stink …great company I am but metformin was two step tango bathroom mix worse fluid. and good for whoever 3 people made their few cents off me.

I probably wouldn’t be so mad if I didn’t smell and poetically have just as good of performance on the real people poker tables but by by ten grand a table buy ins 3 for 3 minutes I mights as well admit I suck worse than a 4 year old sugared out adhd at card ooo shiny! bye bye pile. of . chips. but that’s the truth and my mood. all I have is foul winds for fifty plus pissed away here comes a three day weekend working while others have a life as I give two three day weekends per every day off I get. I get two a year. never actual holidays. I work them all.

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Well I’ll be buffaloed. 1

magic powders and potions review time. I’m on protandim. it’s been three whole days. the only consistant effect i can garuntee of my experience is far more gas which means I’m like anyone more likely to fault diet than the new edition to it. I was and am concerned that the stuff might be only a placebo which means it’s effects however imagined or real are more likely mistakenly attritubutable to other things rather than the product directly. I didn’t see any innitial reason to have it be a no go for being something I’m allergic to or counter indicated wth my meds. I knew I’d end up deciding this try on the notion I gamble on many things why not a friend? here I am now with a bit of mild criticism in a link that seems to support the critical definition of this stuff being naught more than the latest snake oil and smiles….

http://supplement-geek.com/protandim-research-review-lifevantage/

I’ll be buffaloed but it seems the early word is that despite being likely all the usual snake oil promises, it might be the very placebo I need to be more health aware.

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bucket list.

“Madadayo” is playing on and off at present. a fine japanese film ….yes…subtitles… of it’s story of a beloved teacher who finds his books salable and moves into a career as a writer. he will however always be beloved by his past and present students. soon a yearly party is arranged even during the war years to celebrate a question… “madadayo” not yet. the response of these parties to the theme that he isn’t dead yet. I remember and delightfully await his cooking party prior to the parties where he serves up a pot of something dreadful sounding to the guests and makes a few jokes. there is something about our beloved characters that adds to our days. like perhaps the sign …that will without fail to keep people from peeing on his alley wall… scissors.

I’m fresh done with “we cant help it, We’re men.” a red green show special. wherein the toilet tank beer cooler was glorious as to emptying the melted ice…just flush.

this is preceeded by the new movie I just got at the big lots, “the tv set” a show about where we go to haave our dreams cancelled. as you see from the above I didn’t find “”the stunt man” with peter o’toole which is the movie answer to the tv’s set’s theme of the way so many things aren’t what they were intended originally to be….

I did find my snag in the story “reading lolita in tehran” as we’ve moved into James which reminds me I haven’t read all the classics nor seen all of them but GOOD 😀
you should have seen my surprise at the so many things I forgot I bought or even still posessed as I pulled out my movies after the tv set was finished and another belt was required… of movie magic not wine… I over did that last night because I failed to eat before the what normally is allowable but not without food it isn’t amounts. oops. yes, I defend that statement in this paragraph… emotions are fleeting when one selects one or a little of the magic moment wears off..

this is entitled bucket list because so much out there is our thoughts or at least mine that I’d never live them all so why not the best of these thoughts? there I go judging the merit of my thoughts turning them into dreams to say one is better than the other. what is so useless and non life-fulfilling as a day of darkened ominous clouds wherein I forgot to post my schedule and I awoke to what was that in the tub ? what is so much grander of a day of living wherein I foresake fine film viewing to do what only matters in the sunny times a walk to the fine smothered burrito that I probably cant have just yet as I blew my calories budget again with a real soda twice…. I mean what makes the buritto the bucket list dream of saucey green chili with just a note of vegetation bright spot tween the river of cheese melted upon what one chose to fill the tortilla with be that beans and chicarones…fried pork skins… or perhaps beef… maybey the other options cowardly no not lion chicken. why is this any more value than a forced slog about the bnk balances dwindling to see “the world”

I have been to chester west virginia, just over the river from east liverpool ohio. ohio is boring as states go as all there is is slightly cheaper jug wine and the local sports teams to get madly excited about. but imagine now that i have stepped from the vehicle to take one picture that I have many years since lost of a metal bridge so common in the fifties isgh of architecture ish and I effed up the shot it leans, it’s crooked!” I at least was excited about the museum of pottery that turned out to be closed. I took a crappy photgrpah in west virginnie weeee! I saw sights of rolling pastures and farms like that of puzzles in ohio and dang near turned my ankle in west virginia. I was alone for much of my experience of chester west virginia. making bad photography and somehow wasn’t in ohio. later ohio was visiting a hotel room I got as I picked the wroooonnng place and somehow am reminded that makes no sense of how I lost my carton of orange mint kamels due to a foul of in my bags arriving with me but not the unlabled multiple bottles of hdrocodone that I didn’t want thanks to indiana law not allowing customer/passengers to switch their own bags … I mean yep to get oops robbed… memory is tricky because while I’m sure i had this experience… of that I’ve no doubt, I took a bus from knoxsville tennessee in this particularl run up to ohio. one doesn’t go through indianapolis via this direction.

if the above paragraph makes no sense for lack of a point, consider that I mean, How the hell am I going to kow just what will touch me when it rarely is the beauty of the tourism pamphlet? I mean to say that I remember visiting the glenwood springs colorado and walking into town and being reminded of a thought that not everything was as it is corporate now…the spaghetti tasted like the stuff you can’t believe you ordered from the pizza hut when I never did put two and two together that pizza sauce is like spaghetti sauce or that pizza and ber weren’t a menu item combination that even seemed appealing at ten… now it’s tough to get a good relationship going with the right delivery driver to just pick you up a six on his or her way. I mean that spaghetti that just is tastelessly bland even compared with chef boyardee. you can’t tell me that this is a lesser value of experience than seeing it snow while one is in a giant pool sized hot tub. the second is a legit picture in my head but having your sister then like a preteen tell you those two over there…damn the ooptics not working…not… were having sex. I mean I have to say that whole idylic thought is still polluted by that just as it was odious visiting the amusement park to see by signs that I’m literally mentioned by conditions medical to be too old to have any damn fun there. which is just like hearing that warning of the put a lil pep into your pole cialis for men commercial saying only my doctor can tell me I’m healthy enough to have sex. I’m saying that seeing 47 1/2 girl in line after the obviously 50 inch boys getting someone to try and toss him off the ride? I may not see clearly but one head was above the rope railing and one clearly wasn’t. but he hell of others is all the teens enjoying themselves. kissing of all the horrendous things. believe me I am occassionally glad I’m blind… I missed on purpose i suppose a lot of things.

I do get a kick out of the meaningful moment however full of shite i is where alf garnet in one of his more recent specials says it’s bloody patriotic to smoke whatcha think pays for all the healthcare? a good growth industry. I guess the point I’m making about bucket lists is fairly clear… right this moment I’m somewhat cynacle of them.

it’s just another motel room. as I dream still of a quaint bed and breakfast being the endall be all of romance. I am reminded of what has gone before and very very much of what is… this is the double edged sword of ideals versus experience.

there is presence. there is the tea ritual of japan, the geishas of a few generations ago having a different meaning in tradition to that of escourt/companion. there is the ritual of what about some fresh ground coffee as mitch spins up the battery powered grinder in “city slickers” to cause a stampede. there is crepes fried again with a butter granmariner sauce that is rather heavy rich pancakes but just as I bought the stilton with blueberries cheese to widen my experience food I realized the thought of stuffed crepes and the cheese on the expensive ritz? it aint doing it for me. nor was walking by the el teppehuan mexican restaurant to see it closed just when I wanted to go tween busses only to realize that I went home to get blitzed on chablils without dinner which is very easily done to be reminded of the bucket list I failed to post of my schedule for next month. I will have to drag myself into work.

bucket lists. presence. dreeams and the undeniable pssst! reality here. yes, I have walked into a bar and ordered not a room full of the usual beers but grandmariner…. I’m just a stand out I suppose I also like this notion this week now of movies wall to wall versus dragging my bank account down the street of bankrupt to get unfulfilled elsewhere. I have a feeling I should turn the movie back on and shut up save for pouring another wine to say of course last night ended with this morning’s hangover! jimmy crack corn and I don’t care. bottles will never be superior scientifically to cans. did I mention how depressing it is to try to get a sip of water only to spot the only fly in the room discovered my water cup?

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rediscovering literature.

I told you I’ve had trouble read now for many years. I really did once devour books of any type and with glee. I do not have the drive to as often and yet that old stinky sock feeling of comfort of not being able to remove my nose from a story has returned.

I told you more careful readers that I’ve attempted many books but I think I only finished illusions by richard bach this year barring me actually reading over my own notes.

I’ve picked up “reading lolita in Tehran.” this book is of literary discovery within what we called a supressive society. I normally cant read utter depression and connect with the smaller joys without a dark sense of humor. I.e. I do like a bit of classic russian literature even if the craps too long. but here I am actually hoping for the characters to delve into a meaningful experience I don’t believe I’ve often experienced, the joy of wanting to share with others our letest discovery. there neve were long nights of heady passions of discussions with others about education. sure I have this here outlet to be zanily me. i do get responses. but it is rare to share a common experience. to connect. perhaps I am hooked and keep turning the pages.

I also am at a profession loss lately for reinventing the wheel which isn’t a great idea considering my culture and the resistance to change….yet the mood is less and less participatory. I do take joy someone bops a ballong that normally wont. and a few isms i can get them to repeat of who they are. I have upped my campaign for interest to seemingly no avail after months. that lone aspect is a bit of a disappointment despite almost genuine enthusiasm on my part combined with a daring to try little new things….which means my progress isn’t fast but if I don’t lose patience, I will likely succeed. read above now and see if i seem again to connnect with my passions and remember however useless they are as professional activities, the enjoyment of reading and discovery still can be mine and I am trying to share this although, tv watching literally is still held in more esteem as a known habit versus mr likely to read something inappropriate ‘s literary hours. “the master came unto us born into the holy land of indianna. raised in the mystical hills east of fort wayne” this goes over like a fart in catholic heavenly church. the line is from ricahaard bach’s illusions.

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Acadian

some people you just know. so it be said, some songs we just know. oh sorry, this is from the laura branigan tune “gloria” I wonder if anyone catches on that after something like 30 years the one parodied below is a real rip van winkle special? I did catch the line that “will you marry for money take a lover in the afternoon” sure just pas homage to the eagle’s you can’t hide your lyn eyes. but enough of this…

Acadian

Acadian, where’s me pattern gone
waking after eight living sixteen gone
that’s a dream I don’t get now 32 crash and burn frown
I’m well past mental break down but who’s money to vacation now?

I ain’t slept right since september, laying down brings on that dread
living out the day long past it’s death where’s my acadian?
Acadaian, I’d like the right rhythm back
what’s a bed realy for but for some kip
staring at the cieling all-nighter?
sleep’s from the dream time bring back acadian.
Acadian, (acadian) what am I really worried at?
or was my lifestyle whack?
(Acadian.) I’d really like to slumber (acadian)
I aint slept since last setember, be nice to me my bed.
aying down just brigs on that dread, rhytm Acadian

sheep two three, sheep five six Acadian, you’re evil countdown?
sleep might be a nap stolen or full on passout?
will it come from doctors potions or three rums alakazoom.
who needed sanity anyway who knew lack of sleep was the broom.

I ain’t slept right since september, laying down brings on that dread
living out the day long past it’s death where’s my acadian?
Acadaian, I’d like the right rhythm back
what’s a bed realy for but for some kip
staring at the cieling all-nighter?
sleep’s from the dream time bring back acadian.
Acadian, (acadian) what am I really worried at?
or was my lifestyle whack?
(Acadian.) I’d really like to slumber (acadian)
I aint slept since last setember, be nice to me my bed.
aying down just brigs on that dread, rhytm Acadian

Acadian…repeat ad nausium til fade out.
(requires a bit of editing but heck it gets a thing said.) I didn’t reference the tune yet as I have to work.

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Ring Lines

so I like rewriting the hits. here’s another parody destined not perhaps to be classic about the “truth” at least how it seams to play out in the internet love affairs. to an old bellamy brother’s COUNTRY WARNING! tune, “Beautiful Body” (appears also in fb/writing buddies)

Ring Lines

damn how webcams hide ring lines -right- in front of me.
or how they’ve sworn their other doesn’t mean a -damn -thing.
each line of love and forever awaits your next latest fling.
damn how the webcams hide ring lines right in front of me.

How many hours alone this year did we chatter
to you, dream come true about our so-it-goes.
and still I charmed you with possibilities
Neglecting the mention you’re still choosing the one at the end of the rows.

damn how webcams hide ring lines right in front of me.
or how they’ve sworn their other doesn’t mean anything.
each line of love and forever waits til your next latest fling.
damn how the webcams hide ring lines in front of me.

You’re the prettiest one in my chat window
how you’ve hung the moon way up high.
how do I always get nowhere with just what you want to hear?
but another lie to buy you some more time.

damn how webcams hide ring lines right in front of me.
or how they’ve sworn their other doesn’t mean a damn thing.
each line of love and forever only waits til your next latest fling.
damn how the webcam hides ring lines right in front of me.

damn how webcams hide ring lines right in front of me.
or how they’ve sworn their other doesn’t mean a damned thing.
each line of love and forever waits til your next latest fling.
damn how the webcam hides ring lines right in front of me.

I would like to note this was because I felt someone else want to say this, my favorite….yes married… internet love affair still pleases me after all three now years except for the me getting any part 😉 (excepting perhaps a SMACK! )

edits to aid this speaking closer to the rhytm given. it’s probably still a mouthful.

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Linky-Pinkies!

http://www.tripletsandus.com/80s/80s_games/phoenix_flash.htm
old arcade game – phoenix’s revenge. when one could fire TWO missles 😀

http://www.pbs.org/empires/egypt/special/hieroglyphs/hieroglyphs_spell_results.php
one’s name in heiroglyphs.

http://meanings.crystalsandjewelry.com/a-to-z-list-of-crystal-meanings/
the mystic meta-mumbo jumbo of crystal meanings. clasp your jasper close like the security blanket!

http://www.ctiinks.com/products/
halloween is a comin’ be the super secret spy of your little one’s dreams! or just put up glow in the dark / black light things in more colors than you could 30 years ago.

http://www.telegraph.co.uk/news/newstopics/howaboutthat/3391108/Origami-expert-makes-spaceships-and-scorpions-from-money.html
the milennium falccon in CASH. various updated origami isms for neater expressions.

http://www.wikihow.com/Make-Soda-Water-with-Dry-Ice
more ways to waste money… home made fizzies.

http://krazydad.com/mazes/
mazes! some might be amazing… ah you know I wanted to be punny

http://www.annarbor.com/entertainment/food-drink/vinegar-pie—not-just-weird-its-actually-good-really/
the links sounded more michigan this time

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the pestilence of august calamities.

I really had to take an early nap yesterday arriving to bed before dark and up before the sun. I managed to lose 20 within one block of my home it seems for hopefully the last calamity of the bunch. I wasn’t aided in my usual handy suspicions by a swift departue of one of the house folk. I chose to go to bed because sometimes one has had a big big day for a little guy 😀 and is cranky.

I did achieve a fine morning call to be “grounded” at/from work. I mean in the joking way. it was my day off. I promptly went out and celebrated by obaining a six pack of each pint busch and ruby redbird seasonal shiners…. I awoke to a shiner 😉 please enjoy the multifaceted bliss of a pun that is and can be.

bad jokes:
How do you know God has a rotten sense of humor? because! the all knowing invents alcohol so we invent koroke. )carry Okie( 😀

and one that isn’t mine?
so this feller goes to the doctor, whom says I have some bad news for you. your test result are back and you’ve got cancer and alzheimer’s… to which the guy replies well that’s good – at least I don’t have cancer.

please note that I can not garuntee that eithr haha will actually produce a haha. but just like art, they’re subject to comment 😀

I’ve not filed my payment to insurance nor filled my scripts due expiring in september. I best get on that or I court being in a pickle. I suspect my achievement for today is to get my dishwasher emptied, my ehslf by my entry cobbled a foot higher with the addition of it’s second shelf and also trying to salvage the other portion to become the half height eetxnsion forward I need to have a knee high bench. of c ourse I must achieve this prior to succombing yo a nap induced by being a beach bum all day sippin brews in the shade.

for those daring enough, I suggest more in the line of rotten humor. youtube search ‘alf garnett special” and enjoy the 1:15:xx special something from the chairman. for those of you who’d be curious why this is here? because it’s funny. alf garnett is a character lead within “til death do us part” a late sixties comedy of britain… it also happens to be the purchased model for “all in the family” which brings us, maude, the jeffersons…as it did bring us archie bunker. I will warn you that one is going to here slang that may not make sense… kip/nap/sleep however the other’s might be accessible thrrough context.

those of you just interested in the tunes…
king david’s lyre
lost in paradise lanz
city lights grusin
a simple song mbria
cosmic sister dj dizzy dulcimer

image searches
sea pansy
luciferase

both similar in that luciferase is the bio luminescent enzyme responsible for producing the light/glow of fireflies, mushrooms, and a small variety of glowing plants.

by the way lol what got me grounded was the one substitute doughnut lady made away with the liner to my rollie cart. at first why would I just let aanyone do what they want?….um, the lady asked the building super in front of my lack of objection… 😀 but failing to know where property was however replaceably minor got me ::grounded: on my day off 😀 lol. please note that while it is serious even the minor slights, after a week of mostly cover, I did that well but can indeed be better still. it is no joke that 2 or 3 bucks here or there kill budgets. hence little calamities like a block of confusingly absent jackson bills lost sure can piss me off…. the loss is recoverable as it was a payback I wasn’t counting on…. but still. I’m noy as free wheeling this time of my pay cycles. but amusingly 😀 there is something good that can be found within what might sting on the surface. as 😀 you might notice I have a shot at furthering my projects and I’m up in time to get into them.

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reunion?

in a weird way I never quite felt seperated so having a reunion seems the wrong word… but sis does live half a state away and we do not gather often. Mom by virtue of life insurance with a company called forrester’s has now had us to the basketball game and now the local amusement park Elitch Gardens. – today being amusing.

we start the day at IHOP or international house of pancakes which I haven’t attended one of said it seems since my friend crazy lady passed away in ’10 I got the half order of potato pancakes and an order of canadian bacon. hot tea of course as I’ve done far to much coffee bean favoritism 😀 this year. amusement park concessions were a crap draft, a “basket meal” of bratwurst and doritos. a mango margarita made with actual tequila. another margarita for sis ala watermelon which I got most of that got sipped it wasn’t me favorite, a can of beer which seems easier to hide from the children as it was close to kiddie land…and a fire roasted corn on the cob. yes a fine fine waste offifty clams I rode ever area of the waterpark but one’s slides by proponderance of evidence half the attractions were not open in water. I was thuroughly lathered and sprays with sunblock and still was done by three-thirty…tooo much sun but I don’t think I actually burned… I did get enough sweat of ala sunblock in my eyes despite attempts to not do that. I did seriously think I could avoid a complete dunking on a water slide which was not true so bye bye half a pack of smokes which hopefully is the third and final calamity in store for me the others being losing an entire cartridge of brand new ink for my printer at 20 clams, my electricity going entirely out last night but first with half house but no refrigerators scramble emergency… and the usual minor slices that come and add up to where did tose benjamins go?… and this was all capped nice off with thee slowest proceeding rest of the day on a puff here or there which wasn’t bad and far too much of magic mushroom’s pizza heh, oh alright, the place is really called the mellow mushroom…- yes I did enjoy the decor of the glowing mushroom places of the dining room and the pie not so bad…. they were a pesto based hawaiian with banana peppers – not adoring pesto I found it nice as bacon moderated the taste to I might order it once again in life….without serious complaint :D… the made to order mom – bacon mushroom and pineapple in a red sauce…. a greek pizza with only olive oil on the base served with tzadziky or however it’s spelled sauce for dipping. – I tried a bite of the last round for the seperate couple… redskin potato pizza which is predictably likely maybe hell I didn’t menu it… potato, onion in a cheese with a white sauce base. diet coke and limes.

I work the next three days which is nice mind as I get more money. this last check was sundries. and my only saturday off in an age.