Trying sense

you ever felt the avoidance vibe?

oh later! Shhh! (Later doesn’t come but an argument always an easy blame game too if why are you! Freaking out god I’m tired! Shut the :::: up!




choice and approach intersect.


all the caring in the world is not enough if the block is asked removed and remains.


smile with me

because it’s ok!

this is a truth that’s sticky

its easy to lose at 20 years before say my dad sought help with troubling times that eased quickly from ugly times as a Young’s adult at war.  I didn’t serve yet even I can carry that similarity of troubles hard to shed we are similar often in family.

But hoping we come across as ease and trust is tough stuff!

Enduring the vengeance of others troubles is as knife!


hug  just the same as it is to stare back saying don’t you abuse my caring to make magic miracles happen then dump me gone if I’m not a fix instead choose to say um no cure! You I’ll hang about to hug.

or don’t but remember it’s just a choice but the love is not.  Caring is not easy as it’s work to make sure I stuff off the blame or resistance to let another see it’s ok!  I’m here I’m not evil even if I have other annoying attributes


Oh oh!

It’s oh god! Thirty
As the sirens distant wail
To emergencies

The scales lever
Swings toward all equaled
That gravity worth

I heard I’d so fit in
detail asks me ask if that’s sin
Because you seem to want out
Happier to skip that route
And my answer here quieted

Well changes grip me
Maybe I’m timely
I know I forward
But king or as turd?
I sense love coming

I wonder why I fit a lawsuit I never took that forever is a destiny. I lost out on what was a house paid in full and to have thus cash forever back whatever hope I promised. (Agent orange class action paid to claimants upwards of 60k in the early eighties I was long determined fully disabled so gaining that full award is not unheard of thinking yet it was chosen we’d not participate after vetting to be qualified) I know it sounds harsh to feel s lifetime if letdown because I needed that little bit more how rude! I know what it is to slide into the toilet if ingratitude that socio-economically I had to survive this go down the ladder down. I know each time promise comes it’s where is the betrayal too? And to know such is my fault or a responsibility.

Yet I’m to believe or nothing but the above comes to me. Fight each joy forward hoping. Sure in my soul shining out that joy as I control is coming. Such is the vision executed to a masterful plan.

Oh And it’s oh god thirty
For this philosophical flirting
Over just day likely waiting
To see intuition Harry carried
God must want me see something.

The curtains

i can wax poetic or oddly on a theatrical curtain and how heavy material alters a soundscape.  I can talk metaphoric death!  Or reveal here that the metaphor I’m on is boring American  Texas chili red.  Yes.  Chili.  A chili cheese fries o a quintessential chili covered hot dog.  Chili.  Not Nuevo what make pronounce and pay dearly for trendy what’s it slop.  Chili.

i know it’s paprika garlic and beans and or meats.  Chili.

i put many a pot full of these things together for anything but chili.


now I have made chili and?  It’s paprika garlic beans this time with sausage and?  Chili.

i do intend as with all questions answered to question again if I can’t manage this as a no bean chili thus truly allowing the chili cheese fries and or hotdogs of true indigestion.  But that I’ve the “taste” makes me happy.

other stuff also makes me wonder what I see.  Like a work/life incident here where it took a month was it nearly? To sort out why the owner knew to bedevil one of us.  Well I got my answer as awoke missing the full incident.


i also sense blood in my waters and I a piranha. But vagueness prohibits me to say … Heheheh




Magic…. explained?

i saw with my tongue and etc the magic of olive tapenade over the hummus gracing a chunk of red pepper.  I made hummus before and a bajillion bean soups.  I have thus a package of chorizo thawing in preparation to create gas on a French scale of discovery- they invented flight ya know if we skip the unsubstantiated mythic Daedalus stuff.  Don’t you dare! Icarus my food now.!… oh the puns!  I do have to produce as that like so so adds yummy.  I’m just so magically going to be at a place offering produce for sale as they offer an optical department and I slept my glasses broken.  One is not supposed to sleep upon the glasses!  So- to explain the magic, I have:

chorizo which is sausage with paprika.

red beans dry

and for produce I’m liable to garlic onion

i have other reasons to be on cloud nine but 😉  (butt) I’m going to bubble up gas production and do so with male glee.

i need the garlic because it’s known as an aphrodisiac!  Despite how few want to smooch garlic breath.  (Lowers digestive complaining garlic music to a wife’s ears a guy who shuts the hell up.  Aphrodisiac 😉 )

can you? Do the magic?

( a joke!)

for thumbed nose “proof”  (the joke here isn’t some evidence perhaps leaning to support such proof talk but that the educated may spot who I choose to rely upon for this evidence of a: garlic is considered and aphrodisiac which is a poster of no scholarly value, b: that garlic lowers digestive complaint is a thoroughly biased site upon the subject 😉 )garlic is good,


the olive tapenade hummus against red pepper (bell) chunks is good as if It says soup with a drizzle/garnish.


the heartbeat of tv tunes caresses corners awaiting the hiders.  It’s a trap!


The oven breathes alive mini corn dogs.


I know ive been grown past as a dream saw sunshine.


Glint or gleam

The light’s textures dancing

a sip of grey lit mem’ry

rain against dry fancy

——  ——

the rain let’s the glass of red dance in the light.  But it’s not a glass on a fall day.  It’s  how a night after the last drip rinks on the whispering everyday sundae cones are worth the waltz and or weary waddle back happily huffing sweetened cream.  Chocolate and etc.


Green Lighted

Joy is the daylight

beacon shining on promise

that happiness right


i would post a rambler through Kansas and still might because I was and am intrigued to have the fun options new! If known thus old of what I should and shouldn’t include.


i made salad trying to ‘boat’ with romaine… and as I’m out of my heaven, blue cheese dressing, I made a spicy Thai type dressing.


I didn’t love it… the dressing…. the peanuts driwned out and now aromatic ting save bland oil… Ug.  But it sure pleased the guinea pig that got the pictures plate! :). Remember joshy, it’s okay to accept your effort not that Rembrandt notion or bar you’ve somehow in mind!  It was perfectly executed why waste the salad chance and a fun different take on dressings than the typical it’s fairly pretty for dying produce… 🙂


i was on the tour kansas notion because because I missed putting cheese to this which would so clash with peanuts lol and the spicy note would better have been served not with red pepper flake and smoked paprika but a proper pepper jelly or better still, a hot sauce.


anyways kansas is flat and that is that… but take a quick link tour to see notions fact checked.




florida (…blue humor notice…)


in seripus food realities- thinning Pb with a dash of sweet heat I did wonder about jalapeño wine as vinegar now!

I do like their mead too.


With at least four pepper type jellies!!

now im making green chili


i hope it becomes tasty Colorado remembered because 😉 eff kansas if you comparing it to righteousness Colorado 😉

hee hee



there is no picture because I’m constrained not to destroy the food or remember my phone while cooking can actually be be charged… 😉

It was every fail going! 😉 I didn’t purée my peppers so later I had to strain up all the chunks separate most of the meat cubes most not all.  Same with the potato cubes…  then mash the pot bits which gave the texture I remember.  I couldn’t get anything newer than expired April 2017 canned tomatoes so had to get a small can of tomato paste with roasted garlic.  I made the roux of flour and the vegetable oil and on too hot a flame so I got the red I wanted… angry ambered! … green chili. Red performs like darker rouxs barely thickening unlike lighter rouxs …  thus I don’t have gel goop green chili but a rich reddish stain of indigestion!  It’s hot.  I like it.

And I froze some.

its sad lol but joyous to keep limping into the finish line of the monthly choices but 🙂  ismile still each step forward or back 😁🙃🤣

The right ways are to roux first or early in the cooking process. When burning the chilies to the desk in and or Dede’s not just burn whack off the stems and toss in… or at least purée! If so… tomato paste isn’t diced tomatoes but it’s there and that couldn’t be helped the check oops every can expired… or in short – lazy josh gets hotter green chili 😉 and or the hot Latin spirit shows if the cook was angry the chili gets hotter as one misses steps vital to moderating heat ;). Just in case you wanted to know this maybe truth 😉


just like duh chili Colorado or  green chili does come more from New Mexico than Colorado even if the expensiveness of green chili is seen in Colorado.  It’s okay to make fun of the other states because rah rah rah on yours but do so knowing that there is merit and joy all over? Eh?  So you’re just being olde world backwards socially not actually ignorantly mean