a chance at behaviour

I’m curious now.

why do I hope despite THAT?

because it can be?

http://laurendaigle.com/site/music/

song:  Trust In You

smaller genre of music so note a different not slap a youtube up but a proper site.

I was listening to that on the way to miss my flight home.  I find it amusing that it’s been all day wondering if I miss perhaps sickness at home, enjoy MY moment as it’s never two days off in a row.  or is it just to say hi to one of the neighbors just happy…. I don’t know. I am “returned” in a way / reset FREE! went shopping for chocolates.

-so,-

Sketchpad time!

why? between this and a book reading, its too late to do anything and it’s barely 10pm

 

 

 

Denver Town

I made it to Denver town.  I sit here in a robe waiting on laundry.  It would seem I am not to fly away from Denver town!  .

I made it to the downtown scene to a rugby game where England somebody against Ireland somebody went after who made whichever cup…England let another bunch of upstarts and rabble-roussers to their prize.  My second step in was y favorite downtown haut and favorite tender there.  it was nice.

 

This is Kerulian Photography and My aura’s 3.18.12 and 3.18.17.  yellow is new and yes I do weigh 40 less in the new one.  t

Kirlian photography

Kirlian photography is a collection of photographic techniques used to capture the phenomenon of electrical coronal discharges. It is named after Semyon Kirlian, who in 1939 accidentally discovered that if an object on a photographic plate is connected to a high-voltage source, an image is produced on the photographic plate.

Kirlian photographyWikipedia

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Kirlian_photography
it would seem that the colors are manually chosen… heh there went so much of the magic ;).
I mention this as the gal who was my gyps ” psychic” ree too well to the aura thing.ader, didn’t tak  it would seem they change often.  heh.  scientific and ever changing… yep add chosen colors and…voila!  different meanings.
🙂  the reading said I had blue auras and the aura phots yellow 😉  hmn hmn?  you’ll see neither were wrong the photo shows blue head energy although my photo scanning didn’t let you see that such was true.  my card was the condor- in a way meaning I’m too close to a situation.  I must step back.
etween shopping was at
some in b

an ear-ing about it all

#peoplewatching, #spirituality

NOT.  I don’t hashtag! who in their twitter soul hash tags?…don’t answer that.

I’m back from my doctoring.  I had a primary car 3 monther, and my monthly this time with a np at the specialist.

the doctoring is a antibiotic for kicking a vent tube on a gas island I missed avoiding. a lessening of atenolol adding amlodopine? sorry cant remember them all instantly.  to aid in bp control as i don’t wish libido”” issues with atenolol.  don’t ask too many questions and this won’t become that awful of a TMI. 😀

I return in a week to view progress  with wound.  .

I heard he’d prefer different and more blood work than my specialist orders so 😉 I will note a switch for next visit utilizing a combining of information/draws at the other facility. 😉

the hallmark information is this:  my bloodwork is ridiculously long and one souls wants MORE…vampire…. 😀   so heres a link to that.

https://wordpress.com/post/dreamtimestarma( this shortly isn’t up for public viewing)

you can see for yourself how change is measured and it’s not easy to understand but if you’d like to follow the searches for reference and learn… I had to do so.

now the real news is the meaning of this news.

I gained neither a pound nor lost any. I’m 141 @ 5.825″ tall or low on my bmi to be actually slightly underweight.  I used to be 5’875 or a centimerish under five feet nine inches tall…or just give it to me already!      my bp’s were 166/104 with 83bpm heart, and 162/97 at the second visit an hour later.  or while the bp choice stopping atenolol proves the point, It was keystone to how my coctail works I am not working with lysinopril to lower bp it failed for that years ago however it is kept to moderate protein destruction of my kidneys.  -water pill and lysinopril is not enough to do it.  marjoram oil instead of all that isn’t enough to moderate the works and quite frankly I’m HIGH as a kite fogged out ingesting it   but it most often seems not to “kick in at all”  or, if you think i never tried alternative medications, think again! 😉  reference guide to essential oils at 35 a book copy ish not including shipping is a beautiful book i memorized about a 1/3 of during oil sales time a decade ago.  I simply didn’t hit upon a magic result with it tobalance my isssues.  please do not think it’s crap, I failed to balance my issues with 10 years of highly trained advice utilized to a result as well.

now the kidney doc was to meet the new nurse practicioner- I don’t mind at all! I’m past needing to doc all the time and have cliniced most of my adult life- I’m happy with the feeling i got the best advice i could find and did with it what i was able to chose to and such not.  so he gave me the look over as to why i’d pester a pc to alter my medication.  quite frankly i don’t care to always honour chain of obvious command.  I’m a butt sometimes.  so I purposefully asked the first doc before i forgot that i don’t wish to take atenolol anymore and why… I don’t need e.d.  hint i’m not arguing this you and I both know it does bother that and i have it so find a different approach.  remember too this is the same doc who asked me why i was on atenolol at all before to which i said it seems to be the only thing that works the system to effective moderated control. 😉  it was a weird thing not wholly unproven just weird.

now I know you may not care but this all comes with the bloodwork. link.  you want to see why i’d quit beef and pork consumption regularly?  go see just two result sets with a partial third and fourth history hinted at.  you’ll see.

so, I’m going to be due into the kidney specialist month with this progress and the expected end of easy gains monthly all year however, this is far better than dialysis.  I’m due in minus issues quarterly with the primary care doctor.  if this lesson as in on kidney specialist, clap for joy.  it’s a measure of returning health.  i survived 18 months poorly without prescription insurance at street price meds 1200 or more monthly usd and I didn’t always make that.  and like have rent and such ;).  this means i had to keep alive.  broke.  please note i survived. not glowingly nor thrivingly but survived..    please note moving allows one in the usa to change medical insurance within 30 days so call after it swiftly!  I didn’t know and missed many a deadline not knowing.  I also would have moved sooner too but that would have denied me the longevity on the job and my shot at being the boss even if temporarily.  a personal success to be a director of anything at 40.

I met a younger black lady at the bus stop and her shout to a friend and got the joy to hear what they chattered about. it was a blessing.  rarely am i allowed that much even not really participating.  I got in a few quality jokes …well lets rephrase, the jokes sucked but i got a smile and a response 🙂  anything new? no.  anything old? twitch. everything! 😉 :)…. your name? on the card.  no responsed….. well hopefully it fits me or I’m in trouble …. no response… it was my best joke! and i didn’t even get a smile!…that line did work 😉

I can be deeply sarcastic 🙂

the last is I got me a tipple at the booze shack because I’m shameful.  I was allowed and offered to await my cab inside because i purposefully came in with a lot of sacks of stuff and said I’d be awaiting a cab but place my things on the counter to not look a thief on the prowl.  I said I simply didn’t want to knock over a wine bottle accidentally but with that usually wrong inflection meaning that’s just a LINE.  I’m just seriously used to proceedure and don’t care anymore.  I was puffing so couldn’t be inside anyways.  later on a stroll to something else…you’re still waiting..yep appa  what’d you do wrong? apparently i’m not pretty today.  you know damn well that’s a trap of a line uttered to any gal not seeking your or whatever 😉  so my response best as i could herar was not falling into that trap but trying also not to laugh because I sooo made that one difficult 😉  of course acknowledging i could put one over on her….;) rub rub rub it in.

now I know your pie that today only sells personal pizza sizes at 3.14 unlimited toppings.  uh. deal?  couldn’t go?  dangit.  i.e. i had just been to iron bank coffee for my dark chocolate and raspberry latte after an arby’s for chicago something sandwich…which is like a Chicago dog wi.e. banana peppers with the sliced beef …only reminiscence to the “style” at all past the soaked beef/dippable thing.

Jimano Pizzeria – Englewood Colorado

“Italian Beef” Sandwich – they delete the what it is.

https://www.jimanos.com/wp-content/uploads/2012/03/Englewood_combo_main_catering_web.pdf

warning, this takes 2 minute to load.

What italian Beef IS

An Italian beef is a sandwich of thin slices of seasoned roast beef, dripping with meat juices, on a dense, long Italian-style roll, which originated in Chicago where its history dates back at least to the 1930s.[1] The bread itself is often dipped (or double-dipped) into the juices the meat is cooked in, and the sandwich is typically topped off with Chicago-style giardiniera (called “hot”) or sauteed, green Italian sweet peppers (called “sweet”).

Italian beef sandwiches can be found at most hot dog stands and small Italian-American restaurants in northeastern Illinois, southeast Wisconsin (notably Kenosha), Northwest Indiana and Indianapolis. However, Chicago expatriates have opened restaurants across the country serving Italian beef, Chicago-style hot dogs, and other foods original to the Chicago area.

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Italian_beef – Accessed 3.14.2017

for the arby’s  limited time offering of a chicago style sandwich.

http://www.brandeating.com/2017/02/arbys-debuts-new-chicago-style-beef-dip-big-city-sandwiches.html-

I will note the gentleman registering me failed to note my potato cakes order as i don’t adore curly fries and also i did fail to catch it at ring up andnoting it later he failed to alter it accordingly…boo.  atop which didn’t accept cash ($50) against bill (many places refuse over 20’s) which annoyed me even further as his stated reason was of bogus bills.

so as you see, 🙂 nope to your pie trying. plus i’d have misssed the bus.  it was already five and it would be another hour wait as was chili out.

the nice older lady lent me seat space on the bus with me looking I could use it sacks and such.  wasn’t a coffee drinker – I had just purchased a try for a new coffee to me rwandan f/t direct trade whatever decency in sourcing in any event…grumble, higher cost to ME. 😉  but at least I go to know I put some goats towards a rwandan collective grower. 😀    the tasting notes promise citrus peel, bergamont, and persimmon – please note this is a rift valley to my limited geography remembrance area meaning all through it and int yemen and beyond the coffee has a distinctive lemony tone/s to it  citrus peel….lemon tone… bergamont…distinctively sweet citrus tone remeniscent of earl grey tea which it famously flavors,… persimmon… an orange spice also citrus tone   or this may lie about the lemon but not the overtone/citrusy ness.. but it is new to me i have and love kenyan coffee’s tendency to taste almost blackberriey lemon.  and ethiopian also in the lemons.  i now soon can add to this with an orange? perhaps??  but this lady drank only sweet southern usa style tea.  I mentioned mine were formosa oolong and lapseng su chong.  both unsweetened by nature and offerings   the former being a “peachy” tone with some grass to it – it is an extra fancy grade to get that and thus ungodly pricey seeming to standard tea prices but http://www.marktwendell.com  offers an array of teas  and i delight that they have a boston location….everyone in america should get tea. from boston.  which is a haha as this country’s independance memorably includes the ‘boston tea party” which is a bunch of rebels then dressed up like native americans and dumped tons of tea then outrageously taxed into the boston harbor to protest. tea tax or no taxes without representation.  a critical point to us independance.  please note the whiskey rebellion of seventeen ninety four was swiftly stomped as in to say no tax without representation doesn’t mean NO TAXES.  sorry boys.

and thus you have most of my day people watching save the last more spiritual

I walked into the cvs for my pills and meter leaving without a meter i had a script for and meter behind the counter too as they had 2 people working…and no time to run the insurance stuff for pricing.  i did NOT like that answer and said so directly “” and made sure it wasn’t person but bothersome i can not afford to visit any old day because of them. I’m able to visit tuesdays and saturdays and really not always both, I don’t have the money or time.  it’s 3 hours to and from walking add an hour waiting usualy here seemingly to get my stuff so imagine i have a legit reason to note timing.  I have to pay 13 a ccab to get there. each way I make 8 an hour and i’m luck t. i work five hours a day.  I can’t pay day’s wages repeatedly for their issues.  I note this.  i didn’t lose my composure but I also didn’t entirely fail to clearly say this it is MY time and money.  so in that respect i at least improve consistently with different approaches to getting myself spoken out for soon enough up with results damn it! 😉

wearing a darker plaid double thick shirt means something to the prison just out of hey can i bum a smoke? crowd.  no offense 😉 I think I knew that hating this gift that functionally is one 😉 bbr otherwise! it was chilly with it!  but entirely the wrong fashion statement. 😉

and thus you can gauge for yourself some more of what i actually “see” or don’t.  as to speaking up- I got a cab saying i need a credit. cab and the cabbie sent didn’t allow for that so i was nearly late to my appointment hitting up an atm but it saved me…20 bucks at least versus the cab fare checker 33 to 46 range expected fare.  sis asked why i’d cab it – it takes an hour to walk off base unh unh! the hotel isn’t no hour walk!  it’s 35 actually but the bus no longer goes to the hotel and twice daily only the base it turns around just off base which is an hour walk.  it’s an hour bus plus another 20 minutes from the closest points to the doctors.  or I don’t have 2.5 hours always to walk everywhere to pay only sixty five cents city bus fare with disability discount no transfers each bus… or wait to pay double for the half hour wait to get somewhere taking 20 minutes walking either.  these things irk me. 😉

so if you wonder at this, this is life.  it isn’t impossible but not always is it convenient.

the first rule of life  or first couple is, it’s YOUR car they are NOT cheap nor do people care if YOU risk your liscense in service to them.  so, if you can not drive, note the instant respnsibility lines that have to be there in some fashion.  this is such a horrendous hassle and expense as it’s a 55 ish cents a mile for most vehicles cost.. this is in town/cities great when your six miles away ish rounding down 😉 so six bucks to get somewhere. no big deal when they don’t make the prep for this a be waiting in the street cash in hand I’m not. waiting hurry UP and oh I’ll be late whatever on your time don’t WASTE MINE. – or i remember well someone’s recent post on don’t waste time or be late it’s disrespectful – it is.  but careful too to note it’s also really effing selfish of you too…. most often no not always, but most often.  I dislike that as sometimes it’s far easier to be courtous .  but firm.

Mining for Goaled

oh as usual I’m playing on words or trying to demonstrate a fine grasp of Spelling 😀  but, goal….3.0 is a whoomp there it is… more like WOMP!  wanh wanh wannnnnnh 😉 feeling post facing the 3rd week of goal month and not feeling particularly accomplished.  so a moment, we have them and here’s another 😉 a kindlier run through 😀

for the whoomp anyways. and now?

womp 😉

(don’t listen too long now 😉 it’s going to loop only in negativities. 😀

Birch Beer? mmmm

brick book? while not the structural mathmatics of material or building, it does get into how to achieve a part of that in consistancy of production.  why this or that is superior for this and that and i can always suffer 😉 mechanics of materials as it too is just doable not as a discipline no, I’m not that good at the math but i can specifically muddle through that which I want to know and of course actually can!

11:11 – Rodrigo y gabriella fun duo on percussive guitar – glad to have should have done the reptile eye album …maybe next pick 😉

Menikus – Foreign Beyond album – fun lil tour of my 2008 ish times and more playable  as i’m more in a pop rock mood than percussive guitar.

ray lynch’s Deep Breakfast album – ah, i still like that song… celestial sodapop.

so

pop like the bubbles

perhaps sparkle a bit too!

exciting! ain’t it?

So it’s Womp! Oatmeal this morning.  quaker brand I doubt and don’t care that I remember it’s a Walmart Special “Gret Value” which they can be …or a tad more expensive actually than they should be 😉  but a delightful pouch of instant maple brown sugar steaming out my previously tea mug.

of course!

https://www.iherb.com/pr/Twinings-100-Pure-Black-Tea-Lapsan-Souchong-20-Tea-Bags-1-41-oz-40-g-Each/70565?gclid=Cj0KEQjwhpnGBRDKpY-My9rdutABEiQAWNcslAwDOg9rfblT5zo9wc9CDHV_d-IpuPZr64SfN9AtUSUaAuPV8P8HAQ

and, the crash to to awake early four something… ahhh.

the night was pregnant

bright but where was the moon…well?

no need to wish, yet.

or, I’m due to my lifetime home town in less than a week and back by this time done with another return to what is til the next adventure.    or 😉 there is no specifics really, only a brightness…. all the ways bright.

(sure beats the last quarter/season of Dreary fringed in Gloom)

 

goaaal 3.0

the third week sees the warnings of beware of new beginnings lest they sour.  I have most of my pile of goodies in.  I enjoyed the birch beer actually a lot, not heavy in taste and yet amusingly birchy in a subdued way! mmm for instance  Johnny Ryan birch beer kegworks via amazon utterly unworth single purchase obvious again like amazon often is yet the trap is i don’t want a case of crud! lol… so it is afterall 😉  I made it through the two weeks of extra duty and here begins my week to return to normal and be on my way to a bigger check friday when entering colorado for my lil pop in.  I did not manage to quit smoking .  I did not manage to remember it’s not a big thing but a lot of little things and cutting down when forced only aids me in wanting more against that aim.  I visited the workplace and did a number of cuddenly new things and  see something of caution sensed.  I can not work for free yet to get past this i must be invested in so I obtain that goal…. the rug was gently pulled in nothing loading i needed really so forces me to walk to h.r. and?  thus alone i wont make that fight – so is this that moment i forget that then others must be sought to aid the goal?  who knows?  I wonder because its not really worth the fight alone as nothing seemingly aids me to be a powerhouse clerk of repute, I did this work 22 years back and started smoking dropped out of first college as work competed with that to force me to change.  speaking of change, I look over all my histories of change/outcome. each job is a new slate of romantic interests.  I’m rather not so sure i don’t have a shot at a new situation friend.  I’m sorry to say romance and skew that friend to mean romance but it’s in a way toward a later romantic point. so in a way while it isn’t it is for the goal.  I don’t get to shine much here.  as in hold out my little efforts and yay so I could use an outlet set where i can do just that yay my interests.  so sadly someone’s in for a surprise at false romance as that’s about all i ever got up to learn – a fancier dinner and beverage evening enjoyed or a typical date yet when i’m minus romance? well I guess it’s just free fun.  why let all of me rust.  I have a feeling I know well my return to colorado spiritual disoveries are to be, I am free to return here to whatever aims i have in progress /paths.  I expect oddly though a sense of revelation even if the logic here is clear.I’m skimmed through my brickmaking treatise now meaning i know it’s white clay, lime and tin oxide to make a glazed white brick and about all i need really know is how to stage efforts collecting clay  sees me only carefully make sure i batch properly to make consistant bricks of it – little to no math appeared excepting ratios common.  oca! charmed no one to play but lol i’ll drag it somewhere lol… crap, might need to babysit or something to get myy  oca on. 😛  I reconnected with old friends a bunch and the warning of new beginnings beware! they can sour is not so much here but here.  it more or less applies to diversion.  it is fine to have them but they are diversions so remembering peace and freedom thus pleasant movement might need be remembered.  it would seem i make no progress whatever on the minutie of goals yet realistically that is not an issue to the underlying spirit of them which is to not MOPE.  I have made my bed and other details and even tried new old things so week two ends with a shift of priorities lol and furious movement without much progress.  week three sees nothing much worth worrying about save enjoy some taco action as i have some yummy hot sauces to try again even if also here i need only get paper proper to photo and upload probably via a picture to work the sales pitches — or week three means that if my issue is station it’s not posession but plugging in- it is worth trying to do that but alas, this means carefully plotting forward times and such or when who to ask.  it would seem i’m to not magically appear first idea first achievements or in logical progression to some distant achieved goal but like I always do land in them surprise!  or I go to colorado to return to licorice hopefully coffee it up with some fancy perhaps which reminds me to go make a belt.  I thus need YOU.  after all. i was right and as such it is a true shame the harmony is that mr social is scattered demanding investment rather than ready to proceed. you? yes i mean audience! general audience, work with me over to the pot to brew a belt.  work with me to the dryer to de wrinkle uniform which was a bummer of not folded as i ran out of time and then it magically migrated not to folded but was helped to the dirty again pile so heh 😉 dag nabbit.  or week three is a week of I spent the energy it’s time to enjoy throu it softly i have other things to see .  what will they be?  as i say I await seeing what i know already, i moved it was a good enough reasoned choice I was done there not as in without reinvention lol i mean the path was over as it was.  i thus wonder as the whole way/synergies  also seem to be with a wee dash of hopeless in the face of deja vu I’m here again woohoo! sees me more to work book dinner or coast.  this isn’t the week of heavy movements but lighter ones.  we’ll see if i am to be surprised.  I really do doubt it which might just be the win i needed  no real hinderance and thus freedom.

gooaallllll! 2.5

I’ve opened the box of Branded Sauces.com’s  rebrandable sample sauce HOT… let me tell ya one drop hurts still… eek.  and see the real bulk risk to actually dig deep to make the best price points possible in a place where this is asking a whole lot of the folks to want into a 7-10 dollar  bottle.  but, it’s less of a dead idea/dream now.  back to finding gallons of water and sketching labels in youidraw. 😀

I posted on the current me facebook a spiritual stroll where it began with the notion that just because i didn’t get lucky with friend’s visiting doesn’t mean i can’t go my own self!  so I did.  I had a fancy coffee with breakfast.  I got a fried egg which is a good start but it wasn’t over medium but fried over easy.  turkey link sausage which with a clump of pepper still is turkey sausage …hopefully in future they offer turkey bacon 😉  hihnt. oatmeal versus grits or hashbrowns, english muffin versus toast or pancake.  .  the fancy coffee was a dark choc hazelnut flavored affair.  it was quite good.   I hummed in my mind some Disney… Just around the River bend… and then walked it.

I asked after my script requirements and got one of them but not all four/five of them  so I will have to return if they arrive this week or wait til tuesday and then deal with that another day.  I did however pick up my current half order of this portion of the month’s pill deliveries.  insulin and another arrive mid month.

it was amazing how fast it took to see what i was talking about and how doable it was.  the impressed somewhats instantly thought of another with having also said similarly about that idea.  lol  wait for me first! 😉


I can’t taste the or smell the scotch in the one sauce but it sure is flames/lava.  so  that’s amusing. 🙂

thus:

what awaits this week is

more label creation as i have reason to get movin’ on it if i want MY chances.

print my trip paperwork for flight and shuttles to and from here to atlanta… so i can return home to not spiritual stroll as was today but see mom and anyone i can cram into a day.

I have to make it to h.r. to see at least once! if i can’t fight it to make progress towards store associate versus laborer.  I am not sure this is any pay hike but it is cash handling and a minor bit of paperwork responsibility – please note i didn’t get to keep pizza hut so i can’t really be wholly after food here either but, I can return in particdial measure to practicing big boy things like ac tual business choices however small and documented results behind decisions. 😉    maybe.  we’ll see, I have about 100 vids or 10 hours worth of stuff to achieve yet.  not to mention practice as i just ain’t as fast as i used to be.  my six month probation ends in early may.  I would hope this means i have given myself every chance to have a chance at a raise …unlikely as i kept a higher paygrade entering this job than it started… and slowly begin being a big more accountable as is counting too .

I have to check on scripts coming and or not and see if the lil tools get back better in place…or if I wait to hand carry a script personally….either way that’s in works./progress.

I have to 😉 want to make a check up chat with the old boss with new stories finally to share and keep up.

I have 11 more deliveries to go, some should start showing tomorrow and thursday. but by monday.

I have a roster of neglected pals to chatter with too.

it’s not quite that new beginning feeling but hopefully a reenergization. – I’m “warned” about being wary of new beginnings lest they sour ;D

or tick=ity tick off the lists they go .  or, such should round out this second week even if not all full time like I had originally written down but it changed lol, but certainly crammed.

tje mptatopm pm cpmstamt;u sjoftomg [roprotoes [pomt tp s[orotia;otu wotjom wamder;istset adroft?  as you can see for yourself, I went to breakfast to a try a new place all by myself, a stroll to explore even to simply hear windchimes and check for litter in the poorer neighborhoold on the far side of this “town”  – I have the guts to face opening up my mouth to say publically smoking cessation I need help if i’m after it but it’s mostly for the same not normal reasons people do things but my reasons as in how can i try dangerous things requiring monitoring and cleaner intake when i don’t have good documented monitoring or disciplines in place? -it is still gambling even then but MAYBE worth it.  heck.  maybe april see me mid month going out to sell products developing now.  we’ll have to have you see.

 

smoking cessation saw me a regular smoker third week of march 22 years ago but not even starting til saturday or it only took less than two weeks from nothing to forever ago a habitual offender.  so if I make that adjustment, wish me luck, I am on schedule to even be?  timely about it in a way… but again, it’s more so to address a different medical issue with a dietary intake risk which duh, I should remember i tell myself to be careful with risk or I get burnt.

 

3rd week mainly needs more of the same with one planned erranding or another to make trials occur, fourth wk is to tally results and directions next plan 2nd oomph month and fifth week or end of this month march 😀 be under way.

long term goals are property for housebuilding or some form of MY place new to stay to make appear.  I can technically afford real travel so i have to get paperwork to do that again.

spiritual improvements hoped and worked for are a continued desensitization of responding defensively as if I own the “failure” or discord/issues   but also improve confidences behind decisions attempted…i.e. center.

constantlhy shifting priorities affecting and effecting this above are:

in a rogue moment to save something on shipping i ended up instantly being able to do much of what i thought months away overnight….obviously this adjusts thinking.

I highly doubt my intended spiritual need is cash even though i still desperately want on occasion large piles… so if ay of the little business ideas turn out to be neat and sell? good! it’s likely not a life consuming needed avenue but a nice thing to occur for me- I’m largely more interested in being seen and meeting people than being afraid of lack of money.  this is problematic in that this idea set costs money and can be derailed by me or others wanting a cash making avenue MORE and working it better and faster than I do/can.  so mild hope I work at this before making it too easy for competition is hoped for and then be a little bit set to take my own chances better.

I do hope i get time to test explore not do or die explore thus build correctly with proof so others can see the little correct steps taken to believe in the bigger ideas/notions.

and. while I’d like to house and explore explore too, i also alternatingly desperately want place and plan or a life to build… so any second..now… I might wish to change directions.  this i hope comes with a better foundation to build from  not just be whimsically unhelpful to my own causes.

and…

it’s night night time after  this pause brought to you by the need to visit tat PLACE…don’t ask questions… just don’t 🙂

Croce-ed Time? (in a bottle)

Seventies FEVER!  Jim Croce’s Time in a Bottle…. if you youtube.

Amnesia lane again for IamPeaceNow 😉

Where does Time go? 😉

all right, it just goes… blink and you’ll remember with a sigh, perhaps.

NOW!  Well you already read i aim at projects to avoid dying of boredom and being set adrift in time.  you may read my blogs on gooaaaaallll or Mondane Monday Offerings 😉 thanks to the interesting folk who conjur notions to follow.

Last Week. I began Holiday coverage ‘s extra hours

Lat month I was juuuuuust about to finish my first month working again here in Georgia-Land.

Last Quarter – 3 months  I looked forward to my first day on the first assignment / job here!….splat 😉

 

Last Trimester – I just got first hard word that the dream of spring was dying.  I still hurt, I still am  “there” but it’s a solo there lol. – the lights are off and the dust collects.

Last 7 month’s? Just arrived across the country here! to the promise!

last year:

I was a week away from this adventure gaining steam as it was time for the new army man here  not me by the way, to head out to basic., the dog was pregnant for the third time and now we lived in an apartment… this lead to adventure 😉

 

Last two years ago I just got my hours MANGLED at work after setting out to a fancy night at a charity function for which i had to actually own a suit.  you see the result of the effort but you probably have zero clue like i didn’t either that less than sixty days later I would be facing my chance to be the head of that department  at 40 no less!  and oh how temporary it was! 😉

4 years ago I was asked if i wanted work.  I did.  I seriously had  months more to wait but, I began ferrociously to put out the whole day proof i could at least smile at the end of it and actually survive it – it was my first lasting job in 11 years 14 if you don’t count summer camp seasons as lasting.

6 years ago I seriously couldn’t predict that I was weeks…a blink! from  my worst heart ache of all time.  I know it’s sad to have to phrase the joy the soul was as a misery0 but I am still left to think on the soul as a relevance forever etched into me.  just a few thousand messages traded, a number of calls and…ahhhhh…then uh? (Frogjt/ alarm!) then oh diety’s NO! *ooooooooo!!!)

 

8 years ago I was ramping up to chase another long since shuffled off the mortal coil…I still remember the lol! of being served my dinner back recast as chicken greens in a meyer lemon which had the very distinct tone of mesquite smoked chicken i had just bbq’d up the evening before… of all the cheek- it came with a price tag!  or, sadly my offer was returned with a bill?  REALLY … the lass died of hinted anorexia and literally was a sack of skin and bones but still hope was there even if my offer?  not taken.

(I went to church even…. bahahaha)

ten years ago I was about to spring break.  I was visiting the ex of 7  or so before and hoping after another in town….a quick look at my last call made was to that person i never got to speak to nor heard from…again…  any one have a wee guess what just happened?…who?.. I honestly left with the hope she’d changed.  I literally would have married her the next year but… just as that was the hope came the trip, who knows ya know?  happiness….and I want to go take all the cdash of this trip to drive across  the country to see my ex, you know that guy we never saw when we had you over and drove across the state to pizza in apodunkville?  good pizza, mushroom, simple simon’s pizza, haskell ok.  well his ex/widow if you call gf’s that, had his child after he patently DUMPED her again 😉  and she wants to moon over the child and the lost love.  I said no.  I had no choice as my tickets were booked to go there but i caught the next trip out, and  if you read up a bit further to heartache? I asked to meet her but found out surprisingly she lied about the city she was actually in and she didn’t want to meet me for coffee as it was too far…. I uh cant drive and was on that bus for sixteen hours thanks… 2 hours and you cant help me out i’m like THAT close!?  i mean what the heck,  ah well, you’d have thought i’d have paid attention but i didn’t.

12 years ago was the BEST date of 2005.  bare none considering i had like two? 😀 but I got the just recently shot me down to come along on a date which by the way?  pattern then that has changed thank god of no dates til break up!  lol.  anyways i made it to a friend’s to be about for breakfast and then drive back metros  2 hours and then about 2 more to the tea factory tour / group date followed by the meade  place for jelly legs lol andagain that portion was a group tour and I can not tell you how delightful an aged blackberry meade is without glowing still.  if you spot a bottle  http://www.redstonemeadery 2004’s blackberry reserve.”  i mean no hope it’s about or anything…time moves on but like wow.  celestial seasonings is a well known internationally avaialabe tea place  too she probably still has to think of me as that pear white tea is. that good.

 

14 lucky years ago i was deeeep int he misery of suspended from ssa.gov  and unemployed getting to take a different one i honestly wanted out butttt? I just don’t think it was quite her thing to pet the cockroach.  but I still remember that face 😀  lol.  I mean the bug.  it was nature night at the library and a oh god get rid of me what the heck here’s a modest stipend!

16 years ago i was just into living for 3 weeks on route sixty six.  the later marry-able one lasted that long.  it was a fight every day.  it was a power struggle i swore to entrap me or jail me.  and went so well i didn’t know how well I had done by myself to make certain my tax returns arrived to get me the hell out of there…  i even was allowed to buy the guy she really wanted beer never my own, no beer in the house.  cool it, i was twenty something too once lol… the same guy who put a meth lab under my bathroom vanity.  nooooo, he didn’t manage to land in jail las it would turn out noooooo never could see that coming nor she falling out of contact with her best friend his later ex…permanant live in gal pal ….hmn. wonder why?  chance to step in line?  nope. jail.

 

18 years ago  I was MONTHS away from my last major job in customer service telephony work and the longest job #2 i ever had.   I was just meeting my second assignment of volunteerism at this place because i ran into not surviving a tbi patient actually getting riled up upset…it didn’t lead to harm of either of us but i was …not there anymore poof!  so began the romance never fruitful of the radiologist 😀

21 years ago  anyone thinking ridiculous priced great scotch yet? – lol I was just in training being asked from behind in a class I can’t miss if I could see something and i glance over and say no.  I was apparently nullifying the major hours spent making a global change to an entire companywide system just for me to see the screen and was being effing rude.  i had to make an appointment to appologize and still lost the job assignment and work for a month. ultimately never working on the floor for them again leaving in June.

22 years ago i didn’t technically smoke believe it or not.  I’m twenty and in then a few weeks i would til now.. thanks a lot cherry skoal.

tenty five years ago I wasn’t out of highschool.  I am about bitterly despondant at that moment as i’ve had a thyroid issue that tends to help with the blues 😉  and seriously had no earthly idea i was about to be finding my prize second gal pal and neglecting to be fatally dramatic 😉   I’m glad but you might wish i wrote less!

30 years ago.. I hadn’t nailed the first gal pal as I started early in life heh, lucky me. I really have been surprised I have been utterly unable to find her via any records whatever since.   yes, there is a forever.  I have always had a problem with forever.      thirty five years ago I learned how to tie my shoes. thirty nine years ago yes i can remember 3. mom said as i got in the car at preschool there would be no more christmas.  I had no idea what christmas was.

forgive a few blanks of years or amnesia lane would really be tragic and longer but 😉 ye can catch a glimpse.