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Dreams after the boom!

lately i think white glazed brick making a facial squaring boxing the round mud hut type construction upon a zero or less budget seemingly yet land paid for, think of how Israel became israel not just did economic boom hit. Jewish diaspora in europe there was high push to move them out of there ….russia etc… Programmes… Obviously too outright anti semetism… But they came to Israel when possible buying lands so when country formation came though they hadn’t a majority they had the receipts… By comparison palestine squatted and while they equaled jewish immigrants in population and got some note within formation of israel, obviously pay counted and one side woefully out economically forwarded… So if you build it right someone’s pissed sure but you’ve a leg to stand on in your future endeavors…

anyway the feels like a refugee tom Petty spinning tune moment is what are? My dreams after seems ng the door slam shut on one path towards them after another? Still after a house of “my” hands. It’s less I myself build it but that I understand how I can keep it maintained within a basic skills set . If one follows ‘super adobe’ architecture add to this ‘vertical wall adobe’ such are legit search terms, yet adds a facial of brick… Ancient mud thing baked and thus water resistant and purdy… One has now to consider the box. I want a wigwam long tent because I want a length of seventy feet ish. Which if you set 40 inches lane now multiply by 2 you’ve 80 inches by 140 feet… You take 140 feet and consider 1 in ch to 1 foot or 140 I nches rise you have 11 2/3 feet rise which in modern ceilings is enough to get up a floor via a passive ramp – to me it’s not that I hate stairs, I don’t, but I see little point to a home I can’t live in when I might need to roll in a wheelchair or even worse other later low health care aides…. Bummer comes to us all most of us it’s failing health. But why not have the house allow for the care as it’s there all along?

whute glaze is simply applied and brick retired to have cheap but pretty brick. Brick is clay kelly up a bit of river type hill and that clay with with inclusions is strong enough to build the modern most city’s building code 35 feet tall limiting air conflict and delineating sky scraper office downtown areas by design. But an acre division land and many city lots still are deep enough that a house that long can fit albeit less yard which I’m a lifetime of limited porch patio life potted plants easier less maintaining b s lawn. Do rock garden or something thus I’m still pretty but I’ve less I need water mow etc. I fit a basic suburbia where more house less yard is desired where I could easily have you pull up a barstool as we await cookery coming or we could amble to the local restaurant row and.or pub and grab something.

wine watching the sun set on the porch maybe jotting poems? A nursice solarium with enclosed green space enough to herb it up, trust me it’s inside to mean all winter all year fresh herbs because that’s a thing I eat all year lol but no I hate bees so having a way to attract less nuissance is more hand work sure bees pollinate but I’ve lived by wasps which don’t and just sting. I don’t want that!

ground floor in enclosed parking. Nowadays this is a triple space behind a door to mean it’s locked against easy theft or vandalism.

the all important of life is easy drive up pick up or have delivered and not street visible left packages bikes so out of sight thus safer life living. I’m not hiding just not being stickers partying with you. Just peacefully in a chair maybe a wine beer or meade next to me…. Preferably home brewed latest! My little house’s beach bikes charging Ed ready for a lake beach or mountain n road after seasons berries ready. Close life services roads sidewalks bike lanes or whatnot there some business choices. People enough to interact with but privacy enough to keep quiet away.

its 255k a local my town now lot that’s about 1650 no home and despite twenty years musing how to press tin from a car panel of its body to other thing like a refrigerator stove etc with thus a custom fit yet normal tech is modestly affordable custom stuff. Maintainable as it’s shelved parts if fitting custom stuff. Or I’m not always able so someone must sometimes help living in a world with known stuff means not making it impossible to understand. Not custom material just made different. But I lack energy and always cash so incorporating these loves of a patio are done within the life I have. Smaller ways to enjoy not what I can’t see far make copies me true but that exist for the plucking.

i mean uzbekistan travel for oriental hand knotted carpets? Possible but I’m on hemo dialysis tied to hospital to air travel and no cash to sidestep insurance limiting my travel hopes to manage costs so spendy. I’ve limited grasp clutch so weil’s ng a knife to cut knots and home loom my own is also pretty but unlikely. Don’t mean I can’t enjoy leaning the math of fractal patterns why muslim philosophy influences the design as it’s anti religious to not enjoy art but depict gods sacred creations as if idolatry places them up for worship in an inappropriate way… Hence colors non natural world patterns no image no nothing to worship just a purdy rug useful. Math fractals that symmetry kept but mind expanding.

i thus live enjoying learning hoping but within what I have with the want of others to join making it fun to have company yeah but so far not have the Hassel of making MY dreams come true. Oh how short-lived romance has been. How annoyed they’d help but not do it all. How I watched each step needed to build.or step towards the next yet the the required building steps never came forth. Shhh. As I said the doors towards futures slammed. Health failed. Money never came. But joy never truely left.

so its puzzle time! Pictures thoughts heh ! Enjoying the notion if the future pets don’t eat the puzzle.

so im not growing a field of linen or hemp spun to cloth! It’s not spandex with silk and wool combed soft to stretch slide and all wool is a bit thermal retaining so warmer in colder places even thuroughly soaked wet. Now it’s whether covid cash comes to update me faster or it’s one plucked piece at a time… I care little now. I still try. I still try recipes even living out of more a reheat it frozen section as I’m too tired to going broke making scratch for 3x costs.

i tire.

i know I fight a year to repay lasts as damn it ones word is ones honor. Love came love left whether I was or wasn’t deserving it stay changes not that love came love left. Maybe love had other dreams I didn’t chase? Maybe I’m a drunken mean jerk chasing esoterism life and not the foundation to support me or others. Maybe I’ve no faith to believe in joy ever present just being… Whatever God’s plan and I’m one.of those folk, I’m forward to more watching. Taking joy as I find it fighting towards it came true but minimally.

this means I troll for affordable colors. Dye projects artists not me may help affordably making my dreams true. Trying like damned hordes chase me to dreams but still. Finding mom hates them drawstring shorts when I’ve been anti drawstring for years. Fund ng joy in the new to me the AVAILABLE to me. Wondering why it’s so much to ask I plug into it via others strengths to versus having to face blocked by my hands mine to do for them as if I’m denied twice.

with years towards a twelth prize win of my dreams as a damned free years subscription in glossy paper of my dream lived by another.

wondering how I can build with what I have to a additional cash generated when I’ve forever sucked at sales yet to go out in life to deliver your package myself or to a postal place…um this fades and no help has became suddenly possible no hordes of readers came to sell books enough to live no independent means or success like that come nor seem today likely. But I’ve 300 readers after 8 years that maybe $30 a month possible. I’ve I saw you in common business models. This ain’t zero it’s just not a living. And I can’t spot my coffee cup to even get round two.

so dreaming forward blocked at every damned turn is a pain. Waiting patiently for joy means joys not there and yikes so I keep trying to amuse myself and build on more joy ENJOYED and the time passes the gals come once in a while and go. I’ve many nice porch night s over a beverage and snack. I aim to push for a lil together maybe games enjoyed even if nephew grows fast time smiling over his games um he’s a tad little yet but theirs cartoons! Parks. Very broke thrown etc things the more annoying and destroyable the better a boy fit.

good stuff. Good times. The slow fight to enjoy now even if I’d a future in mind.

i guess eventually it’ll arrive and maybe you’ll be found on the way. Can I deal with fitting enough to be part of that.?. Can I stand aside as other non fit times allow adult others there time seperate I think so but it just comes to tools made to fit this.

i make far less than others so not being a complete hindrance unwanted invading dog at party time not invited…. Being good as I’m also scarce.

plugged in by necessity life yet independent enough to adore my time mine. Hoping to adore the future made yet that might be a magazine add poem or story made up in dreams

i guess my worsts are thinking I can but badly about how to. I can bake bread but flour loose is required to knead it and damned hard to see and get up. Having a free hour to vacuum and wipe it when I’m not able to do any thing quick means I CAN but believe you me it’s sure unappreciated the mess possibly Ill cleaned left or that we gotta GO now. Hurry! Besides bread anymore however good is free at the food bank poor people crap. Or a fast food sandwich. It never that I can but did it get put away or done well AND fast! So too with a zillion dreams possible, did it get done talentedly as there’s plenty of tourist trap time to be a bumbling tourist truer or comedy to see the new stumble onwards. Cleanup crew and n standby. Or five thousand brewers and jam sellers etc to sell you overpriced crap at the gift shop at the end of your experience. Your days adventure. Made to legal standards far cheaper than you new can. And both better and right.

yet where can I plug in? What can I do more than just damn we’ll watch or fit poorly in low end tasks necessary but poorly compensating? Someone knows better than to aim for just anything. It’s like lawrence the hero rescuing gassim! As he returns with gassim! He accepts the welcome of not just any offer but a good fit of sheriff Ali’s camp -lawrence of arabia, 1962 peter o’toole. Of course later gassim murders another and must be executed thus causing a tricky backfire of fortunes. Not every good lasts not every fit is forever so fast fit fun. Enjoyed lived. But not flour everywhere so to speak six dollar a batch when it’s given away free elsewhere. Yet not living out of a local restaurant when I’ve not the means to support that life.

not picked ng messy investigation discovery but fun still not wrecking but living. Doing.

hmn.not promising success when it’s been allusive. Yet not doing just wishing which crap in one hand wish in the other and see for yourself which gets you a full hand!

pay cash for your mouth and wipe up messes right and or put your toys away! Let’s go get a burger instead of cooking tonight…. Good you’re not broke as who wants always to buy?

who needs a wisher when they need just a partner doer achiever payer?

yet im just me able to achieve ex of my hands and want a life too. I’m not without challenge yet there’s surely room for me and my spaces to succeed!

and not be subject to b s rebukes in the lord’s name I don’t wish to be another’s robot ghost paying and hiding.

but oh gee how easy it is to just pay and grab not build enjoy explore. And such support is to be easy two wanted and so far minimal existent. Never zero but frustrating in that it’s never been enough to build castles in the sky. It’s more important time spent and it cleaned up the afterthought yet most important detail!!! Go ahead and debate, we live by presentation and it starts and ends clean and pressed. Yet that ogre detail is expensive dull poor paying as it’s difficult and time consuming. I’ve looked everywhere no coffee cup lol

and im late to tasks on my day but such is me dreaming after every door seems to close. Wondering how to accept joy in them and that I didn’t not get them as imagined so far. Builders ng not b s promises yet offering still what’s gaurunteeably good.

By Starman Jones

Everything and Nothing interests me. I cook read, write and even have to clean. I SHOULD NOTE: I'm 40 something.

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