By joy I got to this or that littl things and today it’s crap on the walls …what did *I* have an accident? (Overhearing months in the bank is not even a two month balance…. Big surprise there’s some complaint …)

Now I can’t change “convinced”. But I sure can influence.

To this end I get bills, I didn’t crap the walls, I did the dishes yet most of all without anger to the angry.

I get to do this hopeless and forlorn of God as in his yeah abundance providing I’m paying and giving it. Love isn’t attraction built into friendship but how much I’m getting and as I’m billed a million so at 45 unmarried and now a million a year before I can pursue leading a life in… Yeah let’s just say God ain’t coming to this one for the bailout dreams granted capable in an instant sure but awaits ten percent and may ignore the request anyways. You don’t think I suffer Faith’s tests or get discouraged? Hahahaha I do. And yet dumb to some to believe in the flying spaghetti monster makes as much sense to atheist s as to believe in God… To know Trump is worth less than Oprah Winfrey. And Hillary with bill ain’t quite 25% Oprah but what a hell of a fundraiser! Til she lost, Hillary. Point now is aim n cowl at a billion and seacrest the host 750,000,000. Believe you me, judge Judy parlies 150,000,000 to tell you she’s smart and if she believes your claims you’ll win. Ever notice it’s a five thousand appearance fee that you can by previous agreement sign away if you lose your case? And your judgeakes $125,000 whether you win or los? You bet, smart judge! And even a not huge as in I get 1 hour tv watched a month if that! And I’ve seen Judge Judy! My

Same thing American new star singer or whatever Simon is selling too.

Money is there by the rainbows on backlog there’s oodles of abundance out there !

Yet I’m cared for when by true abundance getting evicted, truly I’ll, dumped in love as I wanted belief hahaha… returned used bankrupted hopeless this minute and at a million a year of a standard solution not this one free of this…. I mean hahaha. Faith. It’s possible yet more often it’s just another bill… Wow you can write sells three copies to Mommy…. Wow you’re a heavyweight you poured published… No one listens as it’s not about anger or sex…

I don’t need Oprah’s fortune. Nor Trump’s. And I can even with basic investment …a c fox at 25%returns on a mutual fund fuck stocks directly people! And less than 1%cost yearly of principal invested and 39%in taxes ///5% over normal taxes because you won capitalism or something/////. That’s easy as strippers coo cooing the next ten spot…. That’s 3million to endow the exec, the secretary they’ll screw, and pay the workmen workwomen to do the job! Trust me it’s who is winning cause of you on… There’s oodles of money out there….yes for the office the salaries and money to still pay to get little stuff achieved, if one must EARN that living. Don’t tell me you can’t achieve a world changed if you’ll be paying cash money upfront. Don’t tell me you want to Sheppard use of 3 million not being a free lunch! It’s nothing to oops it didn’t happen your money away. It’s no joke Shepparding wealth…tis a shame most lose humanity worried over a dollar not yet made! It’s also sad that if one doesn’t plan the wealth out it’s bankruptcy as to parasites… Pick a rapstar. Them cool mugs cost much gold and snort much chemicals! Better to endow a charity to next to nothing done than rap! Something other than just a party happens!

But that’s me being insensitive.

Still, quite the conundrum this moment. Knowing it’s possible a ND just getting another bill. Hahaha

Don’t completely loSE faith. Be sad winning the lottery after cussing gods as useless now wouldn’t it? As to transplant yep there to what illness? I mean lots is possible! But it ain’t believe it when I see it… It’s believe it into existence! Belief up front.

Not cussing those who want elsewise. As believe me now I liked and loved many who chose away. Away from any life ours …mine… As such only chases folk away and fortunes.

Attitude I guess. Sure beats a suicide of what God what hope what did I get but a bill! Why be gone, maybe I can lie up enough support afterall hahaha. And maybe I’m right there’s more living than this! And I still prove the point you believe first…proof is later….if it’s to be.

By Starman Jones

Everything and Nothing interests me. I cook read, write and even have to clean. I SHOULD NOTE: I'm 40 something.

9 replies on “Attractive”

Egg&I for a southwest burger as mom had grumble belly annnnd it was close.

Versed makes loopy like you’d expect …far woozier this go versus last one. Got wheeled out.

Very little annoyance though I touched it to …yep don’t do that once.

Pretzel assassin -amber is not a sweet tones beer thus whoopie another bitter amber I like sweet ones…but once sweet Amber’s…Chicago legacy red? Oh vomit.

Church small bun hotdogs? Darn fine afternoon…delivery, no churching…

Glasses had gram replaced and there’s like 3 low vision providers in town maybe so if covid 2 check comes yay and maybe!

A specific silent actually exists! The way that plays out confirm much happiness yet yesterday yesterday me. Contrary to hotel hopes, well that’s dashed, it’s good in a way to have proof where one is rather than dream on hookuh

Bout time to get that outdoor stand burner …it can grill pan which isn’t smoking just cooking outside…. But can roast gold ore which them pyrites can liberate gold! Or without much adieu, the truer cost minus sluice and dredge gear is about 200 before you see flake one and thus proving gold prospecting is great for the local stores! Hahaha

But I can’t afford a BBQ proper/typical so I’ll end up being fully able to roast gold ore and Cooke kebabs!

I sense the end of the era Florida and the hope to regain anyway the position sought Florida. Or bye those particular romanceS. Bye save a visit seeing town again… While I suspect I’ll get a place just mine I doubt it’ll come for a gal pal or any hope of leading in love is going to be a life (over) celebration maybe some taco as that was nice eat the yummy people’s. And I suspect s x as a memory or worse just with ho hum also rans was a nice time of youth. It’s fairly clear the hopeless of the dreams came and left not that life is pointless it ain’t but funeral for the dream it can be exciting. It’s good I’m 6 payments from worst one of two credit cards paid and 8 months if I get zero further negotiation on card 2 and if I’m smart 8 more to pay everything zeroed from prior to starting dialysis but there too that’s a dead dream as I can’t sort 5k a year I can be billed as I get 75,000 a month care of which 18k I can be billed monthly…there’s no 150k a month jobs I’m good at. So leading in love is another aspect of the loves dream to bury

Only hopes all balked past friendly. Yes, even the unattractive ones but a Hole’s a hole and a hug a hug. And even a dead weight tag along not financial lead or even partner, I’m 3 years from a modest means anywhere forward, hobbled as no gov support by rule of gf’s mooching. Gotta marry and marrying is for social improvements not love so I’m shone or ugly partners I can’t afford either.

That’s the lowdown. I expect covid to just again catch me up on bills if #2 comes… But the slow tools bought maintained 2-3 years ought show ready and if I’m right I court only a disappointment not love and best be grateful for all them hugs and a memory hoping before time to grow up

So far I kept karmic shown now up with 5k ratings. Nope 3 heart attacks and died mid cold feet he went bankrupt as he gambled she’d come she shied away and died…bye bye. 7 years together but he found work he liked and they married, I’m unlikely ever to work again and normal work won’t touch 18k a month with insurance hells chance offering a family insurance and or anything a roof or even a garuntee of close match on earnings in case of shortfall or shopping. Now in 3 years I’ll be used to this current and goodboy fought for better but it’s only coming at the bury of any hope in living life..not being kept alive I’m that and we’ll if you read bills talk given well kept alive. Wednesday to see if access can have a patch through elbow so it don’t narrow in fixable eventually like now. I mean today I’m fixed but I’m on fix 3 in a year. . tick tick overtime life… absolutely adorable I face it utterly hopeless of achieving any dream with anyone dreamy or I’m existing not allowed living and now the married number one times last was a nurse with house but he drove and alcohol counseled. No burden no great prize he, but not a burden I’m denied even this at present hahaha

That is faith shown and some of why I’m not sure why I breathe. Sure it can change miracles happen lol but I’m rather sick of 21 year waits for fat and ugly

Oops, my notes give me away. No I literally have a tough go believing my dreams after backruptcy, rejected, evicted, and sick now…diabetes whoopie but kidney failure is a dash hard to ignore etc etc. And yet know fairly by plausibility alone, artificial kidneys can sort the freedom within treatment s just as finances. Easily can exist or come overnight so why believe it’s truely hopeless as it isn’t. And why believe me stuck? Yet fair is God has allowed plagues unending and not this abundance possible just as one too many tries and I’m out of belief gas! I don’t have a good reason to be alive- please don’t interpret such as suicidal I simply haven’t much right to be as pleased….. Maybe some laugh off the sadnesses and await the always cyclic fortunes to return?😁. Maybe get sorted more of the excuses why I supposed ly lose in love as it is much harder asking as dead weight for love m. Remain careful to not dwell on crippling fortunes and also be not quick to judge without cause or proof…or be decent.

The had to go protesting results in stomach flu. Atop the proof I wasn’t well yesterday but ugh today! Those unemployed returning think I’d crap the walls yet suspicious a homeless pal known to destroy property when unwell just turned up. I mean that’s hard if it’s him but I needn’t a rep of filth either nor every sad story going when tough as life is, get the paycheck! Stop trying to cut breaks! You’re homeless so why prolong it? And God forbid I’ve so little time to hear I’m owed but they scam … Stop trying get paying work minus this friendship one way theirs streets! If not him the months in the bank were one or less and surprise I heard complaint. Or I don’t know the of it’s true or who but dwelling Ng on junk upsets me.

And now back to stomach flu likely from protests I didn’t go to yet I get the illnesses yes from others choice. I could be love but if I’m not picked wow it ain’t long before ugly comes my way. This and hoping anyways… ;). No, I’ve no reason to breathe I’ve lost that much and hard…but so what ;). Maybe I fight off bum blames now and fight for me when I’d hoped many who didn’t would.


It’s that spirits meaning damaged that irks me. Getting a referral on a lasting solution to fistula narrowing causing issues. Of course lunch mom likes Carl’s Jr for now I haven’t been in eons. I know they offer zucchini chips so ooo vegetables.

Long long-winded 😁. But shorter is I’m quietly enough determined I don’t get edged out.

I got chinese coming… Naughty appetizer s and a soda, as store time lol overdue. Plus I’m not sure I’m thrilled with this new pay and tip in advance for 20% raised costs
…but I want potstickers. I’m still ew feeling too.
Vegetation is cream cheese jalepenos.

40minute relay to deliver… precisely why I’m not keen on this new world crap of higher cost lesser service. I’m five minutes away it’s 10minutes to serve someone ahead of me and make mine. Hmph

Or order and pay to get there and then they’ll fill your order… Starbucks.

Or you read some guff going my spot but heh whatever. Getting riled up on strengthening their I’m rights when they’re wrongaroo

Fistula repair more permanent…. Can’t help me today as it IS repaired so like good care AND cautious…. They wish to see me before it’s destroyed again but when they document where to patch it…. Basically 2 months from now.

Got t. P. Well enough into late September, got a double Palmolive again well I to September open so I have basics life yay

I got a glug of vanilla ice cream to go with Vernors ginger. Damn fine float. And choc syrup for single Keurig coffee plus tea enough for two months thus only need next month coffee. There’s cup cones for left over ice cream so share company can occur.


Still frazzled I guess, but slowly the months tick by and there’s eventually resolution to this pinch misery of reordering. Gotta laugh, yesterday horoscope said make that first move! That move wasn’t to moon over favorite nurse maybe ass up asking her out… It was to stay home and enjoy tummy bug or if you believe it is demon drink a hangover… At this point I care little but that I’m not surprised by Ill support.

Today I was to be aware it could frustrate don’t blow it but don’t apologise either. Next year October if horoscope is right. Whine… For a bit of true repairs. I mean hahaha agony forever

Tomorrow will come.

Chocolate coffee smiles, ma’am.

And as for spiritual annoyances, we all manage a ding or two. Skinned knees heal.

One thing I suppose I read a thousand times was, it may not be what *you* wanted but it may more than they can afford to give.

I have one such offer today which is housecleaning for sale I’m beneficiary of previous many months gone his left stuff… I can’t say I want such as karma – shady acres… Yet it isn’t unfair nor am I above a mild benefit when I struggled all year failing often on this get a leg up mission often shanghai’d because of others needs met tanking temporary mine. I’m also no fan of ghoulish getting ahead. Yet here I am not guilty nor complacent to my own ethics vs needs….

I can’t see well enough to see if my procedure was stitched yet I had that bandage off by a person who could see and in an area if it went wrongly I had help. You can be proud I try harder to have a leg up.

Coffee might need some refill action…hugs. thanks for yours

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