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Make it like it was…

I went inside a burger King. Of course a major line is now three people socially distanced… Hee hee. I took my time trying to find the coupons I had and couldn’t then Facebook decided not to advertise bk this day meaning a three dollar deal was 6.99 when before it was 3.97, or so regular price. And yet again the bun and burger combo, it’s like something changed again and it’s flat out not as it was…it’s dryer… Compound this that while busy/efficient and by efficient the drink was given so you’d something while you wait… But the gal delivering the order in covid no condiment self serve…walks away not offering…and I mean to drive through….so a simple packet of ketchup for the fries was now another major wait …I chose as I could *feel* the hot fresh fries suggest that hot fresh fries beat fries with ketchup….suck it up. I sat in a SEAT. First time in months! Yet staring at a mop bucket abadoned…the general unsettling mill of homeless further adding to the vibe…I was quickly to a curb. Outside. Ahhh…. Then done, I have known awhile a high homeless the bathroom access is gone on many of my trips…I didn’t check and prayed they still had the outhouse kind at the bus transfer point… They did… No t.p. and this is a number 2 moment….hahaha

Make it like it was!

By Starman Jones

Everything and Nothing interests me. I cook read, write and even have to clean. I SHOULD NOTE: I'm 40 something.

2 replies on “Make it like it was…”

That’s the second time in not too much time but enough to forget the last time hahaha. I’m shocked at the non-deal costs. Believe me, the Whopper jr value meal when it’s not on special probably is $6.99 WITH tax. It just is a pain with perpetual deals everywhere that the fine print bites me. Used to be we didn’t bother with the coupon we coded it as if shown… Now they check? Seems almost like a way to haunt the homeless who might not have the fully charged phone or data left to wait fifteen minutes to show a code. Yes I might snob at some company… I might be a jerk. But I’m aware brutally aware of how experience tends to show ‘sours’ quick. Fresh fries but no condiments? – fail. Walk in a line is expected but 3 people is a 20 foot line and in previous day’s that meant 8-11 minutes and now it took about that…an eternity to process one. Order. To think I’m fired in fast food for not being fast yet everywhere I go it’s like shit corner cut slow sloppy crap service. And eternity slow!

I understand that to mean justice. I mean justice like fair. I mean I can not drive. Life if you want one is often a car. I mean duh, I’m just too slow in reaction to be safe. I’m legally blind. It’s understandable. But can you catch that feeling of damn it I suck but shit half or more of the time so does most things going and yet the line drawn excludes me! Yeah, fair. Yeah justice.

Yet I didn’t make it to fourty five in just any company. I can be chewed out by someone with mental illness for an hour. Yet outside of a job I avoid that! I get pissed off trying desperately to reorder and reset after ruin in romance as if I even matter, yes duh I do but believe me it hurt to be chosen against to not be enough or even think that way. Or I don’t court homeless areas, as a smoker it’s far too expensive in hey can I bum a smoke? I am suburban and snobbish. It’s a safety! But it’s all in ambition thwarted currently this LIFE ugh… To watch how I choose as details …. details… Like I read 83 hours into how to better approach publishing a book…. And one detail of it’s a conspiracy!! Hahaha and my book must published list at $33 a copy when a mass paperback is $14 ish? Yeah I’m not gonna sell well…. Screwed the pooch with that choice set…so you think…in reality, I paid 1/3 of what others in vanity publishing offered. I paid in a pretty book but a so costly one even my momma wouldn’t splurge much as in buy it to bestseller herself but yes thanks.

It’s that lesser reality lesser outcome disappointed when there is real service. Good value. Not being black and or Latino near a USA border and getting hassled by authorities or walking a rough neighborhood and being set up to become a victem…it’s why can’t it go right when I know it’s possible…common even!

I’m not cursed. I am of value. I’m nowhere near the cliffs of oh woe is me. I am stymied. I am sick of the b.s. that is seeming to not get the “respect” of the good deal.. the ketchup like you care I keep you employed and subtle details of thinks ng ahead to all my wants and needs in fast food is the name of that game… To not even in a George Floyd amongst many sadly fear I’ll lose my very life unfairly…over what an allegation of passing a phony $20 I might not even have been aware of?… justice. I’m aware as much as I . Some mi ght say I know shit of what it’s like! But then again that is the same distance of not accept Ed not allowed not part…I’ve always known all too well. Fighting like life depends on you not knowing IAM disabled yet duh one look gives that away! When it’s hiring time that is… But it’s I’d never know you were blind moving me for cheap favor rates (food and beer friend rate). At least until you tried to read…that is

Couple that with a notion God loves us all Yes I’m a Cuckoo Christian for a short bit unless it’s death or continuing ruin of faith heheheh. Believe you me this isn’t a sea cruise lately! Living. Very grateful in that I can be pissed still it’s this much a tragic mess of a kite in a hurricane not fine sailing. But that not all doors are open for us. It’s supposed to reasonated life to fit not be an impossible demoralizing at every turn disaster. Not oh you’re just fine but… Meaning you’re dogfood when they’re after steakhouse prime rib. It is! You. So they think. It’s that! Though how rude of you to say such of them.!. Justice.

But is it really entitlement? * I* deserve! I want. Whhooops you don’t agree and in rare cases though I don’t control others choices I am aware without them being made..together doesn’t occur. Or in a way I must be validated in a way by others? If I’m not your favored…I’m jipped? When if you watch life…oh say mlm life Amway. You need 150 good customers but you don’t invite them all to be your oldest closest friends…yet youre oldest closest friends? Favored! Without some favor this life don’t run smooth. There is less hope of marriage when your homeless or working just minimum wage…which ain’t family money or a “real” job… Less hope not no hope I see homeless folk get together homeless even often! Hence justice again that homeless gets a date more often than I do! Fuck! Yes I normally don’t cuss. That kind of angst to be a part and feel excluded if even that jeopardizes my life. Believe me being taunted through that neighborhood or held up in my own to finally not be verbally baited but actually run afoul of life after I lost a crapton of weight as if I spiritually needed to not be protected as much. To be that less I thought I was/am

Now as I sort out if that’s true… Ahhhhh… Best way to skip a nasty rumor is to admit it’s true and you don’t care! (Don’t feed power to negativity). And achieve success working through and around challenge… Good. There isn’t justice persay out there but there is more joy. Yes even in challenge there’s attitude that can make all the difference. To be immune from this silliness as if I or anyone deserves anything!

Basically this is : concepts justice!- When a better word is acceptance. A scene in “please teacher” (onegai San) – of the non leads has it one is THWARTED in her aim of love in it’s choice… To which…it’s a process and thus the outcome may be tits or dead fish belly up… But there is joy in the journey!?!? Accepting outcome with a fence of focus on joy and oomph to keep trying to the dream the goal.. with a solid realization of it counts sure…. But to be determined on what can be…no in not the whole e coyote perpetually trying and failing to catch the roadrunner….when in reality the coyote easily outruns a roadrunner supper if the bird gets targeted as supper. Or so what Amway this life that romance soured some even if “*I* I felt there was connection or possibly… There WAS joy in the very gatherings however obviously not becoming what I’d hoped…why is unimportant a moment. Or sure there’s plenty of hard low skill work for the chosen….. competent. Chosen. Maybe though as is true for me…I’m not a fast Tasker or often that good for long and in real life to keep it light, it is expendable interchangeable folk to a degree who best fit both the task or the business vision aimed at. Not just any chump gets the nod. And while this bedevils ME and my aims, who owes me anything when they just try to make it livable at work with a like-minded team or the best they see by attributes indicating might consistently work? Let’s face it, with a determined easy, glances, a few questions, I’m easily shown to be good at x things and less so at others and yes, frustrating, this lately I’ve not fit others votes lately…one keeps on after it! Right? Well I don’t or haven’t it’s just a bit much not fitting so well so try to fight for that chance and needing fifth chances fuck second chances! and tenths to get there is no like odds against me! Or pity to realize a life of great ability to be a voyeur of many a group even if I’m never quite accepted… Means my ability to integrate into or create my world suffers without that find friends thing…like work I’m passionate or complicit enough to make other life bloom from. Acceptance. Yet enjoying or focusing to push said goals. Independent. It’s not some other who will make my life but a joy of similar journeys shared. Yet everywhere I see leaders bids succeed in shitty hell boyfriend/girlfriend things pop up with he needed a couch and had nada to his name and yet over and over never lacks a live long? Believe me, justice concepts occur when oh, hell put the concrete float-level floor in then the hardwood floor. He doesn’t yet I truly point out as I was vetted to the same seemingly said I hadn’t it may require a real pro…and that somehow I lack cash or confidence or value that by it’s nature of being chosen gets chosen….is validated. Atop which I don’t own a Harley motorcycle…so we’re not riding into the sunset…which for my likely outcomes driving would be the afterlife….-. Yet I’m your choice of now but the only boy choice who didn’t go on any family holidays … Or I’m far to broke and uncreative about it lately to bust a damn grape about can’t even whine about my foul seeming luck. As if I’m owed? … Heheh. And believe you me it’s a lot to pay non favored pricing in life. To feel as if I’m only a wallet…when another in conartistry never lacks a person to use and I supposedly care…and that’s of no value?

Journey.

Don’t stop believing.

And yet all have. I mustn’t be afraid of endings not be afraid to deeply understand though to date that’s not furthered the height of my successfully piling the gold and jewels….so far.

To be Teflon. Non stick damn you negativity!

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