Straight poem

I hurt thinking on it
Each truth and resulting knifing
My value in your eyes

Have you ever suffered a crisis of truth? I as I know me care as I also dream in visualization a life forward yet I’m not the only one with eyes. I know this is a question of heart versus head but it remains. I know in the back of my soul I both count and I’m not above anything including forgiveness because my heart still aged two hates what I have and I blame you. You? Not! a! person!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
I mean how I generally! interact not specifically!! But it is true I grew to believe a boy leads counts is honored and yet somehow I forget that the real honor is strength to be of service to myself through others in love. Love not porking you over a sofa after shitty music and slick drinks,I mean love agape not Eros yet relationships without Eros aren’t much fulfillment I mean to that of a mate and getting one. Two twelve, whichever. Yet where in my life within that shared with another am I? I fight to not be lost and, of course, lose. Yet where am I otherwise? At a certain point I am selfish- I deserve to be.!. Eros is selfish and without this I’m not in love I’m out of luck. I know that in my heart yet to say such only proves I shove any love away. It’s frustrating as if my voice and or energy is high esteem conversely low.and yet always I’m not right… oh well … it just irks me I’m to be a part of my life and never in this decade have I once felt long I shared me and thus fall prey to short timed love if I’m loved truly at all and not just effing pretty. Oh yes mr narcissist here can pretty. You’ll remember me for weeks because I am. All that. But can’t WE ever be? I almost care. I mean sincerely. I try. Thus I guess I cling like Saran wrap to my hope this is Love this is life and so often the only way out is destroying me not caring. I know no magic treasure exists to buy love or guaruntee one. But yet god! Knife in my balls and another in my face and then A smile slashed over my throat I’m cut out. Because everything I want or could use is denied me but not others. As if I’m Jesus coming or rubbish. Whatever I am incapable of my only requirement. And thus I hurt thinking on it/ each truth…

By Starman Jones

Everything and Nothing interests me. I cook read, write and even have to clean. I SHOULD NOTE: I'm 40 something.

3 replies on “Straight poem”

oxoo This is not the only truth, but the one thee sees, at the moment. Keep looking at that one and it do sucketh. Perhaps, when the other Joshua said, Turn the other cheek, he meant Turn your head, see another and true-er truth.
Hugs for all the cheeks. (-;

Aww :). Thanks but as writing and me go oddly it’s rare it is a life moment if I must write it. Yes it is important for its moment but that it’s written ? Now I can bury it…forget.

I figured I’d let more of the venom of my days go. This is one interesting way I find to achieve this goal – write to forget. I literally used to hard encode much more as earth ending important stuff now I want to be that bit more to use what I curiously noted (writing makes things temporarily important versus associated unforgettable. And hurts really are worth forgetting as one attracts more bees with honey than vinegar. ;). Cathartic release. With purpose 😉
Hug. That was a funny pic of you splattered instead of mud guarded

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