And of doors closing
Hidden mechanics clicking
The new way chosen
I seem to lose all hope I can be valued and good just honest and accept I’m only so much. I already lose one I met here to suicide. All of my doings go slowly and not to plan. I am to risk more gaining less. I am to be happier making this exciting
Insurance lied saying my info and numbers is the same – it is different and a nightmare of referrals with only the company offering pick and choose denial of coverage therefore.
My romance seems to offer goodness and value reminding me I give back same so I lose by default and am this instant bereft of any hope I’ll matter chosen – back to the drawing board of honesty I guess I don’t so I’ll get to sacrifice all I dream of to offer emotion light for others I’m not to find a helpmate just disappointingly be a oneway dream giving all being gifted in return as I am to be nothing upbuilt
I wake many don’t it isn’t sunshine but a grey peace today. I’ll be after yet more fears to conquer and Phoenix-ing hope from ashes again
So on this is a memory in food 🙂
I can microwave bacon perfectly extra crispy still. In memory of my acquaintance leaving the mortal coil, I am sad and made Sazon chicken as it was your magic spice. It was Mexican American but chicken pizza where oddly I ran out of food.
I seem to bitch about timing yet know however cruel life is approached correctly or sadly it isn’t a truer joy.** So slowly to hell hoping I’m an offer chosen even this I doubt it but I’m eightballed maybe but here so often it isn’t a trap just a moment I don’t understand all in play. Hug to you as you could easily tell I can use one and 😉 some dinner ideas that actually are good. 😉
Apparently I am in need of a life so to go raise more of one to share apparently I’m not lucky this instant I don’t know how to alter that either.
** I suppose this is to say it is that the magic as I know see or imagine I see dream etc is not coming it’s just well here’s a lemon be a sweet now. Here’s a victory hollow of meaning. I am to be at once perfect and by this crow silently I’ve lifted mine up but sshhhh I’m who know my non place. Chosen secretly. Hogtied for failure. Speaking of this – meatballs!
Chives cheesey chicken ones and a desert for xmas looked into I suspect banana cups
Am I all grey? Nah I just seem bereft of what to do when the plan is shambles but I’m not without.