where oh where are my headphones… oh, sitting on them. oops.
I’ve signed up again for spam!! I just had to take this there quiz to find out what god save me guru-ing I’m in desperate need for/of whichever…. really people don’t think there is an adequate amount of coffee to awaken me… but watch out, just in case!
I actually like exploring spirituality. I know i too can drop a book of b.s. on then next and or pour an ocean of confusion at least… but today’s hot subjects are forever! and blocks.
sisyphis came up for forever. this means you’ve a choice of assides from mr associative here like chicago’s stone of sisyphus album i believe that was chicago 30 and i haven’t heard a bunch off it…. you have the greek wiki walk to do if you’re like me and just plain forget your greek mythology patheon…. nothing worse for the god’s than indifference as it is all fine in love and hate as such is passion! but indifference or forgetting is a death. ooo bad! and of course I could link what a fine poem i read which I will til i breeathe and remember i better ask first. yeah, whopner in five minutes! rain man….
forever really is a bad word. I do not like forever as it challenges me. I have only one lifetime certainty going with forever…hence the spamtastic sign up spree! forever only counts when it goes against me. aww sad… shhh! you too can enjoy asking yourself if you’ve rolled the stone of sisyphus enough.
forever is this shining moment an epiphany. forever is the past. i can accept my past as i have little choice in the matter! it is irreversable. I don’t mean my forward is a doom of a future plodding… nah. i mean I know what i had for breakfast yesterday and or my favorites of previous romances are still there but so to is the outcomes… i mean i can not change what i had for breakfast yesterday and she’s still not coming back. however, the point isn’t boo hoo woo woo world wibbly wobbler caput! it’s this epiphany that the past is forever. the future is the star trek title, the undiscovered country… star trek six, all even trek movies ROCK. the future is an undiscovered country. to the future! I know this means i just took a big hairy dump on my hopes of one day getting to hear those words til death do you part…I do. because i just said it is unlikely to be anything so idealistic. it can hopefully be many reinventions i hope so it lasts nicely! i … you get the idea, I just philosophically set my self on fire and i shall now have to burn …yes, forever. 😉
block. I know, what a blockhead thing to think! I just stole from myself forever so I can at least fight forward into the future. or jeez! just let go of what left it self true to my then once upon a time ago! har har. but really blocks spiritual blocks. I am not worthy. it’s a hard thing to admit in a way i have ended up saying. there is plenty of validity to that. I meet and am graced a short romance with people wildly beyond where i even dreamed I’d ever be…okay so it’s? yep forevered! 😉 you know a past? I’ve hoped my guts out and still effing lost…. forever….in the past. but why cant i capture just the right company to enjoy all the time in the world for us? I don’t recall hearing I’m not capable of wining. you know the issue spiritually in there but shhh on it a moment.
nah scream it out LOUD! why on earth must I feel jipped when others aren’t me? I’ve paid rent forward after diligently catching up feeling responsible to watch it turn into a car for my sibling who neglected the oil and through a rod just after repairs were complete from crashing into a parked vehicle. you might just find it amusing he very swiftly moved, got married and into a beautiful home as compressed for memories go. I kept my record of rent and even through losing every form of income for years managing to sort out repaying the loss! I am going to fairly note the extra knife here is i am unable to drive due to a slight persistance in inability to park correctly because of blindness. I don’t get to get free cars. this doesn’t mean i get no help just no cars. wanh right? and it wasn’t free it was help and I’m rather sure the greeneyed jealosy monster of other’s fortunes damning yours has come up in your life once or twice or to someone close to you so this is no earth shattering revelation… help comes to us as we need it. but does it truly matter? please note that i am far luckier if I count up all i have recieved… a LIFETIME of blessing financial so far… and a touch of an attempt to responsibly execute them! oo lucky me and other people to their luck whatever it is.
no blockages. why can’t I have truth. moment or moments? I can sustain to a degree useful qiote quite a lot …sorry I can’t read this as I don’t wish to maginify it so once in a while I will mistype everything. … why can’t i hope brightly like the blond sunshine of my hair that I’ve many thousand strands of gold! 😉 I’m pretty too! will what I’m working on be a smashing success? maybe! who knows… hopefully i am plotting… and again have you ever felt trapped?? a simple self limiting block of lack of belief in worthiness of blessing sure can wreck quite a lot of them. or is it I learned to feel unworthy because it just worked out that way?? so so many time after time… cind…cyndi lauper oooo 80’s music! yummy. I know this is worth pondering because in a way it doesn’t matter.
spirituality is a blessing as it is an interest. I can not change my past sure, but by the same token, I am not a prisoner of it. with any luck… and in this case luck is worked after not mythically bestowed upon one by heaven above….necessarily 😉 again the gibberish of doubletalk because so often spirituality is. warring voices to become soon past’s choices. I mean the outcome will make itself known. but have i chosen a smile and or the hope? or have I hung my head reigned? it really is up to me. do i roll forward sisyphus’ stone? or do i dream myself free to wake up to a boulder became pebble?
where oh where are my headphones now? right in front of my nose…ugh! best place to hide things is in plain sight.