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May Have Eight

Okay, I took the week off largely to be underground. I have read at least something from everyone on my lists that have posted.
I still haven’t made anything “exciting” past whomp to me cookery – yet the only things that really worked out were the simples.
I visited town and managed up fake beer on payday to realize what I had disliked being aware of, beer isn’t my thing as I’ll be happy as a clam 3 in and of course somewhere -if- there was alcohol included as most beer has some, I’d be done before I knew it. I also had ONE glass of wine I made sure it was MORE than a glass but not two glasses wth. so I made it 5 weeks technically dry for ONE drink.
I wrote and still add to a manila envelope a wide variety of stuff I’d ordinarily filter out mentioning or sending- either due to size/length, subject matter or whatever – I still actively oscilate with tossing it all into the garbage.
I have used semi-extensively a word processor for the first time in ages again. it frustrates me that they’re fairly powerful but the tricks of how they clog up and or whatnot work still frustrate me if I’m trying to make something past one page perfect.
I rather dislike when my horoscopes seem to be too accurate – this likely means I MAAKE THEM TRUE versus them actually being prophetic. however; I vividly remember two points for two different days that are exceedingly annoying… “you will get some news that will take a toll.” the hostess recently let go an employee whom later commited suicide – of course this lands in a busy loop to the out of town tore she had to visit and ruined both her day as she cares/d and nothing like the usual time to straighten a house for a out of town had time to be done – and I am likely a person best suited to help people but I should beware of my limitations and not do too much today: these obviously are stacked together days but as much as I attempted to achieve, I achieved only boredom. I mean I dutifully ate leftovers, cared for all the doggies, thoroughly vacuumed the house and had a hand in hopefully a kindly word or two – my letdown had zilch to do with the “news” of the listed above but to find out I’m only one more in a string of sweet on the lady somehows years behind most which in it of itself isn’t the worst annoyance but the memory it reminds me of is- that I can want all day long and make a pathetic choice comparatively to many’s dreams…that does annoy me and remind me of so many fish that were pretty as they were slippery – couple this with what happens when gals get together over wine and really share and I see I can’t even offer not a pretty package I surely have some charms lol but overall I’m about execrable for exciting fantasies . or yet again, what I egoically control or wish to extend outwards often isn’t how I’m ever the most charming 0 I’m thee most charming accidentally only or at least not actively trying. thus heh, pardon me for knowing it’s more than a done deal why it takes me seemingly years to meet people even if it’s the same as anyone you can’t believe you just met so and so house a fire together but the time between is in fact years so is the build up to a reliable friend. and as to how that relates to romance, it wear on my patience now that I know it’ll be this cycle and so often when it’s just at that choice stage I can’t think far enough ahead to entangle myself for”ever” as it simply is no where near worth it to my shallow soul to give so much for so little…never of course mind anyone but my feelings…
I spoiled one book for now a lasting taunt of potential retribution – which mildly bugs me it may occur. I am also just as edged as anyone with streaks. just as destructively “angry’ if I wanted to admit I know I lost but it can’t be over, but the spiral is there unlike allowing time enough to pass for it to only beacon versus lighthouse the dangerous reefs ahead of anyone near my shores.
today is mom’s day – I expect to visit a nice place, a german restaurant for dinner, remember the gals wine soaked chats about salaciousnessness that ends in motherhood…why that particular place considering some of the stories…never a first for me really oh so that was the delay truly? naughty people. or hey we feel like being naughty people watch the kids as you didn’t bring a spouse… or something like that crap or how he really really did spol the book, the imp/ass/jerk why didn’t you tell me he had an evil streak, Mom? hahaha, try getting away with anything this life and just wait what’s the subjects of the hot second. I know enough I dislike their version of bratwurst 0 taste like stadium style all whitish ones skin crisp outside and mush inside..I prefer the not real Johnsonville kind in the meat section frozen/ or previously frozen not this newer premium or lunch meat aisle hot dog section premiums kind… so I may have to pork cutlet/schnitzel it. I wonder about the last social appearance out and I suppose I’llnot seek drink. I wont be the only one D.D.’s and all that but it seems irritating to have this and the above to mull over a day nearly seemingly away but nope I’m up at midnight after 4 hours sleep
apparently I deserve to be unnerved. or, theirs candy again to steal…not really sure which πŸ˜€
yes, fo the moment a tad unplugged – figures i’d remember thus this means I skipped 2 weeks of levothyroxine and am in essence blue before there is a reason to invent why I deserve to actually be blue
for Christmas sakes! I won after a solid week of utterly being trounced at Yahtzee, I scored a direct sink a ship subversion book spoilage in complete fair returns for enduring lady’s night smut from f bombing discussions next to mom after dripping rereading’s of the Mr. romance not me and the upcoming or previous bits of salaciousness…then s bombing discussions about how the momma dog craps five dinner plate steamers a day and how deliberately the wine of the evening starts with chardonnay as unlike Paul Giamotti’s character in sideways, who hates merlot, I hate chardonnay- the liar fruit tones wine that just another subtle way of saying it’s gonna smell just like puke pretend to be sweet and taste like puke ..hate the stuff. the Viognier was excelling/ dry dry white very delightful. but I admit I see into a mirror where I be and didn’t necessarily like where it left me on my own map to glory.
I probably should’ve stuck with sing song poetry crap. you know instead of honesty, some things are usually best unsaid…but the hour now 2 is gone. I wrote, I put out puppy pics to the pack to the army guy every little fuzzbals has something to be said of them…this meant I got chewed on licked to death by the blue sisters my eye nearly out but MS thang you will be right here! paw…scratch way too close… lick πŸ˜‰ and cute cute cute…ew. lil piss pots. thanks for peeing on me.
for instance: simple meals means a smoked chicken was gotten from the store as emergency against 2 extras being present at last call. Before hostess was home from business out of town… so today she deboned and chunked it0 I took the dark bits with some white for the dark haters and mixed this into a freshly made box of near east Spanish style rice pilaf slapped on a tortilla and a lil mound of sour cream and pretty fish taco garnish “salad” and such was dinner. making leftovers stretch and turning a quarter chicken into a meal for two. your call if you wanted it as chicken and rice ala almost enchilada or played separatist. I mean I took a nap to awake to the rain…and heh how I blew the ending. I swore I should’ve cried myself to sleep for the glee of it all..i’m being exceedingly sarcastic here but not necessarily wholly honest, the weather mirrored my day, grayish save for being an unmitigated ass about this opening of may…not spring but sprung busted with snow, boredom rain just in time to spoil another day…I mean ug… I could eat three of the gift taffy heh and induce a nap.. but I bet I’m up for the night.

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About Starmanjones

Everything and Nothing interests me. I cook read, write and even have to clean. I SHOULD NOTE: I'm 40 something.

10 responses to “May Have Eight

  1. you spoiled a book? i don’t think it’s a hanging offense anymore.
    way to go on the dry. nice work.
    i’ve flipped the bird to a few of our horoscopes lately.
    that girl didn’t commit suicide because she lost her job.

    • I may have mistyped that- the suicide was a string out returnedto using male my hostess his boss canned and yet otherwise lol, you’d be right…it’s not quite others fault always what we choose to do. bit of a pity I know all too well the path to that dark side- the feelings or earlier in life the exclusionary ones…even once the pure hell of why Ritalin is a controlled substance- one’s cheese of emotional control slides right off whee! mania…with it’s cousin paranoia.. but aside from this I’m only a touch crazy πŸ˜€ as I said, it’s rather shite that if I felt like blue and it’s “all my fault” it’s likely a very highly defined time til the reason it’s my fault has been selected…which is one rare logic point I posess… how can it be “my fault” when the reason comes after the feeling? anyways, I can use more sunshine, I may enjoy that after dawn πŸ™‚ as to being a complete imp I still take great glee in that barnyard whiffy move of book spoilage πŸ˜€ – I suppose this isn’t necessarily logical, but I would swear to one thing learned by shadier obvservation that one to be endearing must elicit passion – lord help me impish behavior likely breeds fire or fiery times and reprisals but it sure as shit beats sitting at a table to hear of others passions over time alluded to salaciously to figure out no wonder I get laughed at for my pathetic visions fantasy wholly flip the channel boring to borrowees of fulfillment. nice is boring, boring is boring so to a limited extent i’m well aware of how to be infuriating for the moment πŸ˜€ now again never you damn well mind that statistically this ploy makes fine chat and has resulted in precisely s zero scores… because it’s perfect logic, ya see πŸ˜‰ yes, it’s irritating as shit to see I’m late to the harem of my youre wonderful oh well stranger things like whatever would it matter if I fail to snag the prize? I have a lifetime of snarkiness and book spoilage to attend to sure as shit beats pining my never on sunday love life…connie francis song…and never mind the rest of the week for that matter – because here’s the clever bit…yes, giggle… if one finds happiness, it’s rather contagious it inflates confidence which in turn is a surefire attractive point so even if book spoilage is low grade evil πŸ˜‰ done well it leads to smiles…and is sure as shit memorable which at least leads to further interaction πŸ˜‰ more than likely not a hanging but I’m sure I will pay…likely in the most evil for me manner,someone being sickeningly sweet interested in me only as a tease…heheheheh, I probably should hide this page so as not to influence ideas πŸ˜‰

  2. I feel badly I have not completely read the whole post — it’s late and bed calls. The eyes want to close (and I’m listening to this on spotify https://play.spotify.com/user/spotify/playlist/2X8zvf8ZpILGP6MOTepglk — if that works at all & you have a spotify). Anyway the music relaxes me… But I wanted to comment on what I’ve read. Are you attempting to not drink very often? Good for you. I drink myself but probably no more than 6 times a year.

    The suicide struck me, of course, they always do. A quick pain, a pang. Of course depression is what causes suicide – no matter what else has happened. I’ve faced the darkness so often 😦 .

    Ruined a book? I may have missed something. A book you are writing?

    Love pursuits… gah… Good luck. They say plenty of fish in the sea but I’m not sure about that myself. At least this what I think you are referring to. And then something about a German restaurants and moms… ? I’m sleeping. peace & goodnight

    • okay! πŸ˜€ inEnglish – just For YOU :D. that was a simpler list of the happenings. for it to make more sense, you would have to know: I am staying at the Sister’s Mother in laws. I like the MIL andthat would seem odd considering age and circumstances as you might imagine instantly this one is old enough to be mom and in the usual senses of human beauty probably appears to be nothing more than whom she is, yet interest doesn’t for me work that way- it most often is WHO you are not persay what you look like and mm to who she is. okay this won’t work out for a thousand reasons but such is luck snaps fingers yet hmph here I am. …add to this now that there are a few classic reasons of circumstance and that would be ignored by me as so what but add the not anywhere different reasons of interests returned which aren’t toss outs but important and fundamental, and i’m late to a li circle of admirers some higher than I in life’s abilities and some lower but I’m LATE as this person invests over years efforts in folks and is obviously in zilch rush to jump into anything but a smile. so in effect, I’m being 14 with my head up my ass and past a fun time and wrong line – I’m probably just as fun should manners be minded and I remain “cute” but ticket taken to real street, I have chance zero. but I can pass time anyway I like within reason.— as to the conversations: over wine after returning from a business trip to the border of ckansas and Colorado or a 8 hour ish drive both ways overnight long long day right after hearing about how a recently had to be canned employee in a short time unfortunately had the drugs get the better of him- but in better years, the hostess/mil stood to his wedding, he directly mentions her in last second suicide moments of correspondence and she had to call his first wife because hostess felt one should know… well that’s the backstory to the conversation- having been up since the buttcrack of dawn and the sun is setting now, she arrives to company… I’m here but so too is my mother and sister… originally it was to be just me and kfc traditions continued- a rarer take out after a do one in trip- well no. it was a glass of wine and sex talk aherein I had to hear the truth that many are rather inventive or athletic in their passion pursuits- one allusion is to any counter’ll do/ MIL after sis asked if I’d been aware of her husband and su ch sthenanigans no not that I’m surprised and that she’s not into kitchen tables… tmfi… and somehow this leads to the revelation of the chosen restaurant – http://www.edelweissrest.com/ which we didn’t hit as sis didn’t get a reservation to so we really hit a texas tbone named steak house…but this story hourled to the mechanics of a squishy airplain and how on earth would hers/hother in law’s boy fit into such a situation mechanically he is a tall boy at six foot eight/240lb down ya may guess to make weight to join the army which he just did and they all seek to make his graduation from basic training to be a full soldier even if his job training is additional and next, he is a soldier in 3 weeks. well, I left this conversation as a: the wine sucked ass I hate chardonnays and really isn’t all that big on hearing sex 1-1 when I’m not invited to the party…what a pooper I am! :D- they follow and it’s then about the s bomb subject then about how the nursing momma dog…why I’m even here at IL’s poops five dinner plate triple normal apple fritter sized poops a day…. ug. what subjects girls discuss. πŸ˜› well that’s the back story, I continue to be cute and or fun but no, no romance past a smiling friendship will likely occur and yes, this may continue to annoy me internally for reasons obvious just as it would annoyme if it came true but likely for far different rationale. hopefully you can thus laugh at the ludicrousness of my little world momenmts…maybe smile here or there too because I share in plausibly visualizable ways exactly whats on./occurring. Yes, I was/am poor enough to cry crodile sized tears of cheapness as mom’s day next year might see this year sis helping the bill so the other two feel special..disappear to be all three girls mommin’ it up. – it isn’t a bad steakhouse but you might imagine the places are not inexpensive . well worth the smile and the new life inclusion of MIL who never much was part of her children’s second half of childhoods due to an acrimonious divorce

      • now as to spoiling a book πŸ˜‰ you have the only book length attempt I ever put effort into. I have not attempted another. the book in question is…smiling wattage increases evily…;) no it was a mystery book and during her/MIL’s reading of it and this general time frame, I read who dunnit and deliberately let that drop…because the book; murder house; james Patterson and co author, was shared during reading it who might have done it all along the way as in “she started it!” expletive, maybe *I* wanted to read it! … but oh lord.

      • I now remember about staying at the IL’s house & you telling me it’s completely platonic. But I am like you – age & such isn’t what matters. It’s the person & if you just click etc. Now truth be told my now ex-bf is much younger than me – like I could be his Mom easily – but I never ever saw him that way. Heh…. Yes women can talk abut crazy or embarrassing things when they get together. I’ve been guilty! But they shouldn’t have with you there! Interesting I got the most complete copy of the book you started =). … I’m probably missing something because I’m on my phone…. Peace & smiles to you.

      • πŸ™‚ you have an email to that effect. for additionals. but otherwise heh. there you are, tstuck with a old dusty mound of mushy words… heh. a “book’s

      • I will check in between work things.

  3. Hope your Mom had a very Happy Mother’s day and you enjoyed it with her! What is the best thing they serve at the German restaurant?
    Hope the pups are doing well!
    Did you get a nap?!
    HUGS!!! πŸ™‚

    • if you read all my commentsw to everyone πŸ˜‰ you’ll note the actual evening occurred elsewhere. but when I was at edelweiss on previous visits, I enjoyed thee most their deli sampler plate with beer, and their soup de jou of red pepper soup. mmm. I can not remember if it was a red pepper / tomato soup or just red pepper but it delighted me. — now by way of details I had inlaw/family mom’s day as in went out with my sister’s mother in law and our mother and of course soon enough if sis gets so lucky her too perhaps soon enough in time.. but for now just her MIL and our mother and us two., http://texastbonesteakhouse.com/ 5245 n academy 80918 location. (Colorado Springs) I had my actual dinner for breakfast as you can imagine i’m not allowed troughing being diabetic and even still managed to over eat. I had two rols with butter a 1/2 oz of the smoked pulle dpork sandwich meat, a 1/3 basket portion of fried mushroom appetizer, a bite of the steaks otherwise chosen, the side of mashed potato with brown gravy along with 20 oz water at 2 ribs of the basic 1/2 rack split 4 ways size st louis style not baby backs and a shot of Chambord blackberry liqueur – if I flunk the actual numbers forgive me but it’d take a useless hour to determine that such is still about a 600 calories meal or overeating. I will note that this seems silly but I didn’t need to get a entrΓ©e at all and there still would have been generous leftovers. it was quite spendy yet it was a joy. the gals chose steaks and build your own salads of ribeyes which came with that day fried shrimps, mom got the additional 1/2 rack ribs to share, sis got a porterhouse. I got howled at for not getting a sampler platter as I chose fried mushrooms only but the one momma has salt intake issues *I* have salt intake issues and the three handfuls of the throw the shells on the floor peanuts additional to this dinner were not low sodium kinds… and the cap for the day was mini sized sundae coe ice creams.. so six big togo containers were utilize maybe 7. it came to roughly 200 with a decent not to write home about ratio-wise but not cheap either tip to roughly 50 a person. again the only difference of steak housing here is the salad was a family sized bowl for each gal big and the peanuts thing which not every place does. the server was good and I mean there were lotsa special requests and he handled each and all swiftly.

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