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w16sh, 18

I have a knife similar to this  in that it has an antler handle and is roughly so big.  I must admit I haven’t any use for defesense by being offensive weapons.  I must further admit i am not trying to hint like tom selleck that i have no yse for them- this doesn’t mean i don’t know how to use them.. I literally don’t know how to use knives past cooking uses and very few of them too and don’t want to get stabbed with my own defenses.  such to me is a good reality of statistics for what happens to those whom try to defend themselves knife gun or etc.  I’d rather live as with what has worked, listening however shaming to those whom like me and tell me I won’t make it over there “”

garden sheds… as this is an important inclusive prompt, I include it even if I only view them as a space about that the size of a perfect shelter for one person.  not otherwise the purpose intended.  I know i said they remind me of the venom of experience of the old times… corporal punishment which thankfully has been proven without any doubt to be far more effective at shit nothing in life fuck you you abusive assholes who think reverently on the USEDLESS old time and bring yourselves and everyone around you DOSWN in both intelligence and common decency to so much as wish for the old days where it was a taste of leather from al likikely drunky fuck useless shit of the world whom my oly defense to you love of them is to say right or wrong they cared and literally that was all they knew… but otherwise fuck them and their example…   garden shed reminds me of a woodshed which is more properly the trigger of that thought… but while i’m surely catching hell for disagreeing so vividly, right now in fact 😀  lol it is just not so adamantly ment to sound this way.  I do not have a better way to keep a child from the street than a sound spanking nor do i have a youth unaware of of the family values against theft or blatent disrespect of themselves to earn a whipping.. I would and happily admit this but i don’t take back the vehemance… I’ve never seen one iota’s good in corporal punishment to deter with guidance however harsh seeming to show love… or one big raspberry to any baptists reading me…. so we can cover both politics and religion together.  and remember, i love you even baptists even if i find you immorally confused out of christ don’t bother showing up on sunday you’re burning anyways.. don’t miss my meaning, I want you saved but you ain’t got it most of you .  yes, i was part of the baptist religion and not so as a adult but one who needed nothing more in anyones opinion not the love but another garden shed hour…so fuck ’em, let ’em burn in the love of their jesus damning them not in any other way thank god than within their own mind and experience as why sully the lord on their uselessness?

such is what i feel this moon.  two minutes from now i will start chasing my own hell of food balances and or my own sins in my opinion rather than removing other people’s splinters with the beams in my own eyes 😉

 

andthus you know something of my own values, but you’ll understand in far more evil depth when i can watch amother child hit one in my care .. knowing I’m not going to go pick a fight with an 8 year old and wussily expect them to learn as they will the meanness that sometimes is life and find ways that elevate them… yes, even if this means we cover boxing or bloodsports which I doubt as they solve shit nothing usually, no matter how most of us long for a moment to be a badass.  I never found uplifting in winnning any fight, i felt a fool for solving things wrong.  however, one thing caring for anyone’s child has taught me is, they’re in our care yet they however an imprint of who we are may be true,they are themselves…their own souls, thus if i can think for five seconds and love another human being, i can teach them the best i can to be themselves, not just mini me.  figures this is precisely perhaps why I haven’t children or even a mate … I wont go beat that asshole who pissed you off up….nor drive you far away from your irritating mother  as I cant drive.. so far i’ve never once seen any proof the above said is wrong… nice is bullshit and boring 😉

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About starmanjones

Everything and Nothing interests me. I cook read, write and even have to clean. I SHOULD NOTE: I'm 40 something.

7 responses to “w16sh, 18

  1. as i can be …passionate… on a subject or two… there is a quote, you’re a product of whippings some of them deserved, some of them not… to which i will place the idea i am loved if perhaps not fairly or aggreeably this experience, the only good beating i ever really got was from a period when I left with mom to her job in the mornings early as she drove then for my then school district after a period of time including throwing up on a bus prior to school kids other than me’s pick up and generally refusing to sit in the front set of seats in a 50 person capacity bus ish through bees /wasps showing up inside from windows and all maner of delights…to have my mom in fear of her job coupled with that I was a handful in general enjoying learning i’m not everyone’s cup of tea…yes, no better than pants down belted around for pissing some shit bag off at a job – I’m of less worth forever and always because my parents both felt some other asshole thought little children were a pain in her ass as a professional driver of them. I have other lifelong proof my folks tried for good or bad to help me be me but in this instance I shant forgive or forget they felt eny fuck’s opinion overrode my value likely for the til the end of time which truly is somewhat sad as hate only hurts me, one parent is a decade gone and the other never can really remember yesterday let alone my irritating capacity of 33 years ago to every fucking word you said. no. I’m never ever passionate. add to this every other blankity word in my church better than me. no girl my age left highschool unimpregnated none married eithermost living at her folks house. more than one of the church elders were imprisoned for armed robbery, damn near half of every person i met had an attitude best summed up by cocaine abuse as a personality of which I obviously don’t have any lifetime interest in that shit. I have zero record for all it matters as an adult thus reasonably capable of consideration of caring for children and or elderly people and yet am anaethma to that church of upbringing one’s dead stealing his own life after his father whom i liked reminded him he’d never sit a week if he stole he stole and didn’t sit a week and took drugs later and shot hisself,… one of the accepted stars of his older two sisters both pregnant out of wedlock and older brother joining the service to the cheers privately of others against every value taught in my church of essentially passificism not just conciencious objection refusal point blank to be party to military service…joins as he hopped up his then chick and left town…well the youngest climbed a tree drunk and fell out as is likely to happen drunken dying …never remember so much as a kind word him and others reasonably my age went out of their way to see to it I never was included …the last beg was a 3- some my own dad as i was 14 hinted it was unwise to associate with strongly got me to the last social outting i ever set foot in that church for to be beaned losing forever half the vision out of that eye/clarity okay not that bad but i couldn’t see a stitch for an hour and 25 years later I can diagram the lasting visual damage that is measured. mind you it’s church or fun… I went to bat and as a forever non-allstar hit the ball thrice grounding out once and gaining first base twice pretty much first pitch so .666 batting average best of anyone all day or that church fucking ever…and i couldn’t play. and was pursued like satan to prove it …this was my remembered upbringing.. I haven’t a record, i don’t do drugs past prescribed ones and perhaps drink too much for my conditions as in I do and none is the correct ammount allowed… big sinner me and I’ve been shown over my life to be worth others judgements…which perhaps angers me like nothing else could or can. get work catch hell for blindness work for 2.5 year..after other assholes gaining position over me working 3 months and me working 1.4 more years to get the job in the first place… being valued is important to me. I wont live forever but i live with zero thyroid as in critically depressed for decades and through any of the above shit if for no other reason than i still throughout this hope anyways. and yet proof-wise i have so very little to say it’s as I see it. so forgive me if I have to be crazy now… I’m not yet done here.

  2. a knife like that was used as a murder weapon on Bones.

  3. Did someone say Tom Selleck?! Sorry…now I’m distracted…in a purely shallow I-like-t0-look-at-him way. You know, I see him as Magnum in those short-shorts! 😉
    That’s wicked looking knife! 😮
    You’ve learned a lot, J-Man…expressed some good important things in this write.
    I’ve always been a lover not a fighter person. I don’t raise my voice either. I get things solved through talking respectfully and calmly. If a person wants to fight, they have to find someone else to fight with. I don’t have time for drama llamas! 😀 Oh, well, as a kid I DID tell some bullies off in order to protect the person(s) they were picking on…but, I did it without fists/hands or yelling.
    HUGS!!! 🙂

    • lol, I guess i have to prove justice and how much I learn of it. it’s the only reason i leave these things up when on inspection of reality i’m not in them having a positive time or happiness – so debbie downer is lol doing the ho low can you go? 😀 but in reality it’s true. I get upset seeing it’s not instant successes for me out there… it was all so exciting til a decade of boredom after highschool then?: even as i truly adjusted my habits for betterments 😀 lol it was if i was perpetually a decade behind anyone else and of course that wasn’t true but the things anyone would want weren’t landing in my lap ..why did god have it in for me? so in a way i’m still mad as i was whatever did whatever and somehow didn’t get the rewards for it.. choices made in my favor… or if we’re out to bandy words lol.. I wasn’t the prize taken… of course i can point to a nice array of romances sometimes more than others ever even had not including the marrying of one of theirs for a longer exploration… I mean it’s not easy out there but it is opinion chasing and sometimes this is as simple as an old cain and able story from the judeo christian bible.. cain a farmer heaps a sacriface on the alter for the lord and watches his brother able a sheep hearder offer meat not humble veggies to the gods and accept the dismissal of himself …and whacks his brother….okay interesting for biblical stories the murderer walkes courtesy of god just as is later moses another murderer leads the people chosen by god yet not accepting him by his upbringing to their eventual promised land… the bible is replete with scummy criminals leading the way! or i must fight to be good all my life watching every dream of together out there not come true because it seems more true that shitty behavour wins 😉 simplified in a way but the social irritant or that of not being championed in my time seemingly as the example is given without the yearly alone meetings and constant updates and chats with teachers galor mom and dad visited to help shape my more in need of aids education was… complete with every year some new itenerant teacher claiming i was a cheat to their system so he could a lighten his load or hers but in reality find and expose a a cheater to our taxes so wanh hard stolen being saved… I mean each year this is a second 3– letter from the top ranked doctor in the state for opthomology other doctors ranked as such…but this bachelor in social studies knew more of medicne… than the docs… yep. that’s what was minimum for me all through school now add that i’m a rebbellious ass atop this and can say all those over tired over worked teaches didn’t wholely get through my way but how can they when time and energy are short and I determined to be the long battle? but again I’ve had it all my life seeing others opinion trump mine and mine discarded as never worth hearing…knowing i didn’t get to be considered respected….now interestingly on good days this means so the hell what, i do not control other’s opinions and if i’m ruled by them i’m worse off still… i’m largely free of the usuals of world stresses like this because i’m truly lucky so if I’m not their cup of tea…fine I never am going to be however hard i try to be…. good days 😉 other days I’m upset at the injustice of knowing others value others less and less. a husband and wife drunk at the time beat up a man months in the hospital for parking legally infront of their house and are fined a hundred and fifty bucks for disorderly conduct pay it and a month later this guy dies in the hospital from the original injuries and the city people worry to charge them is double jeopardy… charge ’em! they killed someone for parking legally infront of their home…maybe not murder one as described in many laws but still murder. and more and more people want to have that i phyiscally aoverpowered you attitude of redemption affirmation..sily really… but even i fall into this trap of wishing i mattered in more prideful controllable ways… silly me on those days 😀

  4. I have a knife that cannot be retracted. It stays in the utility drawer.

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