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diff’rents

I was curious… am I so vastly different now than when?

 

http://starmanjones.xanga.com/2011/09/  I cooked more once  tonight is a mention that while i didn’t cook, i got to influence what we got making the case between a damned fine carrot habenero sauce and piri piri sauce for the shrimp-  the reasons for the piri piri were simple… it’s simpler/less complex with a brighter note that with shrimp and brown rice would help the simple offer stand for comment… it made for comment.  it was also good. and while not the hottest of hot food, still didn’t lack for hot lips after…no, not margaret hoolihan!…a condition after hot sauce consumption…. however the link is to a far fancier offering.  again thank you mrs. watson, it was a nice memory from xanga times.

https://scontent-ord1-1.xx.fbcdn.net/hphotos-xpf1/v/t1.0-9/1521966_10151856523667781_102769366_n.jpg?oh=76140ba96a59c0373c43c5a800fbe8b6&oe=5747A911 = if this fails to display or load heh, I’ll understand but it’s from june of 2002, cheyenne mountain zoo, a planter box of daisy,  it was neat as it isolated so neatly.  I posted it to picture.com for consideration and it won ‘honorable mention” or award winning note i think… this meant i could pay a fortune for plaques and for drinks while others maybe mentioned me at a fancy outting in some overpriced place… to this day i doubt i’ve considered joining another contest because of that experience

https://scontent-ord1-1.xx.fbcdn.net/hphotos-xpt1/v/t1.0-9/11863237_483089195188783_226975144235141558_n.jpg?oh=5eec155299afc00a6c989a563d6c1326&oe=573D23E6  albeit not a camera shot but from a phone camera,  i like it more but even i’ll say i’m not in love with the magic the same way so many years later.  a picture from yampa valley botanic garden, steamboats springs august of 2015.    oddly enough it’s more of a standardly positioned  snap, i always otherwise tried for the different angle.

https://entregeeks.files.wordpress.com/2009/01/msn_group.jpg?w=510&h=294

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or i’ve spent time in msn groups which later for a short time were elsewhere before facebook swallowed everyone up in the great migration from myspace – which while great for bands as it did music, it was always so so so shallow…. but right after msn’s heyday was xanga which lasted a spell and now wordpress with a facebook presence, but before this while there was an internet to get there still required a service and that meant money and aol offered multiple options not my pocketbook directly to manage getting on and online…via facebook i still keep in touch with some… fifteen or more years later… kinda like the highschool or college friend i probably never will meet.  but before this even if i worked for them I wasn’t online between the demise of the bbs for the conglomerated communities of compuserve, prodigy/sear and aol… but listed is what it was like scrolling text which at 3– baud was so slow I could even then read it faster than it came in but not at 1200 baud or more… no chance.  I liked little text games like empire which  were fun.

 

was i different though?  in 87 on a bbs i was offering out the church i attended like a good lil boy…i very quickly limited that to once a generation if that attendance… however for some odd reason i wont give blood and still prefer not to get any if there’s choices.  I wrote as i thought then literally seeing the words or hearing my voice tween the eyes and perhaps this is why I did as well in writing.. such is hard to achieve so i hear.     I began to love food more at around 11 ish which shortly within that year was the first time i saw the little and big dippers in the sky… I have seen them since but not regularly since 14.  so in that way i haven’t ever seen well….sometimes better than others 😀  but 11 food, why? i’ll admit it’s just exciting but more so as an avenue to court approval which never really has changed in being important… of course i had no idea it was so largely thankless/nearly pointless/hopeless a field of endevour like so many others with the same goal lol.  I didn’t create a signature dish of my own for 10 years… just think if i’d have cared for any of the instruments  skills for that long how much better i MIGHT have learned to be?  and while this sounds dumb, music has a far greater likelihood of providing money /travel/sex than culinary employment..especially up front.  but oh well i am not a pro at or with either 😉  Ican also say i think aloud on paper doodling the ideas badly or otherwise and that’s no different now than before.. i still read as well when it suits me and burn through them pages with glee losing sleep…heh.  I’m capable and even surprising at some things but large struggle to find that place  and this never changed but nor did my luck of having moments and friends  all the times required to get by…always an angel  🙂    I can’t say i am any less rebellious but i don’t court the bad to be bad things and have a scrupulous record…now  however i’m unlikely any different, just the applications are.  – in short does anyone ever really change?  I mean become fundamentally different?

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About starmanjones

Everything and Nothing interests me. I cook read, write and even have to clean. I SHOULD NOTE: I'm 40 something.

11 responses to “diff’rents

  1. poetry.com search prior to 2012,
    For Art Thou, Spud?

    By Kiss Rouge Miaz

    Sing to me of spuds, browned by coal-red light
    Steaming hot vapors, Rising to the sky
    Eve’ning Chill beck-ons, Moonbeam’s silvered bright
    Scheming up visions, not of what to fry
    Just wipe me one clean, seeing glinted gleams
    Trust your oven’s roar, heating up for more
    More of what but stuff, stuffed with soured cream
    Maybe butter or, maybe salt from shore
    Cut down its middle, revealing each half
    Scoop out and drizzle, dollop and dust thus
    Stirring in liquid to smooth out the path
    Sailed in crisp boats, this delightful must
    Romancing tummy, which warms many hearts
    Those echoing mem-ries tossed in the cart. (a failed to place submission yes, of MINE for a prairie home companion’s a bed of roses contest for a sonnet)

  2. Kakalakola ⋅

    In ’87 / on a BBS? I was / Still learning English

    -_-

  3. “Prairie Home Companion”…YAY! 😛
    You were always such fun on Xanga! 😀
    And I always love when you write poetry and haiku(s)! 🙂
    My Xanga experience lasted 10 years before I closed up my site there…didn’t want to pay any $$.
    I’ve been on WP for four years now…I came over and read friend’s blogs for a year (at their invite) before I finally started blogging here in Feb. 2012.

    I was just talking to a friend tonight about “do we ever really change?” See, I think we mature and we learn…but, inside we will always be who we were born (our personality and heart and soul)…and often we react to things just like we did when we were kids. 🙂 I like that.
    HUGS!!! 🙂

    • lol you were on the new xanga as i saw ya 😀 as most of us transgered over or had working free commenting ability for a time :)..but thanks I just try and try so very little it’s so easy to be me…:D I didn’t add that the comparison of my palms shows very very clearly i am NOT who i was born to be…I’m far more literary by choice … while palmistry will get us dedicated stevie wonder’s superstition if they’re generous, or called names if they’re not lol add this to my earlier years with a natier case of epilepsy from 2-5 with many a grand mal wobbler…during this time and the beginnings of school my mom went through the process to be included in the lawsuit against dow chemical and other makers of agent orange and similar defoliants proving exposure via my father’s service in vietnam and reasonable damage…this was largely vetted by the kennedy institute and oddly enough the law firm closing this clase about my 18th birthday was? seyfarth and shaw, seyfarth being my given last name… amusing isn’t it to have the “family” on both sides of that coin? anyways while i’m lucky and blessed all over the blace and times, there is the earlier challenges and the lasting impact of them with most of my motor control center having to rewire or about 1/4 of me is a redo from early on 😀 i exhibit classic indications of birth defects both common every few generations and signs of agent orange related ones, it really is just here for the sake of letting you think twice if we really do change in life…I add to this a grandmotherly memory of a learned behavorism where i’d do for myself as an early infant before all this epilepsy stuff yet would on knowing as I didn’t see well be instantly helpless as the folks picked me up… translate all of these things to your opinion as in some senses i have to be different from early manufacture … . but again all the shaping and such or choices still add up and after a time there is less likelihood we significant change. or i have a less than straight forward opinion on the subject as it’s too unlikely I haven’t changed significantly. I mention all the dow shite mainly because mom did the work but dad refused us taking part of that suit…period… my chance as adult saw it closed before i could go against that..;) I’m not sure I wouldn’t have done so it was a lot of cash, but as i didn’t, you can say by default i upheld decisions made for my best interests even if i didn’t always understand even agree. 😉 in a way though it’s good i didn’t, it was a new house at the open of the suit and not close enough for my income when it closed or there was a right time for it and a less advantageous time…it’s very easy to be seperated from cash and lose large sums of it for silly errors of idiocy or just ignorance of those games…but aa free house of fancier shot at the college experience… oo lala. I could have made entry into a far different from the one i have again world… so in this sense too i wonder about the change thing here too but less because we ourselves change but we can be in far different circumstances…this isn’t to mean just wealth as hinted at…but it is well enough known we choose our peoples and choices and this makes categories of opportunities…I likely would be a far different person fighting for the life utilizing a college friend network and job set…fundamentally different than one i’d gained of a choice set different than lucky to go via pell and other then programs … i met the other blind kids of my era obviously they remember me on the ski bus at six for me not for them…one did the fight for ibm after a college run and is in a whole different realm of life and choices from mine… a later chance at the same was a silly then uber valuable certificate in certified network adminitration as in computery networks… it cost sixteen hundred dollars at the time and that was budget killing to the folks and I of course didn’t have that, but it was a white collar serious job versus the never close enoughs to even manage an apartment as costs were what they are/were pricy. so imagine the sheer difference of outright job entry to the big time early into working..nothing is garunteed but odds are even a modest longevity at a higher paying gig would have grosely changed how i live and choose… so from a circumstances veneer i’d indicate there is the appearance of differences that later are proven to be chosen and thus are after a time… or there really is something to visulizing the person you want to be and thus achieving it 😉 but ultimately fundeementally no, even that considered it’s just different circumstances not an actual change of responses profoundly different really. but it is worth it to me to blather to keep you around for another hug 🙂

      • Yeah, I hung there for awhile in Xangaland after the big “shake up”…but, didn’t want to pay, so I eventually hightailed it out! 😉 😀
        Blather away! I like listening! And sticking around for the viral…er…virtual HUGS!!! 🙂

      • 😀 as many links as I put out I hope I’m nice! lol couldbe a dirty computer germs spreader 😀 un savory hugs 😉

  4. PS…I wrote a poem about Xanga/Xangans and posted it on Thursday! 🙂

  5. Wow… I miss old Xanga. The old, true Xanga. I can’t imagine what will become of it. And they need a functioning front page! I got the black eyed susan (I believe) to load but not some of the links. Have a good day. peace & smiles

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