into the galactic soup I go again. for those following me on my pitiful daily life streamer of facebook, much of this is not new information but, I:
moved to the mountains themselves of colorado 9.18.16
Iwent to the hospital after what became my new doctor in town 9.21.15 or was it 9.22?
I changed my addresses with most people official 9.22 or was it 9.21?
I filed for work on the 9.22 filling out two applications first to the local mega liquor store and was given the you’ll be waiting lack of interest looks which led me to walk over to the walmart and apply mainly to say I applied two places, not one.
I began my job on 10.16 which means knowing I leave here with certainty about christmas or it’s next day without any possible hope of making 90 days at the place so i left 12.5 leaving not much notice but as they had 2 others one part part time but not wanting that – to have more hours just in time for xmas.
I asked a workplace maybe romance directly out and was directly not accepted of the offer- thus surviving the worst the fear that stops one from trying even if it didn’t pan out. yes there was another spark later but then it was clear too that it was just workplace better not romance imminant when the same banter was to another.
I walked 18 hour more a week for six weeks never letting the third day elapse without exercise on that scale- I didn’t get a direct win in medical improvements like a free pass, but I did stablize more than I have been in years. I also can do that much consistantly as i haven’t had that kind of sustained activity since early highschool when I wanted to play football.
I began reading again for the first time in many years finally reading more than I have in years already.
I didn’t have the luck of maintaining access to my old cycles of bills/living so i surely lost a point off my credit score or it’ll arrive soon enough, however, Idon’t make the majority of my money in the normal ways so I can’t obtain more credit easily anyways and I’m fairly well to that limit now… so, while I get to start the next year with a few dollars more than I ever ever ever have had, I probably paid dearly for that temporary gain. however I took a risk set to get to here and tried at many risky things I don’t try after usualy….however the secret life of this walter mitty is a torid love affair at a place I largely despise to be at and my experience to date largely hasn’t altered that perception.and I’m a closet healthy person? ew.
I did drink new tea here in that I got a stash brand sunshine orange spice and mixed that brew with kroger sugar free hazelnut creamer to a delightful if you care about teas like me way.
I let more people moulder and do not feel guilty about it, however a few have let me moulder too so in general the heavy if shallow interactions of many years now turn back into quietudes and the hope I didn’t pay for my chances more dearly than if I hadn’t tried at all.
I of course managed not to really cook much but by the same token, I have cooked the afore mentioned crab rangoon, tried a dipping sauce that’s magic even if the seared tuna it was then for wasn’t, made huge huge meatballs and then normal bland as possible by my standards ones thus, effectively setting last entirely year before this adventure on it’s ear for trying new things not involving beer or wine.
I even tried tempranillo wine for the first times /grades and a shiraz/cabernet thus improving up here what I’ve truly tried in wines new to me over the entire year before it/here.
I ask you if this list alone sounds to you like I’m desperately trying to justify what feels like a failure none the same on all the critical fronts?I can easily swim in he blues that my health didn’t magically restore while here and even with quiting drinking and walking loads loads more….not surprising really, smoking and the days off indolence are that damaging and all my life I knew it was the small but daily sustained improvement that got me my prizes…however I have taken risks and that spirit of trying doesn’t have to be lost even if this residence is nearly complete and caput. I leave here with some issues worth caution still as in that I didn’t find shangrila here even if i do have to laughingly point out I have had to live on a schedule to make work of being up at ….five-fifteen a.m. which is? a song by mark knopler off his shang ri la album!
I can’t say I found fabulously new music up here as I haven’t but maybe found a few tunes I didn’t know from the same old artists I’ve perennially liked and actually probably have heard before but maybe just now caught the vibe for.
I approach moving ” back home” heh with the notions that friendliness isn’t friends and no amount of nice means inclusion for which I still must be similar to others on a fundamental level or useful as I understand such in those terms… this means in a limited way moving here has me reexamine older useless modes of thinking I thought I’d grown past but as I was around again for new/scratch? I had to relive…. I point out I was useful as in I was good at meeting 30 people a day with a simple thank you for shopping with us….but
I also just as impishly point out that never ever ever once did I ever make dress code as it was explained to me while working there after my first day seeing my other new to the company trainee dressed down for his sins against the same dress code on our first day of training. I’m still impish. I still am rebellious. I’m still for some magical reason all my choices me. not always do I like the results either but not always do I care either 😉
I’m thus back into the galactic soup….again. when I return I have enough to move as i said, I wont longterm have the means to move twice so i have to consider a job or lottery win of some variety and most importantly not be tied to the place with contractual commitments binding me to the point his experience just was a restbit from the usual. I know the WILD hope which is far more foolish save to the heart/soul is to leap into a reasoned further adventure elsewhere adventuring. so now that you read the above, consider
I’m not a fan of snow after walking in the night’s ink sledging shopping carts while it did it’s nature’s best. I haven’t seen all of the usa so I should do so as I would like to. I can’t afford traditional short term vacationing persay so I can just up and move somewhere and milk something of it. while I can not afford everything I know I can instantly afford many of the states i haven’t seen and none of these gems are either rich thusly expensive to live in impossible somehows but very much viable to manage providing I carefully weigh out location for reduced crime and other bumer in my summer of living requirements.
so, this means upper new england is out – snow. same with northdakata and montana both snow and too f-ing cold. nevada isn’t snowy really but I don’t wish to live in a gambling town either. so this leaves the entire nearly deep south of the usa open to me as it is neither predominantly rich thus too spendy to live in and doesn’t threaten snow..mud perhaps but not snow.
so I have seen texas not however lower texas or any of it’s coast. this leaves a place like brownsville texas open as it’s on a border with exploring mexico which is at night mostly so as to arrive anywhere on time….and most of my horror tales are broad daylight horrors so not too seedy or ritzy travel is perhaps possible.
I never have been to louisianna, thus while I adore spices as a rule, I surely can find some of that there and ultimately I fit in being somehow hampered in pursing dreams for any real or percieved and thus made real reasons…however, I’m still hootier about respecting people more openly dishonestly perhaps but appearances wise than I have ever seen come from any louisiannan that I have met – that would irk the crap out of me sinking into a lower standard of behaviour.
arkansas – I haven’t either seen this state and it has more bbq than louisanna so while aligator would be snapped away, I would not exactly starve. mmm however again, the danger is again closed vistas of the life as no state in the deep south seems to show a state’s worth of wealth just that some become kings/queens.
mississippi the poorest ever of any usa state has fine chicken and tupelo honey as van morison sung of the latter as a metaphor likely to a girl.I am not enamored of the blues but some bbq exists as does all the classics of souther outlook and while the poorest perhaps has the least issues trying to be more knowing it isn’t…if anyone is from mississppi, you’ll just have to remember I’m from colorado and otherwise like most people just as full of it somewhere’s else. then there is lesser towns of alabama as it’s craziness to go rural for me but too city is too expensive too.
georgia has atlanta and even a splash of coast so it would offer some chance to lesser town and then explore but likely costs more for said.
south carolina is rishest in history of any state mentioned however being at the very end of the line of states to explore it’s the least geographically desirable having no mexico or anything tantilizing anywhere close and remember I know nothing other than movies which are falsehoods and tv sitcom mostly of anything about it another gross distortion sitcoms.
but such is a list I almost list them in order too, save tupelo mississippi seems the most fun dart at the board in that it’s got more chances to visit more varied sights than any other place and offers the best chances to find my situations. i remember too that I just don’t hear of roving gang activity there… I’m sure they have the urban or whatever blights of modern life… it just don’t see it as a rager of a party town. it’s not where any major writers hail from nor any foodies visit or hail from so aside from an old singer, I’m pretty much golden to waltermitty or garsh be real like me! and success or not as luck and efforts dictate. one things for sure, i stand out anywhere I am 😀 you knew it was me writing this before you were through the first paragraph too…. even if you cheated and or failed to decipher these were actual words.
now in truth I know I’m liable to have a job and a living arrangement that moves no further than down the road from my mother and all of this nonsense above is pipedreaming cash down or shut up…. but but it’s still fun to think and dream as even that long 20 minutes you blew reading this was hours of blissful meaning within me to muse. I win either way. just like i also lose some either way still too.at least it’s nice for this hot second to feel more of the winning….or plucking myself right back up out of that galactic soup to not be the dinner of no one cares about dinner til the miss the next one. wait!
that sounds like i failed to lose all my pessimism!…in the soup again!