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End To Begin Again

I actually finished all I promised and can be cajoulled into this month.  I am free.  Of course i’ve a pile of project next to me as i do a beer.  Of çourse this project is a tad odious and doesn’t pay.  Of course I have books littering every place I’ve been in the house.  Of course i have dreams to get after.  Of course i left early only to have all that early not be enough and end up at home under accomplished.  But, there is redemption in a step in line of heaven to shine even away to improve where I can lives others left in a cell to rot in a rut of routine.  But there is nothing quite like knowing I finally do NOT have to again and thus i have permission to WANT to.  But there always less magic within reality than there is any dream, yet one must try to make what few can come completely true.

this is the one book I’m absorbing at the moment – interestingly it covers a few neat things like the excellence of cooking versus just the ordinary – refer to early parts on bouncy shrimp and how to tenderize meats which both cover rookie mistakes that are avoidable.  refere overall to the classics generally available with a bit of variation as to things like orange chicken which is flat out NOTHING like what I see commonly and she knows this – it’s deliberate.  but egg rolls to chickenwings and dim sum to soups to standard dishes you too can Chinese it up!  i point out there is a compression of ingredient and a simplification of the importance of texture while the larger explainations are just not discussed.  While the tastes can come alive in what can be achieved by a lesser cook of skills/tools/timing-time… culturally speaking not much of the magic is actuall discussed much so far.  However, i’d be proud if i could by rote make all presented, I also look forward to trying.

Dream set/ goal set

Ihaven’t good controls lately hence i’m moving onward to dreams of beauty before i cant.  I’m no longer capable in the normal ways of get up and tour my bag of pills/bobbles and just get on with the day – I’ve had weeks of two step living after my pills and potions and zero luck sleeping til 3 hours before I’m due somewhere up and getting it all together.  the dream is simple as is the goals slow and plodding, i’d like to see a 7 versus a 12 on an a1c twice in a row before this time next year. the goal set is simple.  I cant live like here.  I cant eat what i can not correct for which means as much as ** think i know about nutrition, I know not enough to wing it but have to plan more and be far simpler.  i also don’t cook anymore  what a damn shame!  i haven’t forgotten how  I dont think I’m faster but slower lol but who cares it’s possible to readapt life to my hopes.  if pills take an hour then i have to use that pills of the day thing and make my week up in advance as i just flat out haven’t the time anymore in daily thought/practice.  while anyone who knows chinese knows it’s often quite sugary or thus not exactly the best for those with sugar control as rice is flat out a high glycemic index food for a start…get over it- not everything has to be drowned in a syrup gravy!  and oddly enough a steady diet of lighter seasoned foods and RICE is controllable and overall does drop my sugars as here’s a haha, while it is sugary and heavy enough hitting?  the old joke of burp an hour later and you can have a nother meal’s room…well not with sugar control but the notion isn’t wrong it just means it’s overall lighter in calories…that much ultimately helps.

of course another side issue with food is beverages.  while i don’t have to quit drinking adult beverages, like anything caloric I do have to watch better what i get…. it’s becoming clear i cant binge as much.  be this beer or food .  aw boo.  but i don’t drink enough of my favorite coffee or teas.  I know this is odd to quit a job to get serious about a coffee habit but lol, enjoy the joke.

I am about to move to where i can cross the town in what would be my ordinary beer walk.  this means that as it’s got weather and temperature concerns i best make sure i devize some exercise routines. ew.  i don’t like this notion at all. so i have to have again a non-monetary reason to enjo wanting to…

or in short some ask me what i intend to do as i move.  I move because i’m not thriving much anymore but rutted in routines that keep pushing me out of the equation.  i know it’s not for lack of kindness at work i leave that I’m sad to the point to have invented a move to leave, but that Idon’t get to achieve there and anything me is so low priorit and highly effort/time intensive to resolve, I’m just convinced now I haven’t another year to wait for it to be better only to have another come in on their watch and change it all demoting me yet again like always…of course this is mostly a fear but it isn’t with fairly solid proof and waning patience watching each step fall into place or out of step.  I really don’t think lol subject to proof again lol i have to work as my basics are covered, i work because I’m apparently hoping to prove i care enough to try to honour myself and others to make the most of what i have.  of course after years of a little extra money lets just see if i forgot how to make due and schedule?

no, I don’t need to have you play metallica’s to live is to die or watch red dwarf’s the end episode which begins series one.  it’s simple enough for you to see, I expect to read, cook and write and hopefully get a lil spending money job while soaking up the scenery in my hopefully budget friendly paradise in the high hills.  as to what i want. that’s a slippery question. in that much of what i want i cant have and if i even get it I end up dissatisfied… but as to what i’ve chosen and enjoy I have a little shot to argue with some dreams and goals perhaps worth fighting after…perhaps nto.  I’m late for a beer, please excuse.

By Starman Jones

Everything and Nothing interests me. I cook read, write and even have to clean. I SHOULD NOTE: I'm 40 something.

4 replies on “End To Begin Again”

New beginnings are lovely! New opportunities await! 🙂
What a great cookbook! I’m sure you will master it all! 🙂
Enjoy reading, cooking, writing and your beer! 🙂
I’ll be back eventually. Unless I buy the farm. Or kick the bucket. Or give up the ghost. Or go to The Great Bed Bath and Beyond.
Guess I best not do any of that…then who would bug you on WP?! 😛
Beer-HUGS!!! 🙂

I know I know! I hope you don’t Either too! hugs 🙂 it’s a rare time i should put the phot of the goods up lol but..nah gimme about ten after a potential beer run. timing is everything and beer sales close soon. 🙂 I filed the 4.5 hours work of discovering hopefully accurate lyrics to two discs of sing-a-long material of 40’s 50’s tunes for my day next month with a showing of Actover Sky along with the usual room visits. I hope big boss gets the hint that i’m asking for 140 in printed elsewhere material and an hour of a competant woman’s time to make an email listing print worthy… theree are variables to this life and most likely the answer s… I know where i stand make due. I will but it’d be a bit more proof that a place priding itself on not being cheap is cheap if they fail me this. it only doubles the already stale otherwise material they have on hand. or 😉 I know I’m a bit good, i just want a lil more proof 😉 it isn’t like it’d not save someone’s neck in the long run, we’ve 7 people now who beg after music only sactivities. that’s 8400 x 7 a month 😉 best make that money happy?

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