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the neverending last day

Imagine a moment where all it took was a simple phone call in progress to change the better part of five years.  In this sense, the fiction here is not that it didn’t actually occur, but it still seems a dream.  This phone call was to some suzy who’d metamorphose into some donna then a mirror and azriel.   wait long enough and faces tend to blur but the sameness doesn’t.  I had then no reason to challenge this phone call although it was against my wishes – I didn’t WANT to go volunteer somewhere for another year to get some turn of prize that wasn’t mine but the luck extended my way for only anther’s sake.  I also vehemently hate the embarrassment of challenging others to be a fool as they didn’t listen to MY wishes which were..what were they anyways?  I took up the truth that within activities, I call a amusing game of bingo and did this for nearly not one year but two.  I was asked to work as in get paid for this IF i’d achieve x, y and z.  Most of my preliminary questions were seemingly unfair in that was I able to recognize a face from 20 paces….no, I can not effectively see such a distance….I can see movement and jump to it though….it took awhile but that answer saved this position.  I never had luck gaining employment on my own excepting temporary positions anyone gets unless someone else flat out vouchsafed me….so much for pride of merit, I’ve never known that creature as my champion.  yet I am told I beat out 22 other applicants for my silly job.  I managed being late 3 times in 2 some years and never missed a day.  I’m told I achieved nothing save that reputation which outdid any assistant in recent memory.  Yet each new boss or change of the company guard has meant without fail a diminishment of my duties.  again, merit was never seen in my company at first impression.  I endured all the b.s. that this or that while not my fault was my fault or at least responsibility – what was I going to do about it?  I endured all the cubtle chicanery taking me from 6.5 hours a day all weekends and all holidays to 4.5 hours across 3 days once in a while a great moon i got a holiday off like easter never memorial day or something and all my non working days i was on call so if i took advantage of my day off to do anything i had to obtain permission….which was always treated like a formal request for time off….  I watched 60 some people in this 30 plus room place come and go…the customers that is.  I’ve seen i cant remember how many different faces of staff change. maybe about the same nearly twice as many as we employ come and go.  and for all of this a few facts remain – in my line of work there isn’t often any movement or raises as one is as good the day they start as the day they leave.  I thus know by inference I am nothing more than a babysitter for whoever is sick of looking at so and so today….or that blessed five minutes which is really fifteen to get something done yet not actually leave so and so unguarded-a violation of set safety requirements.  I have all the room I want to make any fuss I’d like yet I am of less value than the housekeeping staff as i clean up no poop or shine not one impression.  yet i i am 25 something grand richer for having been there and with any luck by the payment of 2  month’s cycle’s bills perhaps in less debt than when i started with 5 times the credit extended.  I still cant help but think of this as a simple rookie mistake of not fighting or what I wanted all along – a job I achieve on merit and execute as i please.  I know the smarter of you will point out i did far better with I got than i give credit for and i leave with recognition of achievement and many who do not wish to see the back of me.  I surely did with what i got.  but is it always to be a fiction despite the evidence that I’m a hassle rather than a credit?   one thing is for certain, it’s become a series of weeks now of the never ending last day there with still more to go.

#FictionFridays – a rookie mistake.

By Starman Jones

Everything and Nothing interests me. I cook read, write and even have to clean. I SHOULD NOTE: I'm 40 something.

12 replies on “the neverending last day”

I would like to think so butultimately it still burns me out that it is dead end from beginning to end. and while the new lot is still kindly and yet i t is still a job, I am a tad depressed it wasn’t something grander or worse I barely seem to have gone anywhere but up in paper esteem *credit extended. I gave up seeing anyone I seemed to have known which was always an afterthought anyways in the chance timing. so in a way i suppose i achieved my aims well to deprive myself toward a goal. it’s finally achievable. but again now like all major goals begun saw through and then consigning to the past via judgement it seems a rookie mistake was made, i aimed to be more hireable even if it were as a dishwasher but i had hoped to push forward my workability in areas of my interest… don’t get me wrong in a fair moment i’ll show a page of what is without doubt mine….but it isn’t concrete but ideas only and in a way i’m no more hireable now leaving than i was when i started… maybe time away will soften the feeling.

as the wise Lily Tomlin once said, Time wounds all heels. (-: Seriously, my dear, follow your own path. what is it that you WANT to do? what would you do, no matter what?? I could care less what the world wants, I want to know what do YOU want? oxo

🙂 soon enough that’ll likely be a theme you should submit to the writer’s group. but I’ll likely cover it on sunday if not monday when I’m officially done for my month – I’m scheduled to return in october but that just a paper day and I’ll be long enough moved not living here to be a visitor. but I’ll give you a hint I hit the library I didn’t get what i expected but something explained in a way i can not latch onto for making sushi so I left with easy chinese 😀 you already have a list of gadgets I want.. see if i can not follow an actual recipe 😉

Oh I’m leaving. the snafu to twist my last goodwill is this, my supervisor quit on thursday lunch of laborday weekend. they hadn’t interviewed any outstanding replacements even for me. the word SEEMS 😉 to be that they’d rope the cna’s into more weekend coverage so the department heads of which therre are two not like before one would just “cover” – well, as I say the supervisor left. I of course due to thinking it wasn’t thursday but FRIDAY she left figured it was the usual bullshit make me work the weekend of a holiday instead of asking in advance. but she left thursday and I didn’t here til friday meaning yet again all chances to pad my paycheck are not given me just work my day off so I get the whole holiday eh? then we have nno one at all on a day the meetings and now tommorrow the boss’ typical day away – remember I still need my reference leaving this place 😉 so it’s just a bit more of the same…little respect in cash but all the kindly words ever. just like it is a little gesture but I didn’t get the keys to the place for the few days i would be in actual charge… of course I didn’t need them! it just is that symbolic point I made director don’t just gimme a tin badge gimme the keys to the safe. so to speak. and every possible way i can explain this says i’m burnt out and yet still wish a method unimpeechable to say NO. 4 hours each way by car and I’ve no liscense let alone car is that i’m leaving… I mean it. if for no other reason than that there is nothing left to prove or gain. there is no raise suspciously when the place suddenly is at 2x instead of 3x something so there is no raise suspiciously always when I’m due for review. I can not find anything left but that my attitude will stale. i already do not exist there as in I handwrite my paperwork so another my department head fills it into the book…I see no person on a professional judgement any loonger. my hours are barest minimum I can last of course another number of years as is any time I want as i offer the best solution in life explainably awayable coverage for all weekends and holidays including early out days and even coverage for illnesses. there isn’t much left there for me I only keep being reduced. it isn’t that change is difficult lol its this proven pattern it’s only for the worse. maybe this is prevailing bad attitude, but I said thank you when i left word i was leaving…who wouldn’t 25k richer? any problems I have remain here where they don’t visit. who has time to sift through a verbose bastard’s meandeerings through misspelling and other trivialities?? 😀 (thanks YOU _

Love your title!
Well…I think they didn’t realize how lucky it was to have you! I imagine you light every room you enter! And you are smart and full of fun! 🙂
You ARE a credit and better than an American Express Centurion card! 😉
What is next on your journey, J-Man?!
HUGS to boost you into the future!!! 🙂

I have a book on simplified chinese of a typical variety of chinese restaurant dishes one or two variations I haven’t had like a shrimp wonton soup…and thus a reason to clog a house with condiments… I have this because I want an array of things i can try and learn – I haven’t cooked a lot of chinese esque dishes and it’s been around twenty years since I made egg rolls. I would like a few needfuls for tea and the tea to go with it lol. so I’m keen to do a spot of shopping 😉 I would like to readjust some habits as right now it seems all I did was gain a bad attitude. so simple and domestic is the plan along with catch up on my reading… I cant seem to find any books I haven’t read again about the house.

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