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As it rots

BB gunning by twilight

and crash bang boom drums tonight

another hopeful movies

the rug of routine is pulled just right

I failed to tidy so I’m told

so I’ve all my hours back – financial gold

LIKE SANDS IN AN HOURGLASS

THESE ARE THE DAYS OF OUR LIVES.

http://www.poemhunter.com/poem/days-of-our-lives/

I woke this morning to a nightmare that my hand was being repeatedly being taken by mouth and bitten.  I don’t often see pictures in my dreams only enough of whatever is necessary to convey a story of feelings.   http://www.dreammoods.com disappoints me to it’s offerings of meaning save it’s definitely something to do with “biting the hand that feeds you and general distrust of who I’m generally nice to – I’ll buy that much.  I then awoke after the hour to fall asleep again to my hip being sore as i’ve changed wearing only one shoe and generally walked a little less lately than the 43 miles one week just to make it to work and money then was thin only to become thinner.  I awoke tooke a hot bath for hours and managed to haul myself into work seeing my only call was to who is that number?  whatever I’ll be in at 2…  no inservice today also yet again no checks which is why andwhile this is a thus entire waste of a trip?? it was a good thing to go in to hear the intern left a mess of my desk and i caught the greif for it  it’s also a good thing I am allotted 12 hours a week during low census and 16 in middle ground census which we’re returning to, it was 12 hours as my previous boss was salaried and thus made sure I worked 2 x 4 hour days so the room was there always for me to cover her whim days off.  currently my latest one is hourly so I may return to 3 days a week at 5 hour days here shortly.    other interpretations of hand biters are possibly diabetic neuropathy, or another pal who quit work as they were robbing him as he failed one week too many to make the rent of his space then didn’t like the larceny of the workaround that which meant to get out from under that vicious circle he’d work however many months free to catch up with good fortunes….he quit.  he always needs a few bucks.  without fail if I see him more than once a pay cycles i lose half a check in sundry entertaining.  we all need a break and to get away from it all.  perhaps additionally I can say I see clearly i exist in one’s world only to annoy her boyfriend into being more romantic.    no explaination of contact fits better than that.  there is no returns unless cleverly it’s what can I get out of me that sap…s.tring mouse toy string.  the kitty is bored.  we all know how the mouse fairs.    and before you neglect a key detail, of despite myself i make progress on my goals and obtain bits of luck as you read above but only when it arrives as a punch in the face behind a whole lot of lies/misdirected assumptions.  I still survive myself.    for instance its time to note that I’ve purchased my na beer and even though it’s more costly than real beer, it is one night of no booze and proves something comforting – I may no longer have a reason to put the beers down but I still don’t have to forget I dont have to pick them up.  late night calories diminish thus fasting sugars  with all my meds are nearly normal versus elevated.  it really is a no brainer, I don’t have to spend every night the same.  but nothing fought for comes without the whole world fighti g against me and yet i still manage forward – susperstitioius because all my meds aren’t at full levels that takes weeks   but there it is, and here it rots, the notions of a fine escape from my job as they cant pay me enough yet here comes my hours in a week as the new admissions actually ink the papers of course and 5 months strangulation is nearing its end.. here it rots that it’s easy – the world’s against me!  when it’s more like i’m against myself leading with forever 2 left feet.  here it rots that it’s never going to happen as it does and or likely will.  hand of course the only thing i have to do is be patient amidst the effort/attitude that it will come.  my bonds lay here and rot  and as they rot it turns out the attitude under them coloured the world harder to help me out.

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About starmanjones

Everything and Nothing interests me. I cook read, write and even have to clean. I SHOULD NOTE: I'm 40 something.

3 responses to “As it rots

  1. That dream dictionary is cool! Thanks for the link! I looked up “hand” and “biting”…’twas interesting.
    Sorry you had that nightmare. 😦
    I have very long and involved dreams every night. And most of them are very good. Recently in my dream a friend was supposed to be helping me run a camp and I couldn’t find him so I went looking for him and he was in a tent having sex with Helen Hunt. 😮
    Maybe take the rot and make a rot salad to serve the universe?!? 🙂
    (((HUGS)))

    • salad…. beer. foster’s – australian for beer. 😀 I cant wait to hit aussieland from melbourne and chase some mercury semi dry cider. foreign drinks hugs 😀 decaf for the sissy tea… you are a girl and cant have the caffein anyways so chase me for being a brat 😀

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