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mist moment

missed moments mist moment whatever – lets misspell and or conjure meaning maybe.

there is a beauty to getting a jury summons and hearing the reason why – notorious person on trial beginning suspiciously the same day as your summons.
I do not watch the news much but there is a fair to middling chance I came within 136 people to be sorted for 12 to serve on the guy who shot up a movie theater. all I know is that I wanted out so damned bad because I worked damned hard to get my job not lose it by not being available. I succeeded in being in the 50 picked but dismissed. my whole time was roughly 8am til 10 am which doesn’t seem right with the I was rushing to get out of the house at 5:30 am and didn’t get home til 11:30am and befell the new luck, how aggravating there isn’t a damned doughnut nor coffee gratis! nor a cent in my pocket in a wonderland surely of right priced opportunities…I let my supervisor who scheduled me to work making this a nightmare consideration know I wash picked but oiled away. I will put my 6 hour tour in for jury day pay next viz to work I’m sure they’ll be thrilled. did I mention it rained and was cold….misty morning magic.

sure you can not care.

but imagine that scene in a book where it starts off grey and bleak and seems to rise to its potential. Imagine you sensed power come and go within that each action thought or word only to return again spent busted. Imagine how to be proud I can still fight for whatever reason I hope isn’t the same old attitudes and yet sense I may have not won.

even I who got a refund felt the government swallow my last cent anyways.

in different news the joy of baseball still alive is the knuckle-ballers wakefield and hare or whoever- it is always neat to see glimpses of them not as gods but as ordinary yet gifted still people.

denali and everest were respectively next. to show it for the real death possible and lingering effects of even trying. however the haha is to a limited extent that’s how I feel leaving work…slow enough I could fail because this is what was asked shut up don’t think just do. it is every bit the opposite of what I offer and yet 2 something coming it’s how I survive.

wait suffer reversals and yet JUST DO. and try not to know the laughter of what I am rewarded with for the efforts.

I guess that’s the near end of my month poetry. to fail with pride. oh hush, I’m no artist nor educated to any distinctions, nor am I useful traditionally past simply well dressed and present. I am not rich yet work when I could manage not doing so, and I fight to see my chance a carrot dangling… yet still I dance struggle and reach for the best in comedy- to fail with pride i.e. try try again.

By Starman Jones

Everything and Nothing interests me. I cook read, write and even have to clean. I SHOULD NOTE: I'm 40 something.

4 replies on “mist moment”

not on that jury. whew.
i was reprimanded yesterday for saying America sucks because the news thinks we only want to hear about the 4 Americans killed in Nepal. i allowed myself to be reprimanded. but. indeed but. nature gives us that freaking devastation. america offers 70 people to help and feels proud. and we burn baltimore. and we shoot up movie theaters. we make our own devastation.

yes, we do court light and dark but how easy is it to get out of courting the dark or how easy is it to get and stay into courting the light? how easy is it for someone with a psychosomatic illness such say, as asthma is termed once to be to stop it from being an illness? I know this much, it’s but two or three little opinions atop hurt to move on to a darker set of decisions or lighter, like lol did the government really suck down my last cent? yes it did I had to choose tween a long walk versus shorter one ones but is that wholly true or was it the generosity of meeting up and being damned determined to be generous with a homeless one last thursday killing all spare cents i had to make sure he lost a pint of whiskey and his last cash (want the high times? – term to offer bad gambling opportunities) mine to make sure it was two little bottles not one and I had coffee money and another last toss? it would seem I invited trouble upon myself being supposedly nice? as to the unfairness of say time off at work do I not hurt myself forever letting it happen it’s clear abuse begins with knowing it’s to only get worse yet hoping it gets better…well once I got off the occasional holiday and all the lame ones now I get shuffled as it’s either a good set of days off or woe is life…well it is because now i get less do more and beg for split shifts or my walking papers the respect is long gone just the need to get more…and while it’s not a perfect outcome yet it is, all my choices lead here and yet I hope and fight knowing full well if I said I’m literally only staying to septmember to file proper notice for all of october which gives me the best advantage of being debt free and ahead a little – I would be let go before june began as I’m staying to prove longevity on the job and prove again for sea.gov I have worked in the modern paperwork of times 7 years. I don’t know why this is important to walk such a gauntlet, but it is to me yet even if it’s no other job, I have the same proof I had before if I get a situation that’s just right time marches on if not I take the same short terms to get a bit more and by. and woo too! two years on the job longevity at forty when many approach 15-20? not exactly painting a proper picture. that last thought is a bar of achievements that changes in time /ages what is expected of us and one of other reasons why I’d say it’s like I’m 20 years now behind in life because I do not get the same chances to build with in or the same measure of success expected. yet, you are right we court the attitudes and our lives so while the above is true, it isn’t like we never find troubles it how I never mention the bomb gift and the cost especially behind the walks to make the gift have real meaning as it has real cost…why embarrass the fellow he cost me plenty and pissed it away in an instant? not my choice and he’s free in the love of any good god to make his choices and or learn to make better ones/ fail on my part. bitch that a month earlier the give sent notice I had and did initially plan to accommodate bugger for me It was a glass of tea and praying I didn’t have to stay…not their fault, they gave me time to plan. as for work, who ever got the respect they deserved..some sure, but some want something somehow they either didn’t take or earn, I haven’t the cheer to cross my employers to a successful plan forward oh I cross them and annoy them soundly but to no plan… thus why shouldn’t I learn the hell of plan for months in advance to hear sorry can’t be helped maybe next time? not to leave in disgust no one really cares and this is normal to life but to make the most of what I have which if nothing more than this even this is a choice. I didn’t choose bad gambling I chose to brighten a night I did, I didn’t leave soon enough because otherwise amazingly I’d have had all the coffee/ lunch money/ beer fund I typically do and one more joy for when the hard times of work reality hit i won’t get what I want…but is it so bad that I try to do second best make the most of it? at least here I am about as normal as america :))

Lots of “m”‘s! Now I’m thinking about M&M’s! 😉 😛
Yikes! :-/ That would be a tough jury to serve on. 😦 Glad you didn’t get picked!
Keep dancing and laughing through the struggles!
Yes, we can always try again!
JitterbugHUGS!!! 😛

laugh with me I found some old enemies and they need a laughing at. often when I wish to help it is the opposite I am achieving. sure, I found someone who could us a bright moment and I am glad i gave it but as I point out without rancor the first thing he did was piss it away and top another bottle and drain it. he might sense he’s cursed and he needn’t be but I spent years digging out of the malaise of who I was once upon a when. I do like an occasional lottery ticket but each and every time i get a taste it’s that dream just a few more tickets away…therefor I win more often not playing and thus seeing in books the areas picked are 30 years ago now fourty’s open space bordered mega million palaces for once upon a time’s players… I too win with the more chances not spent on lottery to see the saved beauty. I didn’t win my bid to finish school so I have no paper to wave about but even I know it’s not the paper but subtler things that are what success / fortunes can be built on. like ctrs certified therapeutic recreation specialist the professional titled education to what I do carried letters sure but it’s the 100k insurance that makes all parties go gaga…and pays the extra cheese over time …or more money is to be made selling insurances this life than anything else…laugh 😀 next today is the last day to put up my outlet, I might. thus complete my third year here and finally improving my space versus digging it out and maintenance. I see so much of it is silliness now it’s due./immenant. but, I want it. I expect to succeed in my stop gaps month to make the last push to be firing salvos towards the end of my debt starting in june…I mean it too is sorta silly as without work I couldn’t get the debt nor pay it off yet there’ll always be so stupid expense I may not reach utopia of RICH..but I do want and have a safety net to obtain, I’m 40 momma needn’t forever be it financially but always will be it spiritually as she’s allowed to be about. so in a way whoopee, I’m just picky pants saying here or there she can’t help. 😀 thus I still am a brat after all of these years. I suspect work will be clinched til after I have what I want already complete…so in this way wish me luck to weather it, the waste of time towards the goals as they the goals aren’t a waste but mostly are waiting and such is a waste. hugs of a gluey nature so you’ll stick about.

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