I walk to the street corner. As I’m blind and fully loaded with groceries, I hit the buttons of legality. Two different emergency calls are in progress and need the intersection and blaze through as I wait like anyone not wanting to be mown down by speeding steel. The lights reset away my chances to go. I am reminded of the joke where those who run lights and or jaywalk will have to stop twice at the “next one” I most certainly did.
I went a second time on missions to get things at the kmart on my was to the wait three lights at the intersection cause I gotta or step just twice and be dead as the dodo…. knock three time on the ceiling if you want me, twice on the pipe means the answer is no – on the off chance anyone likes that sixties pop gem. I didn’t blow the budgeted payoff!!! woot. of course it’s reminding me of all the things crashing like a wave about done with it’s roll all these little things I must have ignored… but you can grab a drink of not water and go ahhhh around here. I’m pleased. you can make a round of oven able snacks and have the foil for the pan. paper plates to enjoy it and trash bags to schlep it all out and away.
I thought amazingly funny as in odd on the way to the bank for my last 270 so i could make enough change equal a pack of cigarettes. my area? I thought it messy with littered smokes… oh lordy was it far filthier and worse in areas I thought were cleaner… more butts, more of those butts smoked to the nub nothing left. but what was more fun still was the patterns of where i knew there’d be the piles… I could just see the seen, know that person – and never once failed to guess it right… what was funnier still was the obvious higher class places of car sales where you had to walk around back to smoke as they knew the clientele is far more anti low class smoker. I should say cigarette as these folk would be the snuff users or the cigar not cigarette consumers.
tonight, other house cook made up the swag paneer, a nice london broil marinade and in general there was much fun taste testing the recipes. also on hand was pizza and beer.. a different pizza was available earlier as well.
I remember still the evil line: it’s later than you think. I lately have another divination warning in force too, I will not win the fight. I know I do not want to admit I know in my shaded from logic heart that these statements are profoundly true. I may pay this or that off but I will not “win” the fight. because it is simple, respect isn’t whether I have 3 months cash in the bank and am three months ahead. I also know it’s later than i think as in I best get after whatever dreams while I still can…. I’ve been a decade into diabetes as my uncle is now into amputations. okay I’m younger and oddly enough try harder in successful ways with great fundamental habits to be stable if not actually good….but it won’t matter if I get a few months in the bank and thus can begin to say not just NO but go fuck yourself you evil count cow – which isn’t how I feel about my supervisor but self respect and in general reciprocated respect is a lot of how much no one gets away with saying. just being obstructive isn’t the full way to respect… nor is being an asshole to woman a great way to get and keep one- but there is something elusive about power and that force of said we emanate outwards to attract the world or repel it away. perhaps this is though not the time to but try anyways, I would lie to meet and borrow for a pleasant evening a couple of nice folks. right now, I want to have this sense I’m worth it I did my share … this is why I know I won’t win the fight and it is later than I think. I just await the universe or someone to say okay, then what?