Then, What?

I walk to the street corner. As I’m blind and fully loaded with groceries, I hit the buttons of legality. Two different emergency calls are in progress and need the intersection and blaze through as I wait like anyone not wanting to be mown down by speeding steel. The lights reset away my chances to go. I am reminded of the joke where those who run lights and or jaywalk will have to stop twice at the “next one” I most certainly did.

I went a second time on missions to get things at the kmart on my was to the wait three lights at the intersection cause I gotta or step just twice and be dead as the dodo…. knock three time on the ceiling if you want me, twice on the pipe means the answer is no – on the off chance anyone likes that sixties pop gem. I didn’t blow the budgeted payoff!!! woot. of course it’s reminding me of all the things crashing like a wave about done with it’s roll all these little things I must have ignored… but you can grab a drink of not water and go ahhhh around here. I’m pleased. you can make a round of oven able snacks and have the foil for the pan. paper plates to enjoy it and trash bags to schlep it all out and away.

I thought amazingly funny as in odd on the way to the bank for my last 270 so i could make enough change equal a pack of cigarettes. my area? I thought it messy with littered smokes… oh lordy was it far filthier and worse in areas I thought were cleaner… more butts, more of those butts smoked to the nub nothing left. but what was more fun still was the patterns of where i knew there’d be the piles… I could just see the seen, know that person – and never once failed to guess it right… what was funnier still was the obvious higher class places of car sales where you had to walk around back to smoke as they knew the clientele is far more anti low class smoker. I should say cigarette as these folk would be the snuff users or the cigar not cigarette consumers.

tonight, other house cook made up the swag paneer, a nice london broil marinade and in general there was much fun taste testing the recipes. also on hand was pizza and beer.. a different pizza was available earlier as well.

I remember still the evil line: it’s later than you think. I lately have another divination warning in force too, I will not win the fight. I know I do not want to admit I know in my shaded from logic heart that these statements are profoundly true. I may pay this or that off but I will not “win” the fight. because it is simple, respect isn’t whether I have 3 months cash in the bank and am three months ahead. I also know it’s later than i think as in I best get after whatever dreams while I still can…. I’ve been a decade into diabetes as my uncle is now into amputations. okay I’m younger and oddly enough try harder in successful ways with great fundamental habits to be stable if not actually good….but it won’t matter if I get a few months in the bank and thus can begin to say not just NO but go fuck yourself you evil count cow – which isn’t how I feel about my supervisor but self respect and in general reciprocated respect is a lot of how much no one gets away with saying. just being obstructive isn’t the full way to respect… nor is being an asshole to woman a great way to get and keep one- but there is something elusive about power and that force of said we emanate outwards to attract the world or repel it away. perhaps this is though not the time to but try anyways, I would lie to meet and borrow for a pleasant evening a couple of nice folks. right now, I want to have this sense I’m worth it I did my share … this is why I know I won’t win the fight and it is later than I think. I just await the universe or someone to say okay, then what?

By Starman Jones

Everything and Nothing interests me. I cook read, write and even have to clean. I SHOULD NOTE: I'm 40 something.

7 replies on “Then, What?”

I’m trying to understand if it’s this Universe or someone who says, Then what, is what defines you. I suppose it’s like that conversation on beauty being in the eye of the beholder. You got me thinking about class. There is the pretentious class which is less than in that it’s more about how they want to be seen than in their regard for others. Class seems to be a skill in balancing making another person comfortable while know there are all sorts of people’s versions of comfort.

The flat steak was a hit. After marinating (my own concoction of balsamic vinegar, olive oil, salt, worchester), I sliced the flank against the grain at an angle little strips, fajitas style. Pan fried, and Oo la la. Very tender and juicy. I would imagine like you in your very good moments.

But your talk of amputations scare me but not as much as the idea probably unnerves you (no pun intended). I’m always awkward in this situation, sticking my foot in my mouth (there I go again) but we try humor. Sometimes I think that even if we have our full faculties, we still experience locked in body syndrome. Anyway, if I do suffer foot and mouth disease and something’s gotta go, should I have just shut up? 🙂


no, I like when you talk. and i did indeed coinky dink with you on the balsamic playing with the tougher cuts of steak or was around it, wasn’t my meal but cook next part of the house’s play hour :D. maybe i should tell unc the good news, now that you’ve a portion of your left foot and your right leg gone, the doctors are just looking out for you so they can cut down on your hoof and mouth disease. 😀 😀 😀 which he might find funny but I think I should wait til he’s out of rehab at least. 😀

so…i will risk, asking thee of big brain. because i know, as in proof, as in i live in a free house, at this point, do you get the LOA thing? law of attraction. point of power is in the present. possibly thee is healthier than uncle because you DO exercise some control over your thinking, which is where it all originates. frack the outer circumstances, thee be the creator of your world. oxoooooooooo

good fortune is good fortune, surely I can not say I’ve a record of fine living within the rules so I must say I’m fortunate to avoid a lot of the hurts that I already know I have trouble healing this meaning even the little bombs in the night. my house at it’s best is damn safe for me 😀 even with a ladder in the middle of the floor.

Dead as the dodo! 😮
Yes, navigating the busy streets can be an adventure that could turn a person’s hair white! 😉
I’m sorry to hear about your uncle and his diabetes. I have a good friend who has battled it all of her adult life. I’m glad you are able to do things to have stability with your battle.
All in all…we must always keep our sense of humor going! As life likes to throw us goof-balls some curve-balls! 😉 😛
I appreciate your sense of humor, J-Man! 😀

Odd to think: my then supervisor quit less than a month later – leaving me director oo oo! I didn’t work there save one day six months later. I moved three times and am half a country four jobs removed from that one… technically five. A few romance s forward. Why did I change? Weeks of real flirting and guess who shows up with a surprise live in her moms place unemployed boyfriend .. embarrassing then favorite next after edging my boss to destiny different quits it’s a month long process there heh. And it finally dawned on me I wasn’t to keep my shine badge or care. Ugh I was sick of 500 mg/dL fasting sugar morning puke on your shoes hand to head nope no fever off to work with you! Oh it was? You gotta be there! For people – guess who covered me? 😉 shh I just obviously needed change… a year later ? Joy returns in a smile albeit one that a year later moved out of state changing her mind inviting me to her wedding another … will I attract my smile now? Who knows either it’s a miracle! Or.. pun time! … the miracles! (Smiley! Sing me some “tracks of my tears)

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