Okay, You Married Bastards!

I thought of railing here upoon the “why is it I’m single?” I mean what did I really do in life to be forever so blessed. surely poorer folks have managed to obtain jailed togetherness. surely uglier folks have found the power of darkened rooms and flowing spirits. surely the pretty flock as if as moths to their own bright flames.

truth is I’ve seen how more successful folks than I have purchased the home. kept the interests alive and had more lonliness than I. so it would appear that this is an attraction thing…but such is only a beginning.

I know I can be read by those who know me in an instant. I have seen this in the silences that speak so loud. I see how one in the mists of my memory mentioned a situation every words as true as describing me but the few more years into this life. railing against how should they haven’t been hooked long ago they’d never suffer this hell and are about to stop. I have heard how I am every bit their husband yet I’m not there. I do. funny thing is that it seems i’m fine in theory but really doing so horrid in practice

oh the boo hoo boo hoo.

why I’m not thrill to play this game so much of how can I lie myself up a bit of lasting advantage is this.

it seems I get plenty of chances. every instant my mind looks about is proof I had another glimmer there and I’m just surrpounded with hoope should I open up my eyes to one minor thing.

I push away this advantage consciously seemingly almost by the choices I make. I have the bar happies yay. I even smile dreaming of one now.
I have the forever a good internet love affair going. I really like the one so far 😀
I have many deign to talk to me now and again despite how every action is to mean something else and we’ve all our repeutations.
I think so long as I don’t say this aloud that I get people make conscious moves as if signs to say I’m attractive.

am I smoking something? drinking up a pink panther? I don’t know but I seem to make a heavy handed array of moves so the light is scared away.

what is marriage but a lasting friendship? it can be the best kind of when friends behave more like enemies at constant war or the far more enjoyable bunny bop forever love. of course one would rather have more two and skip the one but.
who has foever seen the one? the interplay that hey whatever the searc is over you weere with me all he while… yes that’s a song lyric.

I can lament each scheme
with each torment judgement I’m less
she should only be-lieve!

but here’s a novelty, how about I win being me. how about I see as if instantly sighted to all that I have. I am some much more a catch when I am not desperately trying.

well you marriad batards. what sayeth you. is there some magic I lack like brains? or am I rather right that perhaps wat will happen will happen. there really isn’t much out there but to be out there fishing if one wishes to land something. not withstanding the single senatorial canidate knocking on my door, it’s not going to come knocking on your door.



I woke early after going to bed early. I mean oh god fifteen early 2 after a sunset slumber. Okay you care so deeply you’ll yawn with me. the point is the boooks. I couldn’t for courtesy’s sake tromp all over and fire up the computer with the blarring light at the sleepers, so I tromped around loudly for smoking outside…remind me to wd-40 my hinges again :D, and puuled an array of books down. plop. right there on the floor. opened a window for freshness and… read some.

the bible, god’s word or man’s – a jehovah’s winess book
muslem societies in african history
another african book-
a poetry book…sorry, not a glaze special
wendle wilkie’s one world
four screen plays discussed by someone apparently important. (t2, thelma and louis, etc)

okay so I’m not obviously in my room or I’d remember the titles spelled better or actual titles period. here’s what I got.

again, for thefirst time.

hidden ruth hidden secret, like a door I opened with regret… I’m paraphrasing badly. I didn’t like that poem much.
the bible is not an ordinarily preserved book. however, from the very first picture listed of a man of incorrect ethnic origin show with finger to scripture some taller woman the good word, I wanted to defrenistrate. pardon me lately but one thing about the way things should be is somewhat sensitive with me – there is “god’s” way interpreted a zillion ways to another man’s advantage. sure as h.e. double hockey sticks hasn’t been mine and I’m not even the brunt bearer of the sexes I’m male and thus religion seems to be more open to me!

Iopened the lichen book and saw apretty hinterland of namibia, africa – coastal. deseert country yet high enough humidity to support lichen well and quite beautifully. as I read this the intriguing possibility of the old tale of manna from heaven perhaps! being lichen and thus the bible being one more point dull boring reality true versus magical mystically powerfully true was a thought.

the musliem societies show a lot of anti muslem. I mean the whole of the blak out of info conveniently negates “what do you know, the ancient city of coldoba…spain…had x amount of public lighting while london was still a village. arabs weren’t and aren’t always backwards. I especially loved seeing how the justification of slavery trade was pricipally made and it’s enjoyably damming. for it seems sadly that he’she of whatever land by fundamental beliefs or lack thereof is the only justification for slavery the non believer is…fair game. however it would appear that after awhile its really only he/she who others THINK is a non-believer that is ….fair game. minor issue.

don’t worry, the christians get it in the neck too and look far stupider to boot.

the screen play book was me reading how the writer went on about thelma and louise. I haven’t to date seen that movie but I do know it had a defining type of impact on what would open the nineties. this was geared more towards the writing aspect of the words and why what can work works but what tends to get people the shrift fast…poor writing. you who read me may well know I’m challenging and or a complete mess with minor moments of properly presented communications. but how the passion of the project went on was important to me how that person breathed a story to life and sold it.

I share now with you that, I am touched at how people struggle to be who they are against convention or even social approval. I share with you the picture of the namibian hinterlands lichen. to dream if you will of a simple chakalaka with bread by the seaside sunset. the recipe follows the picture but the compressed concepts is easier.
as time will take this down, this is a picture of a lichen field with a dirt road through said. namibia africa.
this is a recipe for chakalaka and it is far far too complicated to me so I offer you?

one can rotel…mild medium or hot as you choose
more garlic and onion as you choose to taste be they fresh or otherwise.
tin of baked beans
small can tomato sauce, the 60 cent kind.

heat and eat. serve over bread or grilled meats as you’d like.

or in short, all this is a long thing about what happens when I’m up with little to do past twiddle the pages.