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it didn’t happen one night.

I’ve this grand theme for halloween rewriting the hits so, sorry christmas but my teeth are sharpened for another holiday cheer been reworded ala beer.

I was working in the lab, late one night
When my eyes beheld an eerie sight
For my monster from his slab, began to rise
And suddenly to my surprise

He did the mash, he did the monster mash
The monster mash, it was a graveyard smash
He did the mash, it caught on in a flash
He did the mash, he did the monster mash

t’was slammin’ the cans liquored up right
when my tummy growled to me it’s plight
sandwich monstrous many to grab and some fries
pockets afire and my feet did fly

I did the crawl, the whitecastle crawl
whitecastle crawl, they lead to the stall
I did the crawl and peed behind some wall
I did the crawl, the whitecastle crawl.

From my laboratory in the castle east
To the master bedroom where the vampires feast
The ghouls all came from their humble abodes
To get a jolt from my electrodes

They did the mash, they did the monster mash
The monster mash, it was a graveyard smash
They did the mash, it caught on in a flash
They did the mash, they did the monster mash

hey maybelle Carling’s black label cans twinkle tonight
and surel it is quite the illegal delight
to be stumbling drunken anywhere past twelve
I should’v e holed up where I dwell

I did the crawl, the whitecastle crawl
whitecastle crawl, they lead to the stall
I did the crawl and peed behind some wall
I did the crawl, the whitecastle crawl.

The zombies were having fun
The party had just begun
The guests included Wolfman,
Dracula, and his son

too bad it’s called being a bum
but I’m why your employed, hun.
us pests to the seven eleven man
oops that’s white castle run.

The scene was rockin’, all were digging the sounds
Igor on chains, backed by his baying hounds
The coffin-bangers were about to arrive
With their vocal group, ‘The Crypt-Kicker Five’

They played the mash, they played the monster mash
The monster mash, it was a graveyard smash
They played the mash, it caught on in a flash
They played the mash, they played the monster mash

with stars light dancin and all the normal bedded down
beer in cahoots with belly and suddenly its perfect sense
I mean you know what it’s like when you cut loose yes, imbibe
you’ll take 3 sacks of burgers please whatdaya mean it ain’t my 2.05?

I did the crawl, the whitecastle crawl
whitecastle crawl, they lead to the stall
I did the crawl and peed behind some wall
I did the crawl, the whitecastle crawl.

Out from his coffin, Drac’s voice did ring
Seems he was troubled by just one thing
Opened the lid and shook his fist and said
“Whatever happened to my Transylvania Twist? ”

It’s now the mash, it’s now the monster mash
The monster mash, it was graveyard smash
It’s now the mash, it caught on in a flash
It’s now the mash, it’s now the monster mash

from out of the menu the voice did waffle
she’s got it wrong again damn lady you’re awful
oh and there’s that smile half-baked smug
3 SACKS of burgers what are ya, DUMB?

I did the crawl, the whitecastle crawl
whitecastle crawl, they lead to the stall
I did the crawl and peed behind some wall
I did the crawl, the whitecastle crawl.

Now everything’s cool, Drac’s a part of the band
And my Monster Mash is the hit of the land
For you, the living, this mash was meant too
When you get to my door, tell them Boris sent you

Then you can mash, then you can monster mash
The monster mash, and do my graveyard smash
Then you can mash, you’ll catch on in a flash
Then you can mash, then you can monster mash

order was wrong and they threatened to call the man
corporate’s phone bank lit up and them roaches scrammed
I got another round of hot 3 sacks
smug baked was canned for all his flack

I did the crawl, the whitecastle crawl
whitecastle crawl, they lead to the stall
I did the crawl and peed behind some wall
I did the crawl, the whitecastle crawl.

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About starmanjones

Everything and Nothing interests me. I cook read, write and even have to clean. I SHOULD NOTE: I'm 40 something.

6 responses to “it didn’t happen one night.

  1. Weird Al should check you out.

    • I remember an interview question he was quoted to say, do you even want help with parody ideas….nope.

      it reminded me of itself as I watched a dr demento documentary. I’m shown that sometimes it is just in the moment and company things can happen and thus fine BUT as this is business and cut throat it is not like weird al gets paid for the publishing of his lines that way unless people use this outside of the context of the songs…and as such one has to pay for his fun and also bring it more fully formed as in ready to go who needs weird al? or the other way around… and thus I thank you for the compliment but don’t expect a public outpouring of weird al love on my talents any time soon 😀

  2. You’re such a funny bunny, Josh! Don’t think I didn’t catch your political aside, because I did. This post reminded me of a show where these boys try to get to White Castle. They are stoned and hungry. I reckon it’s logical that those nocturnal, wanton creatures that imbibe have similar stories. (No better way to increase the beer guttage than three bags of reconstituted more of the same……both a monster mash in the kisser.)

    You better do the Mash as long as Michelle allows it. Just kidding! The corporations own our govt. Ooooh! I’m sorry for talking dirty on your site!

    I will say truly that this made me laugh out loud. THAT is a compliment. Trust.

    • which asside 😀 and for that matter which unfortunately for me slur as well? 😀 there’s quite a few. the customer is always right, the stereotypical loser employee on something, roaches oops aren’t meant to mean mexicans but actually that is a slur meant or not…I mean I probably didn’t even cover your mention yet 😀 but it’s fun… just remember while I wont deny a drunken stumble, I rarely display these attitudes in anything other than writing exercises. I try to be nice… and you were thinking harold and kumar go to white castle? as in the movie?

      • That’s the show!! That boy was on the show called House. That show is so good! I’m a big Hugh Laurie fan. The aside I refer to was “too bad that I’m………” and I know it was not from a mean-spirited place!! You are the epitome of sweetness…..or blind sweetness. 🙂 Thanks for giving me the heads-up on a new post. Admittedly, I seem to revert to very depressing topics which are the antithesis of who I am……or are they? (inserts sinister music tag….)

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