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surviving one’s self

every morning since thursday I’ve either enjoyed the art of my floor jackson pollacked *please understand he did art with bits of colour and a common criticism of said is to say i vomitted fine art)   or I’ve felt…artistic.  now, I could say this is the hellabaloo of the local virus at work? or perhaps some FINE deli style fried chicken done wrong, perhaps one too many or maybe I need to sanitize my dishes better….and lastly a combination of all or maybe it’s just a sugar ghoul.  I do not know, most options say I’m somehow at fault… I don’t like that ring.

next is I completed my vacation  substitution for work. I did not have angry calls saying where am I today so 😀 maybe that’s a good thing. 😉  I achieved a book where without a handy reference of a different time to compare to, I see it just about as full as usual..  I see areas I’d like to explore for improvement but such seems a real slump in enthusiasm.   I did type up n idea for re allocating wing the building with minimal expense  to achieve an improvement in space.  I did do many more things chatting with people I’d not ordinarily talk such ways to. and yet the spectre of wondering what evil lurks to make all of this count for nothing and be a detrimeant seams to be haunting.

for instance, I remember nice night where both the gents did theovernight I did more than I usually did.  I caught hell for the place being a disaster.  it wasn’t  yet any night a   gal was my other person, I did less and got more praise.    I have a long list of feeling confident only to get hollered at.  that is but one example.  I honestly expect grief every time I’m pleased with myself and or some form of failure just when it”s my turn to shine.     this means for now I expect praise for my week unless I did something horrible to be pounced upon with glee.    I expect this praise to come after pointed complaints for contrustive? my ass destructive always criticism.

will I be able to sort out myself some more as in all fairness, this is the exact problem i have with faith of any religious nature….reward later…  I too know to achieve anything some method of gaining mine and some more of other’s respect/championship is needed.    I seem ready to take the next oppinion blow to all I know I did well and steps for betterment whether they need improvement or not…have been achieved.  I suppose that’s the week smile I’ve got going and that of a onion soup to drool over.  I guess now it’s time for a smoke. my pills and some dishes. attend to the floor to make sure no art remains 😀  I should point out just like always I showed up sick or well and cheerful like always which I suppose if I remember right is about my best quality going.

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About starmanjones

Everything and Nothing interests me. I cook read, write and even have to clean. I SHOULD NOTE: I'm 40 something.

7 responses to “surviving one’s self

  1. Hmmm, I wonder what your proposal for the building wing said. Sounds exciting. Cheerful sounds wonderful. Doing less and getting the credit means you’re a manager. 🙂

  2. Oh, but even then, if you’re a good manager, you have to give the credit back: “I have a great team, and with them, all this is possible.”

  3. It’s yours, and it’s what you know in your heart. ❤

    • hug, you make one hell of a fine looking quiche by the way I haven’t even gotten up the gumption to check how much I need food wise to onion soup. I can not enter happily king soopers after that chicken I should have known better. damn trust issues.

  4. Oh! and Ugh! on “painting” your floors Pollockesque! 😦
    I hope you feel better by now.
    You have MANY good qualities, J-Man! 🙂
    Yes, we all have to survive ourselves…but, we should spend more time playing with ourselves.
    Hmm…that sounded different in my head! 😮 o_O
    Anyway…what I mean was…we should enjoy being ourselves and enjoy our lives! 🙂
    Salvador-Dali-HUGS!!! 😀

    • ba har har har on your naughty entendre. 😀 I know exactly what you meant…speaking of exactly it’s like eggsactly and …somehow this is coing to end up a scrabled eggs joke…quiche. ;D
      yes, that’s why I went to moes bbq. I’m so full the beer is a slow nurse.
      Ialso am somewhat better i knost count the mornings when there is only rumblings now. the happy spirit to heals from a whirlwind of disasters week of work. I mean don’t get me wrong on paper I achieved EVERY thing I wanted. the cost however I cant say yet as it is a wait til next time to build to find out if I made the right notes and moves.
      I was a bit converationally centric on my second chance dinner at work invite. oopie. I did leave at least a handfull of errors in the book proceedural or otherwise. ma’am, I’ve a trade for you. I know you’d rather not ruin the mystery of where you really live thus 😀 lol I can’t trade, but consider/ I need a lot of NON gel ink, extra fine rollerballl BLACK ink pens. I’ll happily consider the find of the century awesome root or nealy beer in exchange. not kidding, definently chocolate icecream unless you get exactly the right maple butter creame.

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