every morning since thursday I’ve either enjoyed the art of my floor jackson pollacked *please understand he did art with bits of colour and a common criticism of said is to say i vomitted fine art) or I’ve felt…artistic. now, I could say this is the hellabaloo of the local virus at work? or perhaps some FINE deli style fried chicken done wrong, perhaps one too many or maybe I need to sanitize my dishes better….and lastly a combination of all or maybe it’s just a sugar ghoul. I do not know, most options say I’m somehow at fault… I don’t like that ring.
next is I completed my vacation substitution for work. I did not have angry calls saying where am I today so 😀 maybe that’s a good thing. 😉 I achieved a book where without a handy reference of a different time to compare to, I see it just about as full as usual.. I see areas I’d like to explore for improvement but such seems a real slump in enthusiasm. I did type up n idea for re allocating wing the building with minimal expense to achieve an improvement in space. I did do many more things chatting with people I’d not ordinarily talk such ways to. and yet the spectre of wondering what evil lurks to make all of this count for nothing and be a detrimeant seams to be haunting.
for instance, I remember nice night where both the gents did theovernight I did more than I usually did. I caught hell for the place being a disaster. it wasn’t yet any night a gal was my other person, I did less and got more praise. I have a long list of feeling confident only to get hollered at. that is but one example. I honestly expect grief every time I’m pleased with myself and or some form of failure just when it”s my turn to shine. this means for now I expect praise for my week unless I did something horrible to be pounced upon with glee. I expect this praise to come after pointed complaints for contrustive? my ass destructive always criticism.
will I be able to sort out myself some more as in all fairness, this is the exact problem i have with faith of any religious nature….reward later… I too know to achieve anything some method of gaining mine and some more of other’s respect/championship is needed. I seem ready to take the next oppinion blow to all I know I did well and steps for betterment whether they need improvement or not…have been achieved. I suppose that’s the week smile I’ve got going and that of a onion soup to drool over. I guess now it’s time for a smoke. my pills and some dishes. attend to the floor to make sure no art remains 😀 I should point out just like always I showed up sick or well and cheerful like always which I suppose if I remember right is about my best quality going.