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are we there yet

the usual fluttering things hit my mind and stomac because this check determines whether it’s big instant forward, little instant forward or grueling effort….financial choices wise…mental effort.  someone clear the armchair and let’s find the pipe tobacky.  I cant cash it til Friday of course but now I’m steelier after abstract things.  so in the spirit of childish things lets deflower the actual flower not the bambi movie skunk or pretty girls…just the flower head’s petals I’ll make my dreams, I’ll make my dreams sooner.. I’ll make my dreams..

What is it I even care about?  I mean I have a whim posted on how to make up a core stereo for audiophile pleasures. it’s seven paychecks.  I have a travel dream and the fullest extend of it is – smoking camels in key largo (yes, I know Bogart did it ’43 in fact Casablanca…but also passed of cancer) then beaching on both the gulf and the Atlantic followed by meeting nearly two handfuls of people in person most for the first time and the only pinchers are timing- that’s appearing to be two paychecks for travel alone and it’s ancillaries and two for accommodation and normal fun .  I have this grinding need to pay everything ahead on utilities witch literally is rent to me that’s two paychecks and finally I have bills like many so I have one last check todays perhaps to pay off the whole year’s fun and yet I must live too so can it be the extra to keep me from scrounging?  but the balance problem is focusing each day at a time then each check is my last so I push harder to learn my way and remain safe within growing at my job and humbly so.  thus if you count that’s six months which I don’t even haveas I have two months then a meeting to see if and how much I lose to ssdi repayment and whether I get to keep my job at all which I will two months anyways maybe three so as to lay up enough against thinner times.

I’m not unhappy to pay back “x” or need to be careful with “y” a nd not shit on the gods for making me learn “z” the depth of thanks for a shallower gift perhaps because “x” is the law and we follow them and cuss ’em if need be but be gracious. “y”  or why is who I am by choices and mine have expanded this year…. but realizing this power with what I wants not wow I bought good beer and expensive cheese I’m a versed gouramond.  I’d like some stuff! to look like I worked half a year and made quite a lot out of it. learning patience  is frustrating.  but remember too that I haven’t forgotten I doubled my financial powers and am financially ahead on the curve with the utilities which are my rent paid forward so I have a literal safety month before Christmas and perhaps the actual cash rent portion for the four people split you know what would happen if someone moved out.  a safety net before I’m fourty which is a long way away… but not that long this birthday is 39.  I too suffer from what I should be doings or havings like any coming up into old farty birthdays.  the assessment years 😉

 

so yes you cn see it’s POSSIBLE but feels like a carrot charming bunnies.  but it is mainly a question of are wethere yet?

By Starman Jones

Everything and Nothing interests me. I cook read, write and even have to clean. I SHOULD NOTE: I'm 40 something.

6 replies on “are we there yet”

For me it’s grueling effort when I begin to envy the backpack and the trails and have contempt for the material. By comparison, you sound to be at least little instant forward. Good job. And if you love your job, BIG instant forward.

mom pointed out that I should be more careful leading with negativity. I only draw more of it to me. I of course note that she happens to be right and any time I’ve led with my personal truths/issues, I’ve really got a colder reception. I thus am not trying to be first with real life concerns. first is awesome positivity or a smiled joke about how plastic joyful great it is and I am. later with the truth 😉 even if sometimes immediately after. so, 😀 I’m really pleased and amused the latest light myself on fire for a date shine up photo got what is for me a landslide amount of likes thank you for yours, on the fb. I have that paycheck and it’s ten thirty local time…wee plenty really to get about. and because you if’d about. …I like my job even if the new brightness is diminished and I’m determined to make every bit of use of it to say holiday nearer your way…it’d be my birthday oddly enough you’d get a shot to see me as I’ve an uncle I’d also like to say hello to and I’ve yet another nice fellow from my town now closer to yours. I’mfairly sure after I fight for it…anything were having is much better with a fight…except girls where all the magic is the fight and then the lifelong whining begins that like jers all gals can be they let you win. 😉 I mean I would like to pay the rents and have the rent down a roommate split in place/bank thus before I’m 40 I have my cash up front safety net… I mean that’s worth working for…I like my job that much to work one day/check/detail at a time for this this would be quite the achievement for me and the paperwork hell that working is for someone on disability papers. to gget nice stuff yes, but to achieve the little gains in freedom….fought and paid for

Gains in freedom is a good way to put it. It’s like lining up another job before quitting the current one. Always have to have the money in place, and I don’t know Kung Fu to be the backpack transient like Caine. Your photo was a good one. People like you.

hahahahaha, I don’t know enough kick bottom moves to be a bum or I don’t have the intestinal fortitude to be on this or disrespected fringe. 😀 ma’am I think you can manage most everything you need to.
caribou coffee mr almond here is pleased even if he has long been out of almond syrup

Caine did work when he entered a town. He was not exactly like traveling ministers looking for a free meal. The good news for him was he had his Kung Fu to help him during the times he was being bullied for being Chinese. You’re right about my managing being on the disrespected fringe. I keep refusing promotions, and now I’m being bullied over the littlest things, and I keep giving them bigger reasons to pick on me. The question is, Do I stand up for myself? Or take the abuse until I find a new job.

I’m fairly sure now that the romance “” is gone0 nothing as in job can compare to my job and I love my boss;. so, moxy fruovouse – I love my boss.. puke buckets on standby if you’ve not enough sarcasm in your soul. and sineade o connor’s nothing compares to you…as in my job. . take this job and shove it0 for get the guy artist, just in case you must buck up and admit it’s past sarcasm, the lady is a woman if you want you employees to ravish you…workin 9 to 5 dolly paron leaving on the midnight train to Georgia as you’d rather be in his world than on your own. Gladys knight and the pips…not in nottinghamn roger miller Disney is it seem hopwless

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